well last night my friend was throwing a surprise birthday for her bf's 30th- so me and h2b booked the night off about a month ago. then last night he said he didn't want to go- or exact words 'its not at the top of my to do list', i was angry and ended up driving because it would have cost a lot in taxis just to go by myself- i didn't know anyone there really- until my friend and her bf showed up, so was stood at the bar most of the night by myself (feeling very sorry for myself)- i found out h2b then went out with his friends, he text me asking me to go and meet them- to which i replied that seeing his friends was not at the top of my to do list-HA! i feel very hurt as i have made his friends my friends in the 5 years we have been together, but he never makes an effort with mine :0(. he has a big group of friends that he grew up with and i love them all and always go out with the girls, but because i didn't grow up here iv made friends in places i work and so no i don't have as many friends or a big circle that always get together. iv tried explaining to him that he needs to make an effort or ill be introducing him to people at the wedding which is not right! i just needed to get this off my chest as we are still not speaking- i left all his stuff in the lounge and locked myself in the bedroom, i was so angry i didn't want to speak to him- now the problem is we are both so stubborn who talks first! ;o(
CommentAuthorx ashlil x
i would be pretty pi**ed off as well hun. i think thats pretty selfish but all you can do is sit down and talk to him x
CommentAuthorTrish Goddard
Well i think its a case that every couple will have their OWN circle of friends... but you still need to TRY to get you h2b to meet your friends... it wont be nice for him to meet them on your wedding day..
I have ONE really close best friend, and the rest are more aquentances rather than friends, but my h2b dont like my best friend.. but he has agreed to try to get along with her for my sake, now they seem to be getting along great.
Maybe suggest that they come round to your house while hes there so that he feels a little more relaxed in his own home...
i understand why your angry tho hun.
CommentAuthorButterflyDreamer
Same as above hun i'd be bloomin' Fuming! You do need to sit down and talk when you have bot calmed down a bit. hope you manage to sort it out :D xx
CommentAuthorMel D
I have to say I'd be furious at him!
It is really selfish of him ... be the bigger person and talk to him first, explain how you're feeling - he should understand.
xx
Got married Sat 28/05/2011
Renewing vows Sat 29/05/2021
We're planning WELL in advance!!
oh dear...........at least you've got 14months to resolve this arguement..... sowwie couldnt help myself. just somet me n my h2b do n it makes me giggle thinkin about it after the arguments over........
if ur feeling stubborn n dont wanna talk 1st write him a small letter explaining how u feel......he's gotta read it,he cant interupt or argue bk, n ya not really the 1st 1 to talk therefore he wont take it as a sign that ur sayin he's right.... thats what i do.... i think its only fair to expect him to make the effort...i have same thing with my h2b with family,
it must be a male thing......just remember u love him n at the end of any arguments n fall outs tahst situation still remains the same, am sure ul sort it out. x x x
6 n a half weeks scan!!!!!! x x x
CommentAuthorrebeccalou21
lol i know i love him and we will get over this but i just wanted to express how extremely peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed off i am at the situation- i feel better for saying it on here
CommentAuthorsuzky123
he should have gone with you. You are right to be annoyed.
cant wait to be Mrs Evans less than 3 weeks woooo
start weight 10st 1.5 lbs
weight now 8st 4.5 lbs
total loss to date: 24.5 lbs now need to maintain!
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
rebecca i wud be fumin!!!! how dare he not go wiv u to a 30th bday partu ure best mates chap!!! its ridiculous! u need to tell him how he has let u down.... i wud even go as far as this needs to change b4 we get wed!! thats not rite at all
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorJilly17
oh now that is bad! Absolutely no excuse for that one, I would be stotting. Glad you feel better for venting though!
Since our engagement we have had a stream of people coming to the house. We both agreed that neither of us would be introducing people to each other at the wedding. I have loads of girl friends and we generally just do stuff together so none of the boys know each other really so we are asking people over so everyone can meet each other otherwise why bother inviting them as they would just feel uncomfortable too. Give him a kick!!! ha ha x
CommentAuthorRags
Awww, honey. I'm stubborn but it is my moto to not go to bed on an argument. Fortunately me & h2b are both non arguers. So in all the time we have been together, I can't remember a time when we've had a fight, theres been a couple of times when I have grated him, and him me, but at these times I keep up the hump until before I go to bed so that I still love him in the morning :)
Hope you 2 can work it out, it's important in a relationship to have us time, friend time and us and friend time. How can you tell him about what happened when you were with suzy if he keeps asking who suzy is??
These are my friends and they are important to me, so it is important to me that you the love of my life spend time with them with me, they are what makes me me. So get used to it :)
I'm now a married woman
I have a gorgeous husband
Whats to do now
Theres no more wedding planning to do
CommentAuthorJill
I had a similar problem about 3 years ago... I'd met all of H2B's friends, we were going to one of my close friends engagement party and he was going to be meeting a few of my friends for the first time there. I'd been working in the afternoon and found out at 3:30 that he was already absolutely steaming! Rage doesnt come close... I got to his (not living together then) to find him lying in a drunken stupor on the couch and gave him dogs abuse. The good news is we laugh about it now and he'd ended up coming to the engagement party with the onset of a hangover.. karma's a b***h lol
There's just no need is there... he should have went, end of story. He needs to understand it's just as important for him to make an effort with your friends as it is for you to make the effort with his x
29th September 2012
Cant wait to be Mrs D!
CommentAuthorrebeccalou21
thanks ladies, it helps knowing that others would be angry too lol
CommentAuthorRachie :D
My ex was like that although he want to the point if being so rude people turned against me. If rich ever did it to me i'd kick his butt - just tell him your hurt and he was out of line
9th June 2012 when two worlds collide
The Crazy Cat Lady and the Transformer Man!
CommentAuthorMagicFairies
I know how you feel. I always have this problem with h2b. i'm going out tonight, he's going out tonight, but we're not going out together. I can completely see why you are angry, especially as you'd already agreed what you were doing, and he just sort of dropped out last minute! My h2b wouldn't see what the problem was, i think most guys would have trouble, reading about what other have said about their oh's! My H2b and i have come to a sort of compromise: because he really doesn't like noisy parties and i think he find my friends a bit intimidating and i don't like to sit around with his friends playing on the playstation and talking about their cars. So we're ok to do our own thing once in a while. As long as we make the effort to do what the other wants every now and again. I know your h2b is probably not as much of a geek as mine, but similar idea! As long as he knows that sometimes he'll have to do things with your friends too! Good luck xxx
CommentAuthorMrs Steer
i would also be very angry xx
Is now happily married to my gorgeous man
11-06-11
CommentAuthorEcoFreak
I'd be fuming - not just because he bailed on an event, but because he then went out with his friends! If my fiance did that i'd have to talk to him, even if he doesn't want to come out with my friends all the time, he should make an effort for booked events :) xx
CommentAuthorTotallyLovedUp
agree! to say that he didnt want to go to your friends fellas party even after arranging it was bad enough but then to go out with his own friends then ask you to go join him too?! nope no on at all! write him a letter telling him how upset and let down you feel! grrr MEN dont get me started today lol
CommentAuthorVicky
that is a bit naughty of him, especially to go out
CommentAuthorx ashlil x
have you sorted things yet rebecca?? x
CommentAuthorrebeccalou21
No nothing sorted out yet, I don't think I should have to ask for an apology he knows he upset me! X
CommentAuthorUnknown
he is completly in the wrong. my h2b wouldnt do that as he knows i wouldnt put up with it! i think you really need to explain to him that it isnt on so he doesnt do it again! xx
CommentAuthorrebeccalou21
hmmm well its day 3 of completely not talking- see both as stubborn and as childish as each other- we both just seem to be getting on with things and just not talking- which is even more difficult as we work together! not talking and having this time to think is just making me think of the other times he has done it- like my brothers birthday, no he had to go help his friend sort out his washing machine- and my mums party in June which he will now be away for. I know it is not on and i am still upset. we argue every now and then so i know this will be resolved eventually (im not afraid that this is the end or anything because i know its just something we need to work out)- Have been ranting at work and to friends too lol, everybody seems to think iots out of order so im hoping its just a matter of time before he realizes lol
CommentAuthorFaeth
edited
LOL I'm sorry for this bit of silliness, but I just had this mental image of neither of you speaking to each other by the wedding, and having your answers at the ceremony relayed by your MoH and Best Man - you to MoH "Tell him, I do..", him to Best man "Tell her, I do...."
"Of course I'm not wedding obsessed!!"
CommentAuthorVicky
Has he apolgised yet Rebbecca?? He should have
CommentAuthorrebeccalou21
haha faeth i have been joking too- do you take this man... 'well is he sorry?' lol, nope no apology yet!
