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Wedding Forum - In-laws family ‘money issues’...

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  1.  
    • ZaraK25
      CommentAuthorZaraK25
      Getting married in 4 days
      Posted: Mar 19th 2021
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      edited
     
    Hi all, I just need to talk about this to someone. So basically my fiances family have always been rubbish with money and my partner has always helped them out big time. I’ve been with him 10 years and I can honestly say they’ve never given him anything in them 10 years but he’s given them a lot and helped them out a lot.

    My issue is we are getting married overseas due to one of my family members being seriously ill and unable to travel. It will cost his family around £400 each for the weekend including flights, luggage food etc. Now we have given them plenty of notice (18 months). In my opinion saving up £400 for your sons wedding isn’t a major ask? They all work and his mum and dad actually came into a large amount of money each last year...

    When we first got engaged the words from his brothers mouth was ‘I hope you’re paying for us all to go over there.’

    Now I’m slightly jumping to conclusions because they haven’t actually said they can’t afford it YET, but I just KNOW what they are like and I’m waiting on it! :(

    What would you do if this situation does arise? Do I allow my partner to pay for them all even though he himself can’t afford it? Would I have a right to be mad?

    Plus I know they will wait to last minute when the prices are sky high aswell even though we advised everyone to book ASAP!

    I just know that if it was any of my family they would do anything to be there for us :(
  2.  
    • KayleighM275
      CommentAuthorKayleighM275
      Getting married in 2 weeks
      Posted: Mar 26th 2021
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    Don't event think about paying for them!!!
    If they actually want to come they will sort it out themselves. If they wont find £400 in the space of 18 months then unfortunately they probably don't care much about your wedding and they don't deserve a free holiday off you (this is on the assumption that they don't have any major good reason, id find it hard to believe that your fiances entire family all have the same reason).
    If the situation arises don't get drawn in to a long conversation about it, just give a short answer i.e. 'we cant afford it, sorry you cant come' and let that be it and if they press the subject just keep repeating, 'we cant afford it, sorry you cant come'. The more you invest your energy into reasoning with them the more it's going to upset you both and overshadow your special day.
 
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