As you all know from my previous post, me and the best man do not get on,at all. The bridesmaids are doing my trolley in. The mil and i keep having non wedding related arguements,my mum is in bloody portugal,with nothing but a one way ticket, my nan disagrees with my budget.my cousins think i look fat in my dress,bear in mind they r a size 6.yet another one of my partners friends thinks that im just a bleeeeeeep.im sick of evrything.sick of the arguements.sick of the stress.i am really debating wether to even get married or not. I love my man more than anything and wil spend my life with him no matter what but i dont know wether we shud just carry on as we are,or change the date to a much later date til evrything has changed,maybe 2014.or to keep the same date but just use all the money i have saved and elope like my brother did.he got married in vagas and had a party wen he got back.saved all the arguements.maybe im just avin a moan tho,im really thinking vagas could be a good idea. Orrrrr maritius!!!! On the beaaaach that would be wonderful. Wat do you all think x

16 months is a long time off yet so everything could have calmed down by then

i had people going on at me and all i kept saying was my way and if you dont like it dont come to the wedding and you might not even get an invite.

i thought about eloping but everything was already done by then

take a couple of weeks away from weddings and then sit down with h2b and work out exactly what you both want xx

I am also a family girl and love my in-laws but if this wouldn't be the case I'd totally elope - so much easier, more relaxed and stressfree. Do it if you really want it.

I'd forget the wedding for now, and just enjoy christmas, then sit down with h2b and have a long talk and see what you both want. And its you and h2bs day you do/have what yu want and whatever budget you want. If people don't like it then they don't have to come. x

thanks everyone, i am not much of a family person,i moved out at the age of 14 and just got on with it,lol, the family that i do want at my wedding cant come due to legal reasons or living in vietnam,therefore i have only put 4 members of my family on the list, and to be honest im not even sure if my mum would turn up.my nan and grandad are imobile so they wont be able to come. i am so frustrated, all my h2bs family are on the list and they are a very close network but i dont think any of them would mind if we eloped and just paid for a big party with an open bar and buffet wen we got back,that would sort all the wedding issues, to be honest it is still the best man issue that really gets to me and when my h2b realised he hadnt spoke to him in forever which i pointed out, he then started texting him like mad, to try and prove to himself that they are still best friends lmao its truely pathetic. i do love him but this is one issue that will never be resolved or comprimised no matter what i do.xx

I hope you get things sorted and decide what you would be happiest to do, I can completely sympathise about the best man thing, I think my partner will pick the one friend of his that I dont see eye to eye with, not to purposely get at me, just because they have been friends for so long, although I do keep pointing out to him that this friend hasn't bothered with him for a whole year and now all of a sudden trying to be in his back pocket constantly! Drives me nuts. Talk to him about the issues and worries you are having about your wedding and come to some sort of an agreement. Dont stress yourself out just before xmas, have a lovely time and see the new year in and pick it back up in the new year giving you & H2B time to think about what would make you both happy! : ) xx

ive been looking at spain and vagas, looks lovely, dont know what id need for a wedding in spain tho, whereas vagas is easy, all i need is mine and h2bs id and a wedding license! and then we could spend a week site seeing and maybe a naughty bet or two in vagas, would be quite nice x

I'm with feebee stuff em all, its about you and h2b not anyone else. We nearly did it but fortunately they all got the message when they thought they were'nt included and they backed off.

Gibraltar should be easy as it's under the British crown and I assume Commonwealth.

Sounds like Austria Ataraxia... It would have cost hundreds of pounds for h2b to get everything translated and takws forever. And I as an Austrian need to show more documents in Austria than here as a foreigner.
Though tillyturtle is getting married in Austria via Thomas Cook I think and they do everything for them.

So maybe ask Thomas Cook or the likes for easy wedding deals?

I haven't ever been to Gibraltar myself but I have heard lots of nice things about it! There are some wedding planning services that can give you advice and help you out with the paperwork etc but obv it does cost money. That's why we went for civil ceremony, blessing in Spain, it's just easier, we have no paperwork to translate and file here as its already done if you wed here... And there's no legal restrictions so we can have our outdoor mountain ceremony like we always wanted! Finding a place for us was quite simple, it's where we went for our first date!

I know the feeling of changing your mind all the time, I have changed mine a billion times and still have several months left to change it a few more haha.

Best thing is to sit down and imagine the day you want... If having a quick ceremony and then going on honeymoon right away is what you want, then that's what you should do. For our civil ceremony we are having a quick ceremony with a few family and friends, going for a meal and a little celebration afterwards and then next day we fly to Spain for our honeymoon and our blessing. There's nothing to say you can't be blessed while out in your honeymoon destination, requires no paperwork and officiant fees are cheaper for blessings! You could get a proper dress etc for the blessing if you wanted... Or stick with beach attire.

There are so many options haha!

you need to sit down with h2b and tlk to him, just incase he dosen't want to do any of those options, or you never know there might be one he really wants to do aswell. x

my h2b likes the idea of the registry and immediate honeymoon and party thing but is not too keen on marrying abroad as hes worried there will be problems.... and OMG!!!! UPDATE ON BEST MAN!!!!! today we went to visit h2bs niece to exchange gifts and we were disscussing the wedding and the best man topic came up, and i was having a litte rant about how i think hes a scumbag and she tells us that a year ago when she was 13! i repeat...13 years of age! he was hitting on her and telling her to come round to his house, she is a very attractive young girl but at 13 she should be well left alone by a 20year old male! then she added that he insisted she did not tell my h2b about this, h2b was soooo mad and i really hoped he would see sence but nooooo, as soon as we got in the car he was declaring his love for his friend and trying to justify it all, i am so mad at how oblivious he is about his 'best friend'

Gibraltar has some really beautiful spots, and there's a lovely hotel that does weddings. I wouldn't recommend a honeymoon there though, it's far too 'British'. It's like London with sunshine in the main square, as for resturant - a chip shoop, a sanwich bar, and a local pub. There's also very little to do there once you've explored the rock, the caves and the monkeys. Two days at most. It's also a large shipping port, with no real beach. That's coming from somebody that quite likes a visit there.

If you were looking at getting married in Gibraltar I'd recommend staying on mainland Spain (Tarife, Estopona, Puerto Banus, Marbella, Cadiz), from Malaga Airports it's just over an hours drive. If you stay just on the mainland and hire a car, you can also day trip to Morocco.

Best Man does not sound pleasant at all.

One day I want to go to Gibraltar just for the monkeys!

I know they have a terrible - but hilarious - reputation. Still so worth to be seen :-)

Just as an aside :) a blessing doesn't have to be religious. H2b and I aren't religious in the traditional sense, so we are just having nice vows and readings and having things that are meaningful as us. I suppose blessing is the wrong term, it's more like a humanist ceremony x