Just been reading about this poor girl who has received an email from her future mother in law about her apparent lack of manners - couldnt believe it! Read it and see what you think......... justified rant or mother in law from hell in the making??....
Email from Mrs Bourne to her future daughter in law....
It is high time someone explained to you about good manners. Yours are obvious by their absence and I feel sorry for you.
Unfortunately for Freddie, he has fallen in love with you and Freddie being Freddie, I gather it is not easy to reason with him or yet encourage him to consider how he might be able to help you. It may just be possible to get through to you though. I do hope so.
If you want to be accepted by the wider Bourne family I suggest you take some guidance from experts with utmost haste. There are plenty of finishing schools around.
Please, for your own good, for Freddie’s sake and for your future involvement with the Bourne family, do something as soon as possible.
Here are a few examples of your lack of manners:
When you are a guest in another’s house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat – unless you are positively allergic to something. You do not remark that you do not have enough food. You do not start before everyone else. You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host. When a guest in another’s house, you do not lie in bed until late morning in households that rise early – you fall in line with house norms. You should never ever insult the family you are about to join at any time and most definitely not in public. I gather you passed this off as a joke but the reaction in the pub was one of shock, not laughter. You should have hand-written a card to me. You have never written to thank me when you have stayed. You regularly draw attention to yourself. Perhaps you should ask yourself why. No one gets married in a castle unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behaviour. I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over the years for their daughters’ marriages.)
If this is the case, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.
CommentAuthorNailed
or stuck up cow lol!
Lou x
Start Weight - 17stone 2lb (5/6/11)
CommentAuthorjodie b
oh my god!!! was this actually said??? how rude!!! x
CommentAuthorJoey
haha what a lovely woman. Stuck up moo!
CommentAuthorButterflyDreamer
OMG she needs a smack in the face .... rude, stuck up insulting cow! grrrrrr
I can't believe she said this. I hope he son wrote back to her
Mother,
Would you be so kind as to fuck off, please.
Your highly embarrassed son
Freddie
CommentAuthorKayteeG
What a positively revolting woman! Poor girl must feel like poo!
CommentAuthormadison_uk
so glad im not marrying into that family, can you imagine the fallout to that email
CommentAuthorVintageChic
omg I'm sorry but that was just so out of line that it was hilarious!!!!!
i really feel for the poor girl marrying into that family
"Who, being loved, is poor?" -Oscar Wilde
- Moderator
CommentAuthorVintageChic
also i wonder how she has reacted to it being all over the news HAHAHA
"Who, being loved, is poor?" -Oscar Wilde
- Moderator
CommentAuthorVintageChic
and omg also just read that it's her STEP son. stupid moo she has no right to interfere in that way tbh
"Who, being loved, is poor?" -Oscar Wilde
- Moderator
CommentAuthor~ஜ~Tiggs Daltry~ஜ~
id slap the obnoxious cow,glenns step mum tried getting her own way,but it didnt work with me!!
CommentAuthorLittle Kettle
@mandyhoyle - yes, but only if it's a handwritten note in a card LOL!!!
Poor, poor girly. Makes you really grateful for what you have, eh girls?!
Vegas baby!
Moderator
CommentAuthorVintageChic
debatable heather lol
"Who, being loved, is poor?" -Oscar Wilde
- Moderator
CommentAuthorMrsowen2b
OH MY GOD!!! thats shocking i would be extremely angry if i had her as a MIL2B that is just stuck up and snobby!
CommentAuthorLittle Kettle
edited
She'd be another 'uninvited' on my list, that's for sure!
Vegas baby!
Moderator
CommentAuthorKaya
Loose women are talking about this after the break!
Now Mrs Cobb!!!!!! :-D
CommentAuthortimpson123
@HeatherG Ha ha ha well naturally of course.
CommentAuthorLiz3yy
OH MY GOD............is this woman for real? who does she think is the Queen?! I would tell her to shove it personally.
Can't wait until the day I become Mrs. Johnson :)
CommentAuthorJill
lol ahhh bless - this mil seems to think she's living in 1920... I'm surprised one knew how to type ones own email lol It's so rude it's funny!
Something tells me 'Freddie' has been doing a power of moaning about the wifey to be when she's not there x
29th September 2012
Cant wait to be Mrs D!
CommentAuthortimpson123
I also find it satisfying that now this is public, she is the one who has disgraced the family.
CommentAuthorAnnette
hahaha, this soooo reminds me of my aunt in London, she's AWFULLY posh lol! Luckily she's not that snobby though! She smokes and swears all the time hehe. But oh my god, if I got something like that I'd be writing a pretty sarcastic snotty letter in return!! Wish I had a tv to watch loose women for once lol!
Breathe in, breathe out...
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
i have to say i agree with some of what she has said .....
How one should one react when you have a mother in law from hell, So glad the tables have turned and its the STEP Mother in Law from hell getting the flack and disgust from the world
Maybe one should start an Etiquette guide on UkBride so one knows how to do please ones future family,
General social and dining etiquette rules:
Follow whatever dress code is requested on the invitation or suggested by the host/hostess.
Arrive at least 10 minutes early unless otherwise specified. Never arrive late!
It is proper to bring a small hostess gift, one that the hostess is not obliged to use that very evening. Gifts such as flowers, candy, wine, or dessert, are not good hostess gifts, as the hostess will feel that it must put it out immediately. You must not never expect your gift to be served at the dinner party.
At a dinner party, wait for the host or hostess sits down before taking your seat. If the host/hostess asks you to sit, then do. At a very formal dinner party, if there are no name cards at the table, wait until the host indicates where you should sit. The seating will typically be man-woman-man-woman with the women seated to the right of the men.
A prayer or 'blessing' may be customary in some households. The dinner guests may join in or be respectfully silent. Most prayers are made by the host before the meal is eaten.
Sometimes a toast is offered instead of a prayer. Always join in with a toast. If the host stands up during the toast, also stand up.
Serving tea or coffee signifies that the formal part of the evening is over. Guests may now feel free to leave, or linger if the host or hostess encourages them to do so.
After a formal dinner party, a thank you note should be sent to the hostess.
OMG stuck up life, Im so glad Im not a stuck up toff
One day there was a ugly duckling.........
14th August 2011
This ugly duckling will become a swan :-)
CommentAuthorKatie
That is shocking but I hate to say I also agree with some of it. Manners cost nothing xxx
Those who mind dont matter
Those who matter dont mind
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
edited
Im sorry sohpie but having good manners doent make you stuck up
Yeah maybe I'm showing my age, but some of the stuff she's put in that is just being polite. I mean yeah, she's in the dark ages from the point about the hand written card onwards, but the stuff before that about abiding by the way other people live in their own houses, and not insulting them in public and making a joke of it, that's just good manners....
"Of course I'm not wedding obsessed!!"
CommentAuthorAbbi
That's hilarious!!! I kind of agree with a lot of it though!
CommentAuthor~ஜ~Tiggs Daltry~ஜ~
manners cost nothing,please and thank you are the first words my children learned,my "concern" was maybe she has a point,ok every bride wants the perfect wedding,but shouldnt it reflect you,not be rein-acting something your not
CommentAuthorSophie Sherwood to b
agreed Faeth
Lala - Being Stuck up and living in the dark ages is one thing, But what this MIL is demanding, is STUCK up and beyond belief really
Yes Manners are VERY important, and I live my life by them and expect them back, but would i email or write to someone saying how rude they been? I don't think so, It cannot be retracted once it has been sent / delivered
Remember we live in the 21st century not the early 20th century, But if we go further back to Ape men and the like, eating food with our hands was the norm, Im not suggesting we go back to the Ape men ages btw
Etiquette and good manners should like everything else move with the times, Now its expected that a GOOD host will know what their guests do and dont like, Well if the TV show Come dine with me is right !
Then again, I would Love to be on Ladette to Lady, I do feel I have a few flaws that need ironing out lol x
One day there was a ugly duckling.........
14th August 2011
This ugly duckling will become a swan :-)
CommentAuthorJoey
I just think she rude! having manners costs nothing, I agree but saying she is above her station or what ever she said is bit@@hy and that is bad manners and disrespectful. There is nothing wrong with having a lay in when you stay round your boyfriends house. Maybe she was up and he wasnt so she felt uncomfortable going downstairs with the witch??? There is also nothing wrong with having a lovely wedding that you have always dreamt of. If that what both of them want then SHE should tow the line! I agree with saying thank you and eating what is in front of you and being polite about it as that is not nice. But this woman needs to come out of the dark ages, just because you dont eat your greens doesnt make you a laddette? (I eat my greens btw)
ahhh I feel better now......
CommentAuthorClareS
I agree that people should be polite and look to go with house rules etc but they way she has gone about this and attacked her so nastily she deserves a slap! Wonder what will be in the speeches at the wedding
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
May be it is my age and how i was brought up but i would never go to stay somewhere with out taking a gift .... I wouldnt comment on the amount of food i had on my plate I would never ever insult the family you are about to join in public I would most definatly send a card to say thank you for the hospitality when i had stayed.
if it was a stranger or a dinner party I would agree but the way she talks is that they have been together for a while and she has stayed a lot. Modern couples always stay round each others house. If it is a regular occurrence, like every weekend, is she expected to bring a gift every time? if so when does she stop being a guest and part of the family?
i am so lucky to have janet as my mother in law to be! ok she does sometimes want things her way and is a clean freak which annoys me sometimes (mainly when ry saays im messy) im not messy i just dont have to have everything in its place! and as for manners yes there are manners and politeness but that woman ifd i had received that email i would be telling her where to go!!! x poor bride having to put up with that!
i cannot wait to marry my best friend
i love you ry!!!
engaged midnight 2009
Mrs Ryan Sheader (to be) lol :D
CommentAuthorlovelylainee
to be fair freddie sounds a toff with a stupidly posh mother. I wouldn't want to marry into a family liek that or put up with that attitude unless i was a gold digging ho bag lol!
Well good luck to the three of them - whoever she is has her work cut out with the monster in law! x
I married the love of my life 23/06/2012
Our little boys are so cute!
CommentAuthorGriff
don't the number of social mines there are its a nightmare I'm so glad my mum understands I don't want my wedding to be formal! This is the kind of expectations you have to fit into when you get get married at a high snobbery type of family (class doesn't necisserily amount to much though) xx
CommentAuthorJoey
hahahah well I best start saving up for finishing school then hahaha
CommentAuthorSophie Sherwood to b
lol Joey, I think I will be joining you, I wondered why i get strange looks when i scratch my rear end
Sorry I disagree with you Lala, You do not need to be married to be part of a family, You are apart of a family once you are accepted within its fold, And I am so happy that I have a MIL who is sweet but firm, but then again, she is only 7 years older than me lol
If I had a MIL like this STEP TOFF, Well I would of told her to get out of the dark ages and not act above her station, unless she is from royal blood which i doubt
One day there was a ugly duckling.........
14th August 2011
This ugly duckling will become a swan :-)
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
All i am saying that whe you have someone who has been brought up in that way they dont see anyone as a family meneber untill they are married, they way you are brought up does have a huge impact on the level of behaviour you expect from others ...and i dont think that is being a "toff" Mr lala and i have been together 9 years but if i was staying with his parents i would even consider still being in bed at lunchtime ..i do think that is bad mannered. Equally if my daughter and her bf were staying in my house i wouldnt expect that of him ......
I agree Lala when you are a guest you follow their rules and if they get up at 8 then so do you unless they tell you otherwise. I would never ever comment on portion amounts and if I didnt like what I was given then I would eat as much as I could then tell them I was full. Its just courtesy to your host. I go to my MIL2Bs and I wouldnt dream of going empty handed its just not the done thing.
xxx
Those who mind dont matter
Those who matter dont mind
CommentAuthorKat
I actually agree with a lot of what she said. However I do find the manner of the email rude. It would've been more polite in my book to speak face to face
CommentAuthor~ஜ~Tiggs Daltry~ஜ~
lol it was just on 5 news
CommentAuthormadison_uk
I can understand some of her rants but i think she could off worded it better and even spoken to her herself instead of hiding behind an email. i think it all depends on how your own personal families have taught you manor wise, if i go anywhere i send a thank you note, like if im given a present i send a thank you. i get up with the household if i stay there and if they get up early so do i, i fall into the family routine. And ive always be told to Finnish my plate regardless if i don't like it as its bad manners not to.
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
i wonder who it was that sent it to the papers ????
Well if it was the daughter in law to be who sent it to the papers I definitely think the MIL has cause to call her bad mannered
CommentAuthorHappilymarried Mrs G
I can understand some of what she is saying, some of the things do seem to be very bad manners when staying in someones home..... however how she handled it and mixed it with utterly ridiculous "points" totally muddies the water of the few more justified points. Disgusting behaviour, I would love to read a reply / fallout from that.
CommentAuthorJoey
The daughter in law sent it to a couple of friends, who sent it to friends who posted it on a forum and then the press got hold of it. The MIL is getting a lot of stick for it but so is the girl. Shes not from a poor back ground so I think this woman is just a bit stuck up and thinks shes above her station. She shouldnt have bad mouthed her MIL2B in public though, thats just stupid. There much better ways to get back at them :)
CommentAuthorJill
Kat I agree with you - some of her points are valid but the way they're put across are shocking... she's obviously got caught up in the heat of the moment (on an email lol) and turned into a catty coo!
Re taking a gift, I suppose it depends on how often you're likely to be there. When h2b and I were first living together, we used to go to his mums on a Sunday for dinner and I'd take a wee something. Now, I'm in and out of their house all the time and I wouldnt take anything with me, but I'd still take my gran a wee something when I go to visit her, or if visiting any other relative that I dont see on a regular basis.
Regarding the food part, I'd never comment on it unless to say how much I was enjoying it. H2b and I are still quite polite to each other in that way too - he'll never say he doesnt enjoy what I've made, just next time I suggest it he'll 'not fancy it' and it took me an age to say I couldnt stomach his chicken strog lol it is rude to criticise a meal that someone's gone to the trouble of making you. I've heard my (normally very polite) FIL2B sit in front of a table of people and say how the meats tough or the potatoes are hard in the middle, that's 40 odd years of marriage for you I suppose! x
