I really need to let off steam. I hate my in laws to be!!!!!!!! I just had my daughter in october and i didnt really see much of them before i had her as we live about 15miles away from each other but now ive had her H2B wants to go round and see them all the time so they can see my daughter. Im sick of seeing them and his mother keeps saying to my daughter everytime she sneezes or coughs "awwww was that sore" or "awww thats a sore one" i just really want to scream and say its not bl**dy sore it normal!!!! but if i do then im the bad guy. His dad when he hold my daughter doesnt even talk to her just holds her and looks at her. How would he like it if someone just stared at him! Then his sister wont even hold her as she just thinkss she'll cry? HELLO SHES A BABY!!!!!
I never really got on with my sister in law 2b before and dont think much of her now. She kinda took away our moment when we told her that we were engaged cos her friend got engaged the same time and then when we told her she was going to be an auntie she just said that she was already an auntie to her friends baby! My H2B wasnt happy with that. I dont think shes all that happy with us getting married. A couple of months before H2B proposed we had a heart to heart one night over a few bottles of wine and she ended up telling me that she could get rid of me as she was very close to my H2B. I couldnt believe my ears. I would never make him choose between me and her as i know i would loose him but id never even put that to him but i think she would of.
Ok i think ive let off some steam now XxX
Started losing weight last year 22/1/11 - 13 Stone 12 pounds
Lost this week 2lbs ;0)
Weighs as of 29/9/12 10 stone 12 lbs
CommentAuthorXLittleMissMe!X
You marry your h2b not his family. The thing is if you fight them and kick off you look the bad one so there isn't much you can do other than limit the time you spend with them. Could the h2b take her without you? At least then you don't have to spend so much time with them. Either that or tell him how you feel so you can work something out between you. More than likely as the months go on the thought of going to see his parents will wear off on him too.
CommentAuthorpanther_87k
why not set a cetain amount of visits to theirs per month or something, we currently visit my parents every sunday, but h2b gets on well with my parents so its not a problem. or every other visit let your h2b go without you, you can have a break from baby then too, we all need a little me time now and again. its not worthwhile kicking off because its unlikely to get you anywhere good xx
CommentAuthorSoon2beMrsHall
WHAT! I cant believe she thinks you daughter coughing or sneezing hurts her. Why would it. Did her kids never cough or sneeze when they were babys. As for the dad maybe he is scared of her ( i know sounds stupid) but martyn wont hold our nephew and when he just gets handed him he just looks at him and doesnt really move or breathe. I asked why and he said it is because he is scared he is going to hurt or drop him. As for the sister tell her she is stupid for thinking that she can split you and your h2b up you love him he loves you end off. Tell her she needs to grow up
Cant wait to to marry Martyn
Wishes the wedding would come faster
XxX
CommentAuthorClarabella
My baby is only 3 months old and is breastfed so i have to be super organised to express heaps of milk so i dont have to go with them to visit his parents but he knows that his sis and me dont really get on but were civil to one another when we see each other. His mum has Alzheimer's so if i do end up cracking up then im going to look even worse and ive even mentioned before to him what his mum says and he's said hes told her brfore that it doesnt hurt her but she forgets.
I feel really bad as well that i dont get on with them as he really like my family???? Dont know why lol
Started losing weight last year 22/1/11 - 13 Stone 12 pounds
Lost this week 2lbs ;0)
Weighs as of 29/9/12 10 stone 12 lbs
Thanks Mrs Hall2b. His mum and dad are really quiet as well so that prob doesnt help much as i havent really got to know them very well.
Started losing weight last year 22/1/11 - 13 Stone 12 pounds
Lost this week 2lbs ;0)
Weighs as of 29/9/12 10 stone 12 lbs
CommentAuthorGemmagem1987
Sounds like she's picking fault with you and how your raising your kids to try and show that she's the boss, obviously she's not, mums are extremely protective over there "little boys" I thinks its disgusting that you are made to feel this way, you should just mention it to your H2B, im sure he would understand huni. As for the SIL she's an absolute disgrace, I don't even know where to begin.....
Try and rise above it, u'll come out the bigger person in the end hun xxxxx
Soon 2b Mrs Wynne
02/07/2011
xxxxx
CommentAuthorClarabella
Thanks gemmagem1987. I guess its his family and i just have to bite my tounge and put up with it.
Started losing weight last year 22/1/11 - 13 Stone 12 pounds
Lost this week 2lbs ;0)
Weighs as of 29/9/12 10 stone 12 lbs
CommentAuthorGemmagem1987
Its hard I know but just try telling your H2B how you feel he might understand, hope you get stuff sorted xx
Soon 2b Mrs Wynne
02/07/2011
xxxxx
CommentAuthor'ca'ca'ca
is his sister 12? 15 maybe? if she really thinks she can split you up shes delusional and needs a slep. what a cow. Tell her she can stuff it; if shes already an auntie she doesnt need to be involved in the life of your baby does she? stupid bitch.
as for mil; not a lot you can do, except just be confident. dont ever ask her for help/advice as she'll see it as a sign of weakness. I hate women like her.
Have you tried talking to h2b? maybe he knows how to deal with this? mightve happened before/similar and he might have ways and means
Good luck & hope it all gets sorted for you <3 x
CommentAuthorgreyarea
There are some things that really grate on me about my mil but i just grit my teeth and get on with it and ive found that she has a lot of benifits as well as faults and love her company now
as for the sister she needs to grow up if i were a nasty person which im not i would spike her drink with laxatives lol but i wouldnt
CommentAuthorClarabella
Hmmm greyarea that sounds like a good idea for my wedding day spiking her drink then i wouldnt see her all day hehe.
Cacaca she's actually 8 months older than me but loves telling everyone that she looks younger than me cos her mum has said that. HELLO ive had a baby so dont really get alot of time to spend on me and with the last year ive been getting bigger cos i was pregnant so couldnt fit into my clothes and now ive got to slim down to fit into them again. At xmas i got the awful top from his mum and dad at a size 16!!!! Hmmm im a 12 or 14 on top!!!! When i unwrapped it and seen it i thought it was horrible so told my h2b which was fine then i was a bit miffed when i seen the size. Im guessing his sister had something to do with the size cos his parents surely wouldnt of guessed that size.
It sounds mean but im glad when any of them have my daughter and she wont settle but comes to me and settles straight away it makes me feel better or if i tell them whats the matter with her like shes hungry or tired. Shes my little girl. I know whats the matter with her i spend the most time with her.
Started losing weight last year 22/1/11 - 13 Stone 12 pounds
Lost this week 2lbs ;0)
Weighs as of 29/9/12 10 stone 12 lbs
CommentAuthortoni400
deep breath count to 10!! rise above it honey xx
CommentAuthorXLittleMissMe!X
I think that one or two things have grated on you so everything they now do is rubbing you up the wrong way. From what I have read (I know there may be more to it than what is on here) but so far they have brought you a Christmas pressie that wasn't to your taste and was the wrong size. First of all it was a nice gesture for them to want to buy you something. Ok you don't like it but they probably thought that you would. As for sizing I wouldn't be that good at it either and its a hard thing to do. I don't think they meant it as an insult to you but it does sound like you have taken it personally.
If the mum has alzheimer's then that could be part of why she is doing strange things. As long as she isn't directly harming your daughter then I would try and let things rise above you. The dad might not be a baby person. Some people don't know what to do with a baby. Maybe show him and encourage him to interact with her?
I know this isn't all down to you but if it is winding you up then if you either change the way you think or try and show them another way it may help you to not get so wound up with things. It doesn't sound like the parents are deliberately being nasty to you just that you have a clash of ways.
CommentAuthorClarabella
Hmm prob but if they wasnt sure on my size then they could of asked my h2b what my size is. I do think its really sweet of them to buy me something as i dont expect anything but before they have always given me gift vouchers so i was looking forward to getting them.
His mum remembers things really well from when h2b and his sis was little no bother but is finding it hard to remember recent things so when you tell her its not hurting her then she doesnt remember. H2B has been talking about me going back to work and has suggested that we leave my daughter at theirs for a few hours but im not comfortable with that and ive told him that. Im not sure if his dad could handle looking after his wife as well as his granddaughter. I think he doesnt really talk to her cos he's a quiet man so its out of his comfort zone to make stupid noises at her and talk to her but when she's been crying on him we've tried to show him ways to comfort her but he just looks so uncomfortable with her. I dont think its that hes not a baby person cos hes happy enough to take her but when he does have her he just doesnt know what to do with her. Maybe that will change once shes older.
I just think the less i see of them the less they will wind me up. My family is the complete opposite to his so thats probably why i dont like going round there. On xmas day his family was all sitting in the family room just watching tv (not my idea of fun) but when we went round to see my family they were all up playing games and dancing to a game on the wii plus my family is loud so im just not used to the bordom of theirs. His sister even said it was a good laugh on xmas day!!!! I just thought hmmm when maybe i was sleeping when that happened hehe
Started losing weight last year 22/1/11 - 13 Stone 12 pounds
Lost this week 2lbs ;0)
Weighs as of 29/9/12 10 stone 12 lbs
CommentAuthorXLittleMissMe!X
I think you can suggest to you h2b that its not fair on the grandparents to have the pressure of having a small child on their own at their age. Not that they don't know how to look after a baby but it isn't fair on them to have to chase around after a young one and be bending over changing nappies etc when they should be relaxing more. They have had their time of looking after kids etc and should be able to have the joys of being grandparents without having to play the parent role.
Alzheimer's is a nasty thing to have. My God mothers mum has it and your right it is frustrating. I think you just have to remind yourself all the time that they are ill. Its sounds like you are used to one way of family life and they are not how you see a family should function but everyone is different. You just have to accept that they are never going to be the way your family are and that its nothing personal to you and keep taking deep breaths. Really feel for you x x
CommentAuthorloubyscooby
Its difficult when two familys are so different - his quieter and yours up for the party but I think you need to stop, breathe and look at this from afar. As Jo said you did get something so they tried, maybe they could have asked H2B for your size but they didnt. Your MIL2B will remember times from long ago - welcome to Alzheimer's - thats part of the condition.. they clearly remember tiny details from years ago but sometimes can't remember if they hve had breakfast. Why not try to talk to her about the stuff your H2B did when he was a baby and compare that to your daughter, plus they also sometimes get fixated on a phrase or word so perhaps she doesnt really mean a sneeze hurts her but my Mum always said to her grandkids "cough it up" whenever they sneezed etc ; thats just her way. Youe FIL2B may be a little worried about holding a small baby (esp if he is older) but he may also be feeling overwhelmed by his wife's condition or maybe a little depressed - he is watching his wife slowly disappear and to look after someone like that is tiresome. Re your SIL - Your SIL2B does she live with your inlaws? Does she have a partner? I think you should talk to your hubby about your concerns but please dont stop seeing them or stop them seeing your daughter. There is usually more to stuff but it is only for a few hours a week - smile and when you leave stop in a field and scream if you need to. sorry for such a long reply
CommentAuthorClarabella
Thanks for that reply loubyscooby i think your prob right. Id never stop them seeing my daughter as i think my family is so important to me and i want my MIL2B to see her and remember her before she gets really bad and i know my h2b really wants that as well.
My SIL2B does still live with her parents for just now and has a partner also
Started losing weight last year 22/1/11 - 13 Stone 12 pounds
Lost this week 2lbs ;0)
Weighs as of 29/9/12 10 stone 12 lbs
CommentAuthorloubyscooby
Perhaps she too is feeling the pressure, I just hope it gets better soon
Perhaps she too is feeling the pressure, I just hope it gets better soon
