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Wedding Forum - Invite dilemma - conflicting information!...

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  1.  
    • CommentAuthorLoz K
      Posted: Mar 6th 2017
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    Hi ladies,

    I'm currently preparing the wording for my invites - which are being made by hand rather than being brought. I was going to send the day invites out about 4-5 months before our wedding because we need to give the venue numbers so that they can raise an invoice for 75% of the overall cost of the day at 3 months. The rest will then be invoiced 1 month before once we give final numbers. However, the websites all say to send out invites 2-3 months before! Am I being too premature by sending mine out at least 4 months before? It's only because the venue needs numbers so early on!

    Another dilemma is that our invites include information about the day, including the fact that only children of immediate family are invited and our preferences on gifts - we haven't got a list as such, but are asking for a small contribution towards our house renovations if people want to give, but making it clear that we don't expect them to. Apparently those things are against the "etiquette" of sending an invite!! Would you be happy to have this information on the invite, rather than try to find out another way? I don't want people to think that their children are invited and then be disappointed when they find out they aren't!
  2.  
    • NicoleW665
      CommentAuthorNicoleW665
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Mar 6th 2017
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Hi Loz,

    i would do whats best depending on your venue, if they need numbers earlier, send the invites earler. The info on websites are a rough guideline only.

    If i was to receive an invite that requested donations towards house renovations i would be completely ok with it even though i would personally feel odd about sending it.

    Maybe make a note on the invite that the invite is for named guests only. x

    Members signature icon
    When we met: August 2009
    When we announced engagement: December 2015
    When we will get married: September 2017
  3.  
    • Emily17
      CommentAuthorEmily17
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Mar 6th 2017
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Loz my invites are going out at Easter and I'm getting married same day. RSVP date beg august
    JUST SEND THEM!

    Children. If their names aren't on invite they aren't invited so no need to mention it separately I wouldn't have thought.

    Gifts. I personally don't like the idea of putting it in the invite as I do find it a little presumptuous even wit "we don't expect a gift but.."
    But at the same time it is a done thing and wouldn't object to receiving an invite with it in or treat the couple any differently to if they didn't include it.
    My OH wanted to have a gift list but we didn't know what to ask for So we aren't. Both parents are informed of the response to let people know if they ask.

    Members signature icon
    Met in 2009
    He proposed Jan 2014
    Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
  4.  
    • CommentAuthorLoz K
      Posted: Mar 6th 2017
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    Thanks ladies. I think I'll go ahead and send them out when I planned to!

    Re gifts, I think I wanted to wrap it all up in one go rather than have people ask what we wanted at a later date - we already have everything for our house but it needs work so thought it was better to state it there!

    Emily I thought the same thing as you, but apparently people still think that their whole families are invited even if you only specify the parents - some people have said that guests have even crossed out the number of people that the bride wrote on the RSVP and amended it to include their kids! Hopefully by making it clear that venue limitations means that it's children of immediate family only that will do the job!
  5.  
    • Emily17
      CommentAuthorEmily17
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Mar 6th 2017
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    Cheeky people. I would definitely include it then. Are children allowed on the evening?

    Something like, 'We apologise that only children of immediately family are invited to the ceremony due to venue space limitations however all children are welcome to join us for the evening reception"

    Members signature icon
    Met in 2009
    He proposed Jan 2014
    Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
  6.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Mar 6th 2017
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    If you need the numbera for the venue earlier than what is the norm then get them out.

    As for the no kids and wedding gifts info, most people put that on an 'additional information sheet' in the envelope with the invite and is perfectly acceptable x

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  7.  
    • MichelleC961
      CommentAuthorMichelleC961
      Got married 33 months ago
      Posted: Mar 6th 2017
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    Yes I would def get invites out and also put a sentence re kids- I don't expect gifts but Woukd rather put it in the invite- we are going with a honeymoon fund with a company so will be adding this as an insert :-)

    Members signature icon



  8.  
    • CommentAuthorLoz K
      Posted: Mar 10th 2017
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    Thanks ladies, I appreciate it! I'm going to include a suitably worded paragraph about children of immediate family only and then deal with any RSVPs that come back with more than the allotted number at that time!
 
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