hello lovely brides2B, I am so stressed out at the moment I just do not know what to do. Im sure many of you have been in my situation but I just need a little advice, We chose and paid for (deposit) our venue back in april. On thursday my mum decided to go and have a look round (which i didnt mind! totally allowed too!!). My mums sister is wheelchair bound and as my venue is an old manor house, things are not extacly on the same level ie, one or two steps dotted around the hotel etc. When my h2b and i went to see the venue the manager told me they have ramps etc for all the steps that will be put out for my aunty. (bearing in mind, expect for the entrance/reception area of the hotel there will only be one other ramp needed down a few steps into the room i will have my marriage and reception.) My mum has now gone and told my aunty that there are steps all over the hotel and that the hotel only has one ramp etc, i have told my aunty that yes there are steps around but the areas i will be using only will need 1 ramp and there is also another entrance to outside that does not require a ramp should she want to go ouside for a smoke, and this entrance is right next to where my room for the marriage is! My aunty is not happy about this and feels the hotel is totally inadequant for her and her needs (they have a disabled room too and actively promote they can cater for all disabled needs on their website) and that we should make a visit to the hotel to check it out. (again i do not mind, but it is an inconvience) My stress is, if she does feel the venue is not right for her wheelchair accessibility - where do i stand!!!!!!! I will NOT change the venue, but i want HER there¬! I just can not believe the selfishness she is showing. I think it is very childlike, and I just do not know how to approach it. I will take her to the hotel to show her but i know she will say its no good and to make things worse, i know my mum will agree with her (thick as thieves!) I have 13 months till i get married, i do not need the stress now! I feel really sorry for my h2b, his family have been fantastic, we even had to take people off the list from his side to fit in my moaning 'have to have' invited guests. (room only holds 40 people) Can i disown my family? Please!!!
Really sorry for the long moan, but i do feel everything i try to do for the wedding my family try and savatage it or highly express they do not like something where my h2b family say nothing and always ask how things are going.
off to stress in bed now! Jo
CommentAuthorLaticschick Holland
Oh dear hun, all you can do is explain what is there for her. Why do people think Weddings are about them and NOT the bride and groom. If she cared enough she would listen and attend! Don't worry to much hun. Im sure it will be ok x
CommentAuthorsbride
Sorry to hear they are being such pains hun. I think you should take them to the hotel so your auntie can see for herself. Im sure once she sees it she will relalise that its fine. If she isnt happy then just say, well this is where we are getting married, you are invited but its up to u whether you come or not. I think she is just blowing things out of proportion. Its your wedding hun, u get married where u like x
I am now Mrs Stacey Stiles and loving it!
CommentAuthorSoon2beMrsHall
I have the same problem martyn's mum is in a wheel chair but we are looking for somewhere that she can feel comfortable. I mean if your aunte does not like it then she just wont be abe to come. I mean sorry but at the end of the day they do have ramps and a loo she can use so i dont see the problem
Cant wait to to marry Martyn
Wishes the wedding would come faster
XxX
CommentAuthorDrunchPunk
It's not like you're getting married in a marquee in a field, where she'd have to make her way over mud. There are ramps and rooms she can use - there'll be very VERY few places that are perfect for disabled people, so this seems like a decent compromise to me.
My MIL2B is mobility limited and uses a wheelchair for the majority of things and my venue is also an old manor house, the parent's in laws 2 be went out of their way to pay the initial deposit on the place and for the ONLY disabled room (for them stay overnight) because its what WE (me n H2B) wanted.
Yeah she interferes (but in nice and relatively tolerable ways) and is extremely helpful in what she is doing (helping with wedding plans) even if she does get more carried away than me at times. :)
Not sure I could stand it if it was just negative things.
Only negative points I've had is the date (schools back or not - that's sorted now) and why spend so much (because we want our families there) and at the end of the day its our choice and everyone seems to have accepted it - if they dont then fair enough they have the choice of putting up - paying out themselves - or staying out.
Not taking any prisoners now - things are sorted - everythings going ahead as planned and looking forward to the big day :)
The days are flying by, can't wait :)
CommentAuthorbtb2011
Slightly different scenario but Leon's nan was moaning that our venue is too far from where she lives so we took her there at the weekend and she loved it. Hopefully your aunt will understand why you chose it when she sees it
CommentAuthorPossum
If the hotel can make the rooms and other areas easily accessible for your aunt, then she shouldn't be complaining and still should be honoured to be invited. You've gone to a lot of trouble to check that she would be able to get everywhere, even making sure she can go and smoke if she wants! (I don't care if my guests can or not!!) If she makes a fuss you could ask them to put the ramps out and see if she can get from place to place.
How can your aunt say the place is totally inadequate if she's not been there?
Stick to your guns and say that you feel the hotel caters well for people in wheelchairs and you won't be changing the venue xxx
CommentAuthortwirler
what a stress you dont need right now. All you can do is explain and maybe show her some pics or the website but u have definately done all the back ground work and it sounds like they just want attention xx
Officially Mrs Joseph
back on the diet re set my target
CommentAuthorjnaden
Thankyou for your replies, ive had a sleep and now im feeling more relaxed about it. at the end of the day, the facilities are there and if they are not enough then its not my problem. i love my venue and nothing will ruin my day.
