Dont really know why im writing this, just kind of need to talk...even if it ends up being to myself... I really dont know if I can commit myself (marriage) to my other half...dont get me wrong I love him...its just I sometimes wonder how he feels. He's not one for showing emotion, or completing me. Since he moved in 6 months ago I do the lion share of everything, I work all day get up with our little girl, get her ready for bed, do dinner , do the washing up...I do everything...I was really poorly and in hospital a few weeks ago and I can home to what can only be described as a bombsite which just showed me if i wasnt doing everything nothing would get done... I dont feel attractive at all to my partner and sometimes really question why he is with me at all... im just so scared that this is it, this is what my life will be for the next 40/50 years...and im terrified.
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
awww big hugs!! u need to sit him down and tell him wats wat... doi a 'jobs' chart i do everythign at mo cos i work 27 hours he does more 60 wiv no kids but will change wiv kids etc
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorMariephiz
Oh no, how long have you been together? Have you spoken to him about housework etc and him pulling his weight? I'm really sorry you feel this way, but its definitely better to let it out than keep it in and worry even more. big hugs xx
CommentAuthorRachie :D
You need to show him this - you need to talk to him - I had a fw teething problems with rich tbh - we had a 4 hr chat and we now share everything
Lots of love xxx
9th June 2012 when two worlds collide
The Crazy Cat Lady and the Transformer Man!
CommentAuthorAvril
you need to talk to him. maybe you should hold on and both feel happy before you move onto marriage. you both need to be happy :-) x
Aw sweetie I agree with the other girls have a chat with him. Try and get things sorted sooner rather than later or you will end up resenting him and your life.
xxx
Those who mind dont matter
Those who matter dont mind
CommentAuthorlil miss sunshine
like the other girls have said you need to talk to him and sought things out sooner rather than later
and now the next chapter
CommentAuthormegs
thanks girls....i guess im letting things get on top of me...massive amount of work load/housework/kids stuff/health stuff going on...im just not really feeling human at the mo..like im running on empty we've been toghter so long its kind of got into a little routine thanks for listening xx
CommentAuthorJilly17
bless! It sounds like the routine you have fallen into is the problem but it does not mean it cannot be changed if you both work at it. Talk to h2b and explain how you are feeling ....I am not suprised tyou feel this way tbh, no one likes to be taken for granted. Good luck! x
CommentAuthorbarbie86
You need to sit down and talk to him; if you both work the same hours, household chores should be divided equally; if you work fewer hours then divide them so you have slightly more housework than he does, or vice versa. It isn't fair that you're doing everything, and obviously this is stressing you out; it is really quite bad IMPO that he didn't even bother doing anything while you were in hospital.
You need to resolve this sooner rather than later; if he can't/won't compromise then I would question whether marriage is the right thing. I personally could not be with someone who didn't pull their weight, I expect a relationship to be on equal footing. I'll be working longer hours than my OH if I make it as a teacher during term-time, so I expect him to do more of the housework; when I'm off during the holidays I will do most of it. Relationships need to be about balance, esp now in the 21st century
CommentAuthorMariephiz
Hi Megs, have you had chance to talk to him yet? Do you feel any better? xx
CommentAuthorLiz3yy
Oh dear, the routine of daily life is starting to rear it's ugly head eh? things can't always be perfect and at times it will seem dull but that's the risk you take when you commit your life to someone. It can't always be sunny and lovely and like in the films.
I would talk to him about how you feel and tell him you need to do things equally, around the house and together. Things will be ok x
Can't wait until the day I become Mrs. Johnson :)
CommentAuthormegs
im not expecting it to be like the movies...trust me i know life isnt like that... to be honest with you marie..I dont know whats happened but I havent had to say anything to him at all, I dont know if he caught a look at this im not sure but the past few days he has been so helpful around the house without me having to ask, treated me to dinner and started to tell me how much he loved me and was sorry if it came across as anything else but he does really love me and cant wait to marry me... I think he was a bit shocked by my response..I just said well this is out of the blue, whats happened/wrong? He said that he just knows he doesnt help alot and doesnt really show me he loves/appreciates me and everything i do.. I said thats nice but helping around the house has to be a regular thing and not just when he thinks he's done something wrong.. I do feel better about it all now, I love him so much and after years of crap in my life I have met somebody who does make me happy and i really cant imagine spending my life with anybody else....guess im just getting my nagging wife preparations in :) xx
CommentAuthorMariephiz
Im pleased for you! obviously he was just having a lazy few weeks and suddenyl realised. Just make sure he doesnt slip back into old habits!
CommentAuthorclaireandpete
Would sit him down and tell him how your feeling, i have similar problem with my H2b and constantly plans with me being dropped for something he want to do. I exploded about it on Saturday, which when i calmed down we spoke about it and he said is is going to make more of an effort, and then did all the ironing and sat and watched a movie with me since he had ditched our plans for the weekend.
CommentAuthormegs
i dont know men eh? thanks marie...means alot i can come on here and talk about this kind of stuff... thanks girlies :) xxx
CommentAuthorUnknown
only just seen this. at least he is helping but make sure he keeps doing it. im guessing he saw this and was upset how how you feel and doesnt want to lose you as he does love you but just didnt reaslise how important these things were for you! xx
CommentAuthorLisa Ramos
My Mum's partner is very lazy and they are always arguing about this and it changes for a couple of days and then goes back to how it was. It's a good start and he just needs to continue to help you and show you how much he loves you.
