some of you may remember my rant a few days ago about in laws not being intrested in our wedding, i have now found out why, its beacuse i have not asked sil 2b's children to be bridesmaids and paigboys. my reason for not asking is that i only want my 2 children to be in the brial party and also if i have them i would also have to ask other nieces and nephews to make it fair, so that would be 4 child BM along with my 2 adult bm and 4 PB which in my opinion is too much, its costs too much to dress them all and transport them all, flowers accessories and the list goes on and on, its all an added expense and we would then have to lose other things that we want!
am i being unreasonable or am i out of order for not asking them? xx
Cant wait to be married
must loose weight!!
start weight 12st 12lb
current weight 9st 10lbs
CommentAuthorJane
no ya not wrong in not asking them but if inlaws wants them then tell them they pay for their outfits and flowers n transport that will shush them up :)
yay soon 2 be Lady Jane Bradbury
CommentAuthorVintageChic
No it's definitely not unreasonable and from another perspective if you're only having your own children that will make them feel included in a way that makes the day have a feel about becoming a family, rather than just a couple getting marriedwith multiple attendants
"Who, being loved, is poor?" -Oscar Wilde
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CommentAuthorCarrieanne
Not unreasonable, I wouldn't tell them to pay as they might agree and then you have a swarm of children in the bridal party! I'd just be honest and say why you don't want them and that you and your h2b's decision is final otherwise it will get out of hand with people demanding things on your day. x
CommentAuthorFuture Mrs Henderson
No defo not, get ur H2B to have a word with thm. If thy really wnt the kids still to be involved tell thm thy can pay for the wedding, tht should keep thm quiet lol xx
no not all I totally see where your coming from I am from a big family so to make sure nothing like this happend i told them al straight i wasn't having ANY family as bridesmaid / paige boys apart from my son and my 2 adult bridesmaids are my bestfriends was worried my sisters might feel a bit put out by this but because i told them from day dot before anything was decided they were fine xx
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
defo not hun! u r doin it very fairly, mayb remind the mil that u hav more nephew n niece than her sides
initally my mil want me to one of eahc of HER niece from each brother cos she said its fair n its her niece, errmmm no i said straight away cos we dont see one brothers kids mayb 2 times a year the other brother is h2b best man and their kids i luv to bits so why wudnt i have both i said to their mum and h2b i said i cudnt choose and i wudnt both i dint want the others as they r not close to me
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorWifey2be
no i think it does cost so much i have 8 very close girls friends but i only chose 6 of them to be my bridesmaids, but i have had people think that they would automatically think they would be bridesmaids etc. but is just so expensive (however the girls are buying their own dresses) but i have 2 close guy mates one is giving me away and the other is so upset that his not an usher but i feel like ushers are down to my other half, he should chose who he wants as ushers not me he didnt really have a say on who i chose as bridesmaids. but the other close friend who has not been asked to be an usher used to go out with one of the girl is a bridemaids and his like you have chosen her. i tried to explain that jay my other half is chosing the ushers and the close friend was like well i get on with jay i was like i know but its his choice not me. arghhhhhh x
CommentAuthornini
No you are perfectly reasonable. If you had picked some nieces and nephews but not others then that would be unfair, but you have said NO to all other relatives. As someone said earlier, having just your children as attendants makes the day more special for them. Stand your ground - explain your reasons, but don't apologise! It's your wedding and your way!
CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs Nicol
I wud say it is not unreasonable at all, if it is only your own children you would like then explain that to them and i agree about the expense it all adds up.. Do what you want to do not what someone else wants. :)
CommentAuthorMummy Geri
Your absolutely right. Have who you want as your flowergirls, bridesmaids etc. People (especially the older people) dont realise how expensive it is nowadays to get married cos when they done it it was cheaper. As suggested above just tell them you cant afford to have them cos of the cost unless their willing to pay. Thats what I would say anyway ;) good luck xx
bride-to-be Geri
CommentAuthorMrs D-2b
Not unreasonable at all, I know exactly what you mean, I have a similar problem. I would like to please everyone by having my niece and nephews but including my children it would mean I would have 2 flower girls, 7 bridesmaids, 6 page boys and 4 ushers its just far too much but I have people in my family that think not xx
Love all this organizing for our wedding,
Hate the dieting though!!
Cant wait to become Mrs Durnberger!!!!!
CommentAuthorClareS
You have who you want. You shouldn't have to justify yourself to anyone but maybe explaining to them that you want it to be about you two and your children and if you have one set of neices/nephews then you'll have to have the others, which will take away the the special meaning you're wanting to give the occassion for your children. Good luck x
CommentAuthorkimmy
Not at all, money doesn't grow on trees, but it's a bit daft them not understanding that though!!!!
CommentAuthorlisa123
thanks very much for your reply ladies, my head is set and it will be just my children. i think that because my sisters are bridesmaids they automatically assumed i was getting all family involved but my sisters are my best friends, no one else even comes as close to me as them. i hope they sort their sour faces out before the wedding!!
xx
Cant wait to be married
must loose weight!!
start weight 12st 12lb
current weight 9st 10lbs
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
hun i have the same thing ..... we are having my girls only as bm`s , mil wanted mr lalas nieces and even offered to pay for dresses but we said the cost isnt an issue , if we had them we would also have to have my nieces making a total of 7 bm`s .....mil said in that case she wasnt coming, ....... now there has been a bigger row and i wont have her there at all .
lala, i am getting to the point where i dont want mil and sil to be there either! they are the only reason we are even getting married here, we wanted to do it abroad but they couldnt afford to come! xx
Cant wait to be married
must loose weight!!
start weight 12st 12lb
current weight 9st 10lbs
CommentAuthorMrsC2B
Oh Hun. You're not being unreasonable at all. It's your day and you should be able to have whoever you want. xx
CommentAuthorHappilymarried Mrs G
they should not be uninterested just because you havent got sil2b children as part of the bridal party! It is still their sons wedding! Where is the interest in their son!? I have one of h2b neices as a bridesmaid with my daughter, because i get on very well with her and have known her since she was 4, she will be 16 when we get married. I knew bil2b for as long as i have been friends with h2b (we were friends for 10 years before finally getting together and bil2b was part of the same circle of friends) sil2b however, none of us really get on with. H2b and bil2b dont like her, and she has a 2 year old daughter and i offered to have her as flower girl to keep the peace and h2b said no, he didnt want sil2b involved at all....... his parents are still very supportive and excited about it though.
I think your future inlaws need to take a long hard look at themselves, and maybe h2b needs to have a word, he is their son and he is getting married and they should be excited for him!
CommentAuthorEmmaLouise
Not unreasonable hon, this is something my MIL2B doesn't understand...it's the brides family that normally gets involved. As it happens I have all the nieces and nephews, all from H2B's side but she still thinks she should have a say in everything even though she doesn't respect our choices. x
CommentAuthorlisa123
Cant wait to be married
must loose weight!!
start weight 12st 12lb
current weight 9st 10lbs
CommentAuthorcharlottelee
I can fully understand why and not being funny but noone should expect to be asked. I have my daughters and robins nephews and my niece. they are the only children within our family so was an easy decision. But it is the brides choice same as you dont get to choose the groomsmen or ushers. I did get a message on my facebook though from my step mother asking why i hadnt asked my younger brother to do anything he will be 12 and to be honest i hadnt thought about but think it was rude to tell me he had to be involved.
Going to become Mrs Stockman
Got engaged on 26th April 2011
Getting married 19th May 2012
