HE asked me to marry him. HE wanted to start planning the wedding. HE wanted to look around venues. Now its can you please stop talking about the wedding! (i only mention it once a week, maybe less) he says he is stressed about money etc but hasnt done a single thing to work out how many guests he wants to invite or who he can cut out etc etc. (my list is tiny his is huge) We signed up to go to a wedding show today. I asked him last night about it because i had forgotten and he said well no of course i dont want to go, I am going to be tired after working tonight and it is stressing me out thinking about the money (he knew what day it was on when we arranged to go)
i have said to him we can cancel the wedding for now and save etc or get married at a cheaper place/registry office etc but he said no we will get married at our chosen venueand at the date we chose. it is like i am getting mixed messages all the bl**dy time and I am getting really fed up with it and to be honest I cant actually see it happening right now. I am so stressed out, upset and fed up!

Aww hun dont worry... I had exactly the same situation with my H2B, he just didnt see the need to go to wedding fairs etc when the date was so far away so it was a whole year before he wanted to start actually discussing things. He also needed time to accept that you do actually need to spend money on a wedding. Like ashleigh said, maybe not mention it for a while but keep looking (and chatting to us about it). It just doesnt seem to be as exciting for a guy as it is for the b2b! x

26 months is like eon to a guy when it comes to weddings - hell 6 months is AAAAGES away for most of them. He probably can't understand why you need to talk about it at all yet - and that's what we are here for, so you can talk weddings to your heart's content..... I haven't yet persuaded mine to a wedding fair, not even one at our venue - I just go on my own, and get lots of leaflets and ideas.

It's probably just stress as you say - leave it for a month, he might even ask about stuff before then. I know you will need to work out numbers so that you know how much you need to save (and pick a venue that can hold the right number), but for now you can just make an effort to save as much as possible, and work on the guest list later - at least you have a starting point.

You're not alone with your h2b's reaction, I think many of us have seen similar from ours - don't panic xxxxx

have you done a proper budget and saving plan maybe if he can see the numbers layed out and how your going to pay for it all he will be less stressed about it.

i have tried emsy, but all i got was 5k max for the budget, inclusive. we have found a venue we both love, but when he found out how much it is he clammed up and went into stress mode and wont talk about it! have done an in depth budget myself which he looked at and was ok with and i even managed to have some left in the kitty, so it isnt like i havent tried to make it less stressful for him. He said when his shares are ready to cash in (he does a scheme with work) that can pay off a massive chunk of the venue. The rest of it apart from the really big things like the dress, dj etc need to be budgeted for etc which is fine, but i cant even mention ANYTHING wedding related! My mum said that her and my stepdad are going to help with paying for my dress and for my sisters bridesmaids dresses so thats going to save us a fair bit too.
As for the mixed signal thing, he was saying about going and buying the invites the other week, then when it came to it got weird and we didnt even so much as look for some. I hadnt mentioned invites at all, that was all him! It is like he wont allow himself to get excited about it.
We have been engaged coming up for 10 years lol it isnt like we got engaged a few months ag and it has suddenly gotten real for him! ohhhh i dont know i will just do what you all suggested. zip my lips and just let him come to me! Sorry about the moan I just really needed to get it ff my chest x

maybe its because you have a while to wait. My fella was like this because we had 2 years but I basically kept making appointments anyways and he soon really got in to it. He hates me going on and on but when there is actually something to do he will now get involved. Try and find him a job that he would like to do. Will he even sit down and do a budget as if hes worried about money he needs to know exactly where the two of you will stand

Mine is the same too, he hates talking about it, then he just kinda snapped one day and realised it was real, we are actually getting married, it is gonna cost us money, and we need to plan it! He was quiet about it for a while and I put that down to stress and worry, but he has come around to talking about some things. He doesn't need or want to know all the little details, but for big things like the venue etc, he wants a say, but takes his time to think things through and gets back to me - men are strange creatures :p Hopefully your H2B will open up a bit TLU, and you can begin to enjoy planning things together :) <3