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Wedding Forum - I just can't set a date!...

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  1.  
    • FutureMrs-B
      CommentAuthorFutureMrs-B
      Got married 32 months ago
      Posted: Feb 19th 2016
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    For some reason I can't I'm just petrified; although I'm desperate too get married I just can't set a date!

    I panic because what if we can't pay everything off in time?

    We need too move out and get our first place together first and we can't afford too do both and neither of our families are willing to help; in fact my mom is just being awful and saying it's pathetic too even think about planning anything let alone booking a date I feel so down and disheartened and panicky and just ARGHHHHHHHHh! Can't explain it any other way

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  2.  
    • FutureMrsW
      CommentAuthorFutureMrsW
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Feb 19th 2016
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    Sorry to hear you're feeling that way, have you thought about setting the date but for a couple of years away, to give you time to move into your own place and put some savings together? Our date was over 2 years away when we chose it but it's coming round fast anyway, and it's allowed us a lot of time to look at options and spread the cost :)




  3.  
    • FutureMrs-B
      CommentAuthorFutureMrs-B
      Got married 32 months ago
      Posted: Feb 19th 2016
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    We want summer'18 ideally hon but I'm in such a panic weather we'd get the money in time or not it's because the families have made me severely doubt myself and once I start doubting myself that's it I guess! Really is the worst of feelings I feel so lost

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    He stole my heart -O2/O7/2O11
    He made my dreams come true -24/12/2O13
    I steal his last name -TBC
  4.  
    • RachaelH705
      CommentAuthorRachaelH705
      Got married 33 months ago
      Posted: Feb 19th 2016
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    Don't worry about it. Why don't you wait till you have your own place first. Then you can set the date and budget for it. It would take the pressure off you a lot. They're both huge milestones in your life. It's ok to spread them out a bit. There's nothing to stop you planning the details even without a date.
  5.  
    • MrsC2bee
      CommentAuthorMrsC2bee
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 19th 2016
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    I struggled to pic a date mainly as didn't know what weekend would be best and in end oh took over and picked the date lol, I think your find a way to afford it. Maybe write down what you want and estimate the prices so you know roughly how much your looking at paying out and then see how long it will take til you can do it. And if it means you have to borrow a little bit so be it as long as you get married :)
  6.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Feb 19th 2016
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    It's your OH you need to work it out with rather than your families. The two of you need to work out a realistic budget, and see how much you can put aside each month. You'll need to check what local rents are like, and maybe be prepared to go for a small place for a while. Once you've worked out how much you can save, set up a standing order to pay that money into a separate savings account each month, and make sure it's an account that is difficult to withdraw from so you only dip into it if you have absolutely no choice. Then you can look at how much things are going to cost for your wedding and how long it will take to get that much. You can also cost cut, for example by getting your wedding dress from a sample sale or replacing the wedding breakfast with a buffet. There are lots of tips for weddings on a budget on here.

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  7.  
    • Mrs D2B
      CommentAuthorMrs D2B
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Feb 20th 2016
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    You need to sit down and work out what you want for your wedding so you know how much you need to save, for example if you just want a register office wedding and then a meal with close family and friends it's going to cost a lot less than an outdoor marque wedding in the grounds of a manor house with 200+ people attending.
    Also are you set on having a summer weekend wedding? Midweek winter weddings will be less costly. Once you have a rough idea of how much it's going to cost you can then work out an affordable saving plan (h2b and I are putting aside £100 each a month to pay for our wedding, 3 years of saving gives us just under £7k towards our big day).
    As Elinor Claire previously said looking at local rents and getting a good idea of living cost once you are renting your own place will also help you work out how much you can save a month. u
    If you have your head around the figures and you are able to set yourself realistic budgets and savings targets it may help stop your worrying and make the idea of setting a date less daunting. Always remember tho a wedding is about two people who love each other committing to spend their lives together, it doesn't need to be an extravagant affair that costs an arm and a leg, as long as it is special to you and your h2b. Good luck

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  8.  
    • KirstyR386
      CommentAuthorKirstyR386
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 20th 2016
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    If you can choose a date a few years off but book it now it may actually work in your favour in terms of costs because you could negotiate to have this years prices for booking so early. We found the cost of venues and photographers etc go up year on year so if you are able to book early you may be able to get a good deal and save money in the long run. X
  9.  
    • FutureMrs-B
      CommentAuthorFutureMrs-B
      Got married 32 months ago
      Posted: Feb 21st 2016
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    Thankyou all for your input! H2B said he wants us too move around June/July and our date WILL be booked with deposit by the end of this year! He's also going too start doing 12 hour shifts so we can save more

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    He made my dreams come true -24/12/2O13
    I steal his last name -TBC
 
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