Ok my fil's have gone away till friday and the fbil is house sitting for them.
He's phoned matt an hour ago and told him to get round there now!!!!!!
Basically his dad has been chatting to women on line which is fine but on fb there is a poker game thing that they are all on which has a chat thing in the cornor. Now this women logs on and starts chatting to the fil and he logs off 2 seconds later which again is fine internet connections and all but this has happened 3 days in a row she starts chatting he logs off, so a bit weird..........right???

ASnyway back to tonight matt has just got home and apparently his brother went on the computer and msm was loogged on still whith a message from the same women and to say its a bit full on is an understatement.
They both went through and theres loads of message that i cant repeat with ladies around and video's showing her around the in laws house and some others that in matts words 'shouldnt be on there and def not sent to her'
The reason im wrighting this is because i need your advice ladies matt doesnt know what to do and i dont know what to tell him, does he tell his mum and destroy her or try and get this women to back off by talking to her or tell his dad that they know????? (this is the man thats raised him and his 2 brothers from when his youngest brother was 4 weeks old).

I know what i would want someone to do for me but this is his mum and shes lovely and i dont want to be partly responsible for destroying her and his family :-(
help ladies what should i suggest he does??????

holy crap hails. It's a very difficult one but my opinion is have the men all talk together. The fact they know might be enough to hit it on the head. But whatever make sure Matt does what he thinks is right and that you support his decision even if you dont agree with it completely.

Oh and if it was me I would want to know the truth but I know that some women would be happy not knowing

Maybe he should have a word with his dad... kind of a 'if you don't tell her then I will' sort of thing because that's really unfair on his wife and I think it'll be much better coming out now than if she finds out down the line and you all having to live with knowing that you knew all along and didn't tell her... plus imagine if she found out that anyone knew and didn't tell her?

When you say that your FIL logs off chat as soon as she logs on, does it mean that he's now trying to avoid her or have I got the wrong end of the stick?

This is a tough one because the boys may alienate their Mum if they don't tell her right away but yet again they could save her a major heartache. I'd say get the boys to speak to your FIL which gives him the chance to tell your MIL himself, I know I'd much rather my H2B came clean to me himself than find out from someone else. x

i would tell her. sorry but i would. I know if it was me and i wasnt told i would be mad as hell and these things have a way of comming to light. I would tell the fil to tell her and he has 7 days to do it or i would do it if he dont :( sorry but thats me

When sonny is really upset when is mum is ill or something I get extra stupid to make him smile but mostly just sit and hold his hand. Nothing much you can do hails without getting caught up in it which might not be the best course of action

sonia ive told matt that i would want to be told if i was her because if it comes out later and she finds out that her sons knew and didnt tell her then shes gonna be even more upset!

We are supposed to go for tea on sunday (they get from hol fri) im sorry i really cant sit there knowing this and not say something??

Sorry ladies i will talk to you tomorrow!

Obviously those on my fb please dont say anything on there please, as his parents are both on there as well so will see :-(






On a good point its my oldest daughters 11th bday today and we have had a fab day till now lol

The truth always cames out in the end and would u want to be there when ur fmil finds out and you already knew.
I would want to know and yes it will hurt but i think it's then up to ur fil's to sort it out and decide where to go from then
Hope you's get it sorted whatever you's decide to do xx

hope his dad knows what side his bread is buttered! hope it goes ok for them both hun xxx

I think he should let his dad know what he has found on the computer, then leave it up to his dad to tell his mum. I personally think it's his dad that should tell her.

It's a really hard situation....I know how you are feeling, so let's hope it all works itself out.

Oh hun I always have the same opinion....if anyone is going to mess around, then they have to expect the truth to surface sooner or later. I think for his mums sake it would be better sooner. I think what you've decided to do is completely the right thing. Talk to his dad and give his dad the opportunity to come clean before she hears it off someone else. Only she can decide what happens from there. Dont let you, h2b or his brother feel bad, none of you asked to be put into that situation. xx

If it was me I would tell her, I would want to know and would be really hurt if I eventually found out and also found out other people knew about it but kept it quiet. I hope you all manage to get things sorted asap, its not a nice situation to be in.x

Oh no, how awful :-( xx

OMG Hails!! Just read the thread! I really hope everything gets sorted out. x x x

If I were matt I would defo confront his Dad and tell him he either fess' up or he'll tell his mum himself. I only say this because I no if it were me, I would want to no the truth, plus if she finds out matt knew and didnt tell her what will she think then :-/ its a very hard position you and your partner have been put in and I feel for you xxx

WELL apparently there fine!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Matt has talked to his mum and although she says there fine he says he can tell shes not!
Matt has just gone round there as hes borrowed his mums car as ours is in the garage and his brother has gone with him. Usually it takes half hour there and back and so far hes been gone two hours????
Im hoping all four of them are talking things over to clear the air because we usually go round evey sunday for tea and i really dont feel comfortable doing that knowing all this and them not having talked.
Im sorry my marriage of 12 years broke up because my ex had an affair with my daughters friends mum and i kicked him out on his ass when i found out!
Knowing this man, who thinks im selfish for getting married in disney and basically gives me the creeps (dont tell matt), Had this 'relationship' over the net with another women makes me sick and i REALLLLLLYYYY dont want tobe in the same room with him again because i KNOW i will say something. Even if his parents are ok i know matt and richard arent.

Matt hasnt slept proberly since this came out so i know hes not copying with this even if he says he is. :-(

God i HATE this!

Ok matt is back and to be honest i really cant believe men!!!!
Him and his brother went there and his dad was home but their mum was at work.
Anyway Matt turned round and said his dad basically blamed everything on an illness and depression and he apparently didnt REALISE he was doing it?????????? WTF??
Sorry but is t me or is that just a really s hit excuse!


Ive never suffered from depression so i dont know but please correct me if im wrong but surely even if your depressed you know what your doing is right or wrong???

His brother was really focal apparently but matt couldnt even look at him and i think i would be the same.
They are fine and his mum is staying with him but did give him the option of leaving if he wanted to to which he said no to.
matt has told her (on the phone this morning) he will support her in what ever happens now or in the furture so i guess we just go from here??

I have told him i dont want to go round for a few weeks tho as i just dont feel comfortable to which hes agreed :-)

trust me hun you know what your doing when your depressed. i've been depressed and it doesn't mean you sad and need cheering up its something to do with a chemical thing in your brain not working right which can make you feel low and tired. however the depressed excuse is a pile of doo doo

oh and hes deleted his facebook page...........as if that makes it better?

Thats what we think as well goff but his mum is staying with him, so as much as we dont like it, we have to be there for her.

She left her first husband after 12 years with 2 young boys and she was 7 months pregnant becuse he cheated so its not because she hasnt got the guts to leave.
Shes been with him 23 years (married 9)
I jst can't believe shes staying BUT like matt says we will support her no matter what, i just cant face him yet