I get married in 2015, and one of my best friend gets married abroad next year. She got engaged before me and asked if I'd be bridesmaid. To which I said yes, even though it is abroad and expensive. Now I'm engaged myself and saving for our wedding. We just can't afford to go, it would cost £1600 for a week all inclusive to go to her wedding and we'd much rather have that money to spend on our wedding. I'm gutted but I have no idea how to broach the subject with her and I have no idea how she would react. Please help ladies!
CommentAuthor~Beauty&TheBeast2Be~
Wow that's a lot of money just for a week! Could you be honest, sit down and explain the situation? How you would love to be there and apart of her day, but you cannot afford that now with your wedding in the planning. Of course she is going to be upset, her wedding came first, but she should understand the expenses part of this issue. She's your best friend, so hopefully, besides being gutted of course, she will be understanding. She must know having a wedding abroad is a touchy one, as not everyone can afford it. I certainly couldn't afford it, even if my friend asked me to MOH i'd be honest and say i can't do it. But sitting down and being truthful is the way forward.
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CommentAuthorFernP61
You need to just explain to her that you simply can't afford to go, it's going to cost too much and you have a wedding to save for she should understand. That's alot of money have you thought about going last minute to save money or go just for a few days not the whole week either way if she's a true friend she should be fine with it x
CommentAuthorBecky
I just feel awful, but it's so much money! That could pay the photographer and other bits x
CommentAuthorKaren22
Where are they getting married? Could you not fly out there for a couple of days so it wouldn't cost you that much??
oh that's a tricky one all you can do really is talk to her and be ready for her to prob be quite upset initially, but hopefully once she has time to think about it logically im sure she'll understand
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CommentAuthor*The NewMrsMalin*
That is a difficult situation; I can understand that you want the money for your wedding as it is a lot of money; maybe you just need to bite the bullet and sit down and talk to her about it. Maybe you could still be bridesmaid but only go there for a couple of days :S
Met in 2009
Got together on12th May 2011, proposed on the 12th May 2013
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CommentAuthorVelcro
do you have to stay at the same hotel/go all inclusive/stay the full week? maybe you can find a compromise somewhere? it is an awful lot of money even if you weren't getting married.... is that for one or two of you...?
either way, I think id look into cheaper options so I could still try to attend, and at least then, if it comes to the worst and you just cant go, at least you've explored all other options
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CommentAuthorShazk
I agree with other ladies I would see if it is at all possible to go for just few days, not go full inc, poss stay at different hotel or look on lots of sites see what deals u can get without "being part of the wedding " party as that will prob bump price up xx
If there is no way then I would sit down and be as truthful as u can xxx
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CommentAuthorNaomiH25
1600 is a lot of money :S
i spent 800 to come back in time to be bridesmaid for my friends wedding few years ago and now im getting married abroad and found all inclusive for 390 over "xmas" period which then i asked same friend who got married, she sed was no problem now shes backed out saying she cant afford it and spent double that to go to turkey self catering with a big group of friends few months after.
im upset from my situation because i was lied to.
as long as u explain properly that you cant afford it she will understand. big hugs xx
met in August 2003 - the year we finished school
back in touch on 19/1/11, finally got together on 27/3/11
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CommentAuthorLauraJo87
I agree, it's a lot of money.
I'm sure your friend will be fine with it - she must realise that it's a heck of a lot to fork out xx
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30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorAna40
It is a lot of money, id do what some of the other girls have said and try and find either alternative accommodation or just go for a few days. If not id talk to her as soon as possible so she is aware of the situation.X
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
I agree with the others, maybe see about a cheaper hotel and a shorter stay!
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
Even if I wasn't saving for a wedding I still wouldn't be able to afford that. Youth Hostels are very cheap, or are there family members you could stay with?
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
CommentAuthorBecky
She's getting married in Lindos, on Rhodes. She's chosen a 5* hotel and I don't blame her, you only get married once! It would be £1600 for both of us but then we need to get passports so you're looking at the best part of £200 for them! Plus holiday clothes etc. Plus, (I know it's early but...) H2B has 5 kids and Xmas isn't far away either. Everytime I think about anything there is just pound signs running through my head! (I really need to win the lottery!!!) But as they say, honesty is the best policy, hopefully I will be able to catch up with her this week on her own and have a chat :-/ Thanks for all your help ladies! I shall keep you updated! x
CommentAuthorValentinaK
I have had 2 friends that have done this... I think they deliberately got married abroad to cut down numbers! £1600 is an expensive holiday let alone a wedding! Especially for just a week! That's honeymoon cost territory! I'd broach it now openly and honestly as she needs to plan! Is she having a UK do?
And we lived happily ever after!
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
This kind if thing is always difficult, and recently i have seen threads on this from both sudes, the bride whos upset because her best friend can't come and the friend who wants to go and can't afford it! We all have different priorities in life and have different finacial incomes/expendiatures. And dome brides choose to have wedding abroad as its cheaper for them , but some do it coz the want a beautiful location, some do it to cut numbers to main party, some still want all there friends an family there, if i won the millions i would get married abriad an pay for my family an friends but i don't and egats most imporant to us is to have them all with us !
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthorBecky
Yes, she is having an evening reception over here as well. I just feel awful because I would love to go but no matter how much we have looked at our finances there is just no way of doing it without borrowing money, something I don't want to do :-(
