Wedding Forum - Invite or not invite ?...

*Sorry long post*

We are really struggling to decide if we should invite a certain person to our wedding or not.

I hate this person with a passion, so do a lot of our guests. (will call him Bob)

My OH used my phone to text Bob, due to his being broke, Bob later found out it was my phone and he started texting asking if my OH wanted some drugs and asking if he was having a fun time with another women!
To start with I ignored the texts thinking he had texted the wrong person on accident, but then they got more and more frequent. I nicely texted him back telling him he had clearly go the wrong person and to stop texting. ( My OH has NEVER done drugs and ALWAYS tells me where he is and who he is with just in case I need to get in touch with him regarding our son. He is good at letting his phone go dead)
I then showed my OH the texts and left it at that. A week later the texts started again but in more detail.
This time I got mad and texted him back with lets say a few choice words!
As if all this wasn't enough Bob then told my OH's friends I had threatened him and his child. I didn't even know he had a child!


You are probably reading this thinking why the hell are they even thinking about inviting this person!

This is where the problem is.....

Bob is engaged to a friend of my OH's and they expect there first child just before the wedding. We have put down we are inviting her and the baby but so far not him or his other child.
However we have invited all other plus ones (even ones we have never met), so we can't even say there are space issues and I don't think it would go down well if I said he is not invited coz he is a p***. My OH still talks to Bob, more for his friends sake.

What would you do?

I would not have that idiot at my wedding full stop. Even if it meant not inviting your OHs friend. I wouldnt want someone as horrible as that at my wedding.

Plus, I would block his number so he cannot contact you again...

I agree with the others. Absolutely would not have him within a 20 mile radius of my wedding if it was me.

I would talk to your friend, and maybe discuss with your OH the best way to approach it, I would also have the old messages etc to hand and if she questions it you can show her why you don't want him there. she may not know what he is like which is the only thing that may be difficult

^^ I agree!

Thank you Ladies.

After reading your comments and the texts again, I decided over my dead body is he coming! Even told OH it was either me or Bob before he had a chance to say anything on the matter.

OH said her not being invited is not even an option, he has known her since the day she was born and she is more like a sister to him then a friend. (which I completely understand)

I have agreed to her being invited BUT he has to speak to her about Bob and explain that under no circumstance is he invited or to step foot in the building and why. It is then her choice if she comes or not.
We are going to leave it up to her if she wants to bring the baby or not and are going to make it clear to her that our friendship in no way or form is going to be affected by what Bob has done. I have no problem with her at all and we have become quiet close so hopefully she will no be offended that I don't want Bob at the wedding.

I agree with the other girls redo not to have bob there!
I'm glad you put your foot down on the matter and giving your OH friend the opportunity to come with her baby is the right thing to do, I hope it all works out for the best for you xx

Well done! The right decision made there I think.

Let us know how it goes and her response xx

That sounds the right thing to do, I would def speak to her before the invites go out though, my husbands best man sent a save the date to another couple in our friends group, by the time it came round to sending out wedding invites, the gf in the couple was quite obnoxious and not nice to be around, so understandable they didn't want her at their day, however they just sent him an invite with her not on it, which caused a massive argument and he now doesn't see any of us, which is a shame as he is our son's godfather. I def think if he had of spoken to him about the situation before hand, things would hve worked out different. xx