My fiance and I have a dilemma! At our venue, children (1yr - 12yrs) cost circa £30 a head. We are torn whether or not to invite children to the day! There are a few that will be there, our neices/nephews, but can you pick and chooose which kids come?! Some of my friends say yes and some say no, you have to say (for example) no under 8s - but that would mean not our neices/nephews!
I went to my best friends' wedding this weekend and she had invited children, but some parents decided they wanted the day off - anyone out there with any advice? any mum's have a point of view?!
Thank you!
Can't wait to be a Mrs to my Mr xxx
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
I'm a mum of 3 and I'm only having my 3 there, not even my niece... Think it's just personal choice... We're thinking of the cost too and our food is £3500without children, so we're trying to keep the rest of the budget down x
Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
CommentAuthorvicki
I'm also a mum of 3 and we're having our 3 and we're also inviting my 3 nephews but that's it. It's your day though and if you only want your nieces/nephews then that is up you the only thing is you might find that some people won't come if the children aren't invited
CommentAuthorGillianE
I know exactly how you feel, i have the same dilemma, i am inviting all my family including the kids, however as were having a night do when i invite my friends i feel obliged to invite their children. But if i do we will be over run with children as in the ratio to adults. But if i say no children and family children are there it could cause problems, and may mean that some of our friends do not come at all. But then i ask myself if i say children are invited too the chances that friends and family will leave the children at home for a night out on their own could be quite possible.
I am sure you will do what you feel is right, at the end of the day it is your day and you should do what you want to. I'm sure people will understand. It may end up not been as bad as you expect. xx
CommentAuthorVelcro
we're just doing it so only the family can bring children, luckily for us there arent too many of them, or I would be saying immedaite family members/children on the bridal party only, its your day you can pick and choose who you want. Even then Im giving the guests the option of leaving their kids at home - and I'm really hoping they will choose to hahaha
Its very mixed views regarding kids at weddings - but if you just invite willy nilly you run the risk of it turning into a kids party. Plus, it's your day, other people can feel free to invite who they want to theirs.
We have children ourselves, so its not just that i dislike kids (which Il be honest, I do)
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
I think if people don't come just because you've said no to the kids being there then I'll be honest I just think that's out of order really.... If they wanna pay £30 per child for their children to be there then so be it, but I can't see many doing that,
Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
CommentAuthorkrissy905
i have in excess of over 20 children on my side of the family most are my nieces and nephews children. we also are paying just under £30 per child. what i have decide to do is invite there only 2 children on h2bs side (is nephews) my own 3 children (obviously) and I'm also inviting my sister 3 children ( as she would only moan if i didn't) the rest i have said are more then welcome to the evening reception but it would cost way to much to invite all the other kids and the day would be over run by children. I'm sure a few people will moan behind my back but tough its my wedding and I'm paying.
CommentAuthorStinky87
the only children i am having there are my flower girls and ring bearers as they are my maid of honour/ best mans children and my cousin who is coming over from america as her child will be about 3 i cant really refuse this but everyone else is a no and if they dont like it well tough its my day, if they dont want to come im sure i will have other people i wanted to invite to the day but couldnt afford as im only having about 50-60
CommentAuthorBobsi
I'm a little torn when it comes to this. I want the children there but at the same time I don't want lots of children running around and don't want and I don't want them passed off to other people while my friends (considering them for bridesmaid) are having pics and poss wanting to get drunk.
I only have 3 children that I would consider inviting. My sis who is 12 so obv she will be there. My 2 friends children, 1 will be 6 and the other will be 2.
Will have to speak to my friends I think. Xx
Got together June 11th 2006
Getting married June 11th 2014
8 years to the day and I'll be Mrs T.
CommentAuthorHayley Elizabeth
I'm only inviting my nieces and nephews and there's 8 of them. I've said to everyone else to please respect that we can't afford to pay for more children than that. xx
CommentAuthorNearlyMrsS
guys this is so helpful thank you! I was feeling so guilty about considering not inviting them. under 1s are free and i think thats a bit young to ask people to be away from them all day so i dont mind them coming but it was the group of 3-5 year olds i've been worrying about! xx
Can't wait to be a Mrs to my Mr xxx
CommentAuthorHayley Elizabeth
£30 a head for a little one is really expensive too! xx
CommentAuthorNearlyMrsS
@Hayley Elizabeth - I know! we were shocked when they told us! But the venue was so perfect in every other way we decided we'd just live with that! xx
Can't wait to be a Mrs to my Mr xxx
CommentAuthorVelcro
we've been quoted half price for the kids, so approx 12quid a head, which isnt too bad compared to some of the prices you ladies have been quoted, that's outrageous!
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorMargaretH85
We can't invite all children to ours - we're having about 20 in total - and if we had all the others (cousin's children and children of friends) we'd have no room for adults on the list.
Our only exception will be any baby under six months, who are being exclusively breastfed at the time, because only mummy can do that. (NB: I wouldn't dream of saying to a breastfeeding mother, 'oh can't you just express for once', as expressing milk can be quite difficult).
I'll be fully prepared for anyone choosing not to attend, as their child/ren cannot attend, and will respect their decision.
CommentAuthorSarahB814
Think for me its different as im not having a sit down meal. I have 4 kids and my h2b has 1, so thats 5 right of the bat, but i dont personally thing i could ask my friends not to bring there kids (as i say im not having the expense of a sit down meal) I think more kids the merrier, infact my kids are all inviting a friend to come as well to keep them happy and have someone to have fun with.
CommentAuthorSianyCaitlin
We've been umming & aahing about this & we've decided to just have children that are involved in the wedding (Flower Girl's etc) & we are asking everybody else to not bring their children, which they are all happy about as they said they would rather leave them at home & let their hair down. But I am preparing for it to get nearer the time & for people to 'forget' to get a sitter in advance lol xx
Got together 06/07/2009
Got engaged 16/07/2012
I marry my best friend 08/06/2014
Can't wait to be Mrs Sharp x
CommentAuthorvicki
We're only having 6 children at the most, who will be my own 3 and my 3 nephews 2 of who I don't think will come anyway
CommentAuthorSonya
Found this tgread very helpful as I was unsure about this too, would love to just have my 2 flowergirls and page boys but h2b' mum has already had a meltdown over his neice not being flowergirl that I don't think we can get away with not inviting his neice and nephews. Don't think I'll be letting non family kids though
Became Mrs Mulholland on September 12th 2014!!!
CommentAuthorGirl-groom
We are having some children at the actual ceremony, but they are all family and in the wedding party. The only other person with children is sending them to school that day so they will come to the evening reception. I would approach the parents if you could and ask them what they think. I have a stepdaughter and if me and my partner were invited to a wedding but requested not to bring her I think I would be a little offended as she is part of us, but if it was a question of money I would happily cough up the cost of her meal so it wasn't an issue. It is a difficult one, but it's your day so do what feels right to you. Kids can run around and make mess and noise, but if their parents care about your day then they will be watching and keeping them in line I'm positive :)
CommentAuthorMrs C to be!
Thankfully we are both in agreement. No children! It's different for us as we don't have any. We don't have any nieces or nephews, and our friends that have kids if they have them they are either pregnant now or they have children under 2years. So we are saying no children. For us, being young we want our friends to enjoy the day and not worry about feeds, nappies and going home etc. I do think that I might raise my eyebrow though if I had kids and they weren't invited. But then I'd askdo you know my kids?? If you don't then you shouldn't invite them.
Also I do think if someone doesn't come because they can't bring their children and had a couple of months to sort a sitter, then I would question how much of a friend they were.
CommentAuthorHannahD47
No chance! The little monsters can stay at home :) Like mrs C to be we don't have kids, so are making our wedding an adults only occasion :) we know that one of H2B's friends and his wife won't come due to this but it's their loss :(
Xx
CommentAuthorWeeMintyMonkie
When I get married i will have children there. My best mate has 2 boys the same ages as my OHs two and my SIL is pregnant now so if she has a girl there's a flower girl for me lol xxx
CommentAuthorKirstyW49
I've got a brill idea, have wedding on a friday when children are at school or nursery!! lol
CommentAuthorsarah
I really like children and my family doesn't have many (although that could change by the time the wedding comes round) so luckily this isn't a problem for me. I think I'd talk to your guest and ask them if they want their children there or not. That might give you a better idea of whether you'll be inviting that many or not.
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
We're having children as a general rule, but we've worked along the lines of: "they'll probably leave Harriet with her grandmother and have a weekend as a couple". In actual fact there's only two couples who we think will probably not bring their children; both have just one, very small baby. Otherwise where families are invited the whole lot are invited. Our venue is pretty reasonable; it's £20 each for under 12s.
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
CommentAuthorJackieFC
We've said to people no children, we have the page boy, 2 flower girls and one extra who's whole family is coming from up north, and yes it has caused issues with some people, but at the end of the day, it's our wedding and can't please everyone. If everyone had their kids we would have an extra 33 places!! And just didn't have the space at the venue
CommentAuthorEllenH27
We're having a children free wedding. Our venue has a max capicity of 100 guests, and my guest list is already that without adding children. Friends of mine had a child free wedding in the summer and know no-one even mentioned it. My BM even has a 6 year old and she was fine when I told her, said this way she doesn't have to worry about running around after her daughter and can really enjoy the day. I wouldnt worry to much. its your wedding, therefor its your decision, don't let others sway you. x
