This is my first post here, so first of all, hi everyone!

I'm posting here as I want to know if anybody else has been through something similar or if they know anybody who has. I feel very alone in this and although I do have people to talk to, it's not just quite the same as speaking to someone who has been there, done that or who is also currently planning a wedding.

Here's the story: about two years ago I asked my best friend to be my maid of honour at my wedding and she accepted. She seemed excited about the wedding, she even told me she thought she felt more excited about it than I did. Unfortunately due to COVID me and my partner decided to postpone the wedding twice, but I believe the date we have it booked for now will go ahead. Fast forward to about a month ago, I discovered my MoH has blocked me on all social media and blocked my mobile number. I have taken this as an indication that she doesn't want to be MoH anymore and I feel it is the end of our friendship too, to be honest.

I did see some warning signs that things weren't quite right, but I never imagined this would happen. For instance, she was going to be my only bridesmaid (I called her MoH still because I felt she was worthy of that) and she was surprised by that when she found that out through general chat with me. It wasn't something I hid from her, I just didn't think it was relevant. We weren't the type of friends who were in constant contact, but we did contact each other about once a month and made efforts to meet up. We have been friends since secondary school and of course we are each living our own lives, but as far as I was aware she still felt the same way about me as I did of her. Now I look back on things I can see that maybe I was naive to think that. Also, I didn't do the things with her that perhaps she expected I would e.g. dress shopping. I did that with my Mum and my reasoning was that as my Mum doesn't drive and she lives some distance from me it was quite difficult for me to organise for us all to do that together and as my former MoH works unsociable hours I knew I couldn't ask her to get a Saturday off at short notice to go dress shopping with me. I'm now wondering if I should have tried to involve her in more things like that too.

Moving forward, I'm just trying to get on with my life and look ahead to the wedding which should happen next year. My fiance wants me to have other bridesmaids and we both have big families so I could, but my gut instinct is to not have any bridesmaids at all. His main concern is that I will feel unsupported on the big day and he's also worried it won't look right if he has best men and ushers and I have no one. I want him to have the day he deserves but on the other hand if something doesn't feel right, I don't think I should do it. Any thoughts?

Any replies or thoughts on anything I have just posted would be much appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read :)