why are they so strict!?!?!?!i cant have my fav song played while h2b and i sign the register because it has the words heaven and hell in it?! also my h2b is currently saving to pay for his divorce and we cant even provisionally book the date (not the notice thing just make sure they set that date aside) no deposit or anything until his decree absolute comes through...and we cant even afford to apply for his divorce yet..................... and after that it could take 6 months -_- why is it at every turn i hit a brick wall?!
best day of my life to come 10th November 2013
Weight atm 11st
weight i was when we first met 8st
only 3 stone to lose -_-
CommentAuthorTsukijin
Just don't mention that he's previously been married, grab your provisional date and have your knuckles rapped later if you happen to get the same person. Once the decree absolut arrives, ring back and fess up lol, then you will have kept the date free for yourself and can rebook it. They're not going to dig into formalities until it comes to the notice day.
eru, shiteiru ka? shinigami wa ringo shika tabenai?
^_^
CommentAuthorTsukijin
They are annoying though, mine are costing £500 as apparently I need 2 to marry in a little hotel...
eru, shiteiru ka? shinigami wa ringo shika tabenai?
^_^
CommentAuthorfairy-cakes
yea we first got told about £200 and now its about 5. and they originally booked it all at the wrong venue and time! (all sorted now). i wouldnt mind if it lasted longer or they did kart wheels for that much.. i think its like you said tsukijin, because were getting married in a hotel too... you kidding kitty!! i never even thought about the words heaven or hell for music, what a nag.. i'd better double check the music we like before our hearts get set on it xx
CommentAuthorNicsquared
Its such a pain and whats worse is it totally depends on the registrar how strict they are on things like that. Ours we werent even allowed to provisionally book the date so we had to ring up at exactly 9am 1 year before to ensure we got the time we wanted. Then we couldnt give notice til november and they got really funny about that! Its also unfair that they all charge what they want and there is no regulation on it!
There are so many people out there who will tell you
what you can't do.
What you have to do is turn around and say, "watch me"!!
Ours is pre-booked and i nearly had a heart attack at the fees. £20 deposit to secure the date, £32 each to give notice, then a further £310 payable before the wedding itself!! But the one I spoke to was really nice and explained things really clearly for me. Think its luck of the draw who you get but I'd be risking it and finding the pennies for securing my date and deal with the fallout (if they pick up on it) afterwards!
Married my best friend 05.04.2013
CommentAuthorEmbbem-MrsW
it's cost us £70 to give notice and £680 for the ceremony including a £50 deposit.
I must be crazy giving myself only 6 months!
Engaged 17th Octobr 2011
Wedding 21st April 2012
CommentAuthorBridezilla
It is expensive, especially when you consider that most ceremonies are 30 minutes maximum. It seems like a good business to be in - can't be THAT hard to be a registrar.
CommentAuthorsussie
we are paying £70 to give notice and £457 for the ceremony, no has mentioned a deposit to me yet though hmmmmmmmmm
CommentAuthorjo Santa
on the flip side - if the divorce isn't through in time, you lose all the money you've paid out. Get that divorce done asap!! Unfortunately you're not allowed any reference to religion at all. I need to go and check if the music we want is ok. I have to give them a copy of the words we want to say as we exchange rings and the reading we want read - just so they can check there is nothing religious.
Jo Santa
CommentAuthorx Disney Princess x
I'm dreading mine now as they told me about £200 on the phone. I hope they don't raise it we are struggling already!
CommentAuthorClairebear67
Its a joke how much a registrar can charge to come out to a venue, £363 the registrar wanted to come out to our venue when we originally were going to have ceremony at the venue, Think Im in the wrong job. : ) Before it all went tits up we decided to have the ceremony at the registry office, £104 approx inclusive of registrar,notices and marriage certificates... big difference.
CommentAuthorsussie
wow!
CommentAuthorTsukijin
It's so expensive. If I'd done it in a registry office the registrar fee would be £50. HUGE difference. Petrol must be really expensive if it costs them £450 to travel half a mile...
eru, shiteiru ka? shinigami wa ringo shika tabenai?
^_^
CommentAuthorluvlifejen (mrs berr
there is no point provisionally booking a date as the divorce can take longer than 6 months it took my sister 5yrs! as he fought her all the way! mine took 5 months as we both wanted to get divorced
our registrar is lovely its costing more due to a hotel wedding its due to different reasons the extra cost all i will say is go with the flow you will find things are really overpriced with the words marriage and wedding attached to them!
please also remember the cost of giving notice isnt included either
soon to be Mrs Berry 26.11.2011
CommentAuthorClareS
we were allowed to provisionally book a date and time prior to t he 12 months. She did ask if we've both been married before, if so then all we need to do is make sure we take our absolutes when we go to give notice. They didn't ask us if we had them there an then though. I was advised at the time to have no songs with any kind of religeous tones to it. At first we we wanted Van Morrisons 'Have I told you lately that i love you' but it mentions heaven in there so got told it was a big no. The same with any readings. My SIL2b is doing a reading and although she wants it to be a surprise, she's going to have to seal it in an envelope for the registrar to give a yes or no to. I was also warned that if anything was just popped in as an extra on the day and they weren't happy with it then they could refuse to do the ceremony!!! Cost us £20 to provisionally hold the date (which wont come off our total). Will be costing £33 each to give notice and then will be costing £500 for the registrar. It would be around £250 but we've gone for a bespoke service with candle ceremony and other bespoke things etc. I suppose it makes sens to at least get your nisi before booking another wedding otherwise you could end up loosing a lot of money x
CommentAuthorluvlifejen (mrs berr
same for me clare x
soon to be Mrs Berry 26.11.2011
CommentAuthorLegoWife
I'm surprised just how strict they can be about religious mentions, I don't think there should be an issue with words like heaven and hell, they're so common outside of religion and it's not like they're being used for some sort of secret worship! Very strange.
~Wedding made of Lego~
*Married 30/03/13*
CommentAuthorTerribabylove
Are you getting married in a registry office?? or church or chapel??, i expact it if getting married in a church or chapel cus of the religious side of things but in a registry office, i would be shocked myself cus there not usuely as fussy when come to religous stuff. Im in no way religious so i better not get this problem lol, hope it can be sorted hun cus its your day and you should be able to have whatever you want xx
Our 2 Daughters - Skye born 04/06/06 & Danah born 24/08/07
Our son - Axel born 05/02/12
My Husband is Benjamin Smith lol
Im now Mrs Smith :-), Married since 11th August 2012
CommentAuthormcquire81
Ooh this is all a bit worrying... we have booked our registrar for our venue but apart from 33.50 each to give notice we havent been given a full price yet... after reading this thread i hope its not too much!
CommentAuthorLittleMissBossy
That's unfortunately the way it is... I told you in the other thread that we are not allowed any kind of candles - nowhere in the room not even for decoration.
I can totally see why more and more people chose a humanist celebration because you can do anything you want! Such a shame that it's only legally binding in Scotland.
Hello-Kitty which song was it?
It’s so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life....
CommentAuthorhello-kitty
30 seconds to mars kings and queens -_- grrr i dont know why they are so strict it's not as if it affects them is it? they say some words sign some paper and leave! and we're getting married in a approved venue so i cant really see the massive problem as to why they have to be so strict....
best day of my life to come 10th November 2013
Weight atm 11st
weight i was when we first met 8st
only 3 stone to lose -_-
CommentAuthorLittleMissBossy
30 seconds to Mars are giving a concert on Saturday in my hometown and have been a hot topic amongst a few facebook updates in the last few days :-)
It's a great song but it does have a strong religious - anti-religious - connotation. It's not just those two words so I can see that they have to steer clear of that one. It's still a shame if it's very personal to you.
It’s so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life....
CommentAuthorClareS
candles will be down to the venue restrictions wont they? Thankfully our venue uses lots of candles on a daily basis. I thought the candle ceremony was a nice touch as well, although it is getting more popular and people will probably be sick of it by the time it comes round to our wedding lol x
CommentAuthorLittleMissBossy
No not venue - at least for us. When we booked the venue they said they have to remove the candles (I asked if I can decorate freely) and when I booked the registar she pointed this out to me again.
It also affects the readings of course.
It’s so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life....
CommentAuthorhello-kitty
why are there so many restrictions i seriously dont get it? it's mean to be about the couple and what they want.....not what the registrar wants and doesnt want............ it's pathetic and immoral if you ask me. i can understand hymms not being allowed but you can read anything into any modern song regardless of genre so they could ban any song if they personally think it says something it doesnt... it's simply down to personal interpretation
best day of my life to come 10th November 2013
Weight atm 11st
weight i was when we first met 8st
only 3 stone to lose -_-
CommentAuthorOWB
We've gone for a Unitarian Chapel as it''s the only place that gave us free reign, we're not particularly religious but I always imagined getting married in church. We can have a religious hymn followed by Alice Cooper (well we could if h2b like him). They allow candles as long as they're in a safe area. You can have as religious or none religious reading, as many as you want, or you can skip the reading completely. I'm asking our minister to fit in a quote from Elizabeth Gaskell (she's buried in the graveyard there), and one of our readings is Terry Pratchett. We're having The Bealtes and Ode to Joy. You can take small bits of food into the service and have our first meal as a married couple together. You can toast with a glass of champagne at the end. She'll do hand fasting or breaking the glass. We can use the organ, or play our own music, and it's not vetted. It's so much more relaxed. I just wish other places were less stuffy.
If only life could be one long tea break
CommentAuthorhello-kitty
see being a pagan me and churches, any type of churchs, dont mix well at all hence the civil ceremony
best day of my life to come 10th November 2013
Weight atm 11st
weight i was when we first met 8st
only 3 stone to lose -_-
CommentAuthorKate4
I think we got the cost for ours from the council website?
We paid £20 to hold the date, £33.50 each deposit (each? why not just say £67!? You can't exactly do it on your own!) And then a further £350.
CommentAuthorOWB
Ah, Yes I guess that does throw a spanner in the works! I was thinking from the point of view that Unitarian churches will allow Pagans to marry there, but its more to do with you not wanting to I guess. Can you maybe have a formal entrance into your reception with Biffy playing?
If only life could be one long tea break
CommentAuthorhello-kitty
at this point in time im wondering whats the point when we cant have the day we want...because it seems to be all about regulations (btw i am having a really crap day and everything is seriously getting to me)
best day of my life to come 10th November 2013
Weight atm 11st
weight i was when we first met 8st
only 3 stone to lose -_-
CommentAuthorOWB
So much for weddings being about the bride and groom hey. I guess every bride has those moments, all the stress will be worth it to say I do though!
If only life could be one long tea break
CommentAuthorhello-kitty
yeah...... where did u find the unitarian church? as h2b is intrigued and said and i quote " surely u can stomach it if it means no snotty registrars sticking their big fat noses into our special day?"
best day of my life to come 10th November 2013
Weight atm 11st
weight i was when we first met 8st
only 3 stone to lose -_-
CommentAuthorOWB
That made me laugh. There's one on the road that I work on. I fell in love with it from the outside, but didn't think I'd be able to get married there as I'm not in the parish. They didn't mind that though, they'll take anybody. The only rule I was given is that you're not allowed to already be married at the point when you say I do. They do gay weddings, divorcees, mixed religion weddings the lot. Actually the other rule was that I couldn't be "given away", as I'm not a slave. I'll upload a pic of mine when I get home tonight.
There's not that many of them across the country, but I'm sure if you google unitarian chapels in your area then one will come up.
If only life could be one long tea break
CommentAuthorKate_B
Argh! - that's so annoying about the songs...Just checked ours and we wanted Iris by the Goo Goo dolls played when we signed the register but it mentions heaven once near the beginning. What a pain! Might contact them and see if they'd allow it at all since it is only once right at the start.
CommentAuthorLittleMissBossy
I think registry offices have to stay totally neutral and can't accept any kind of religion - or anti-religion as the song is about. It's all the damn modern day political correctness.... Not to offend anyone they have to stay totally neutral.
Why don't you do a humanist ceremony? Do the legal bit alone and fuss free beforehand and then have total free reign?
It’s so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life....
CommentAuthorLittleMissBossy
Katie I really think it wasn't only about the words heaven and hell. Iris has a totally different meaning - that I would argue then because Heaven in that sense is just a synonym for paradise. Obviously both feature heavily in religion/the bilble I know but it should be seen as colloquial language.
It’s so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life....
CommentAuthorhello-kitty
it's not a anti religion song at all....... i dont even know what a humanist ceremony is lol
best day of my life to come 10th November 2013
Weight atm 11st
weight i was when we first met 8st
only 3 stone to lose -_-
CommentAuthorLittleMissBossy
Isn't the Kings and Queens song about the terrible events of the past years and a new generation of promise emerging - children of a lesser god?
I don't mean it's booing the bible but to me the song has a certain undertone that it's not working the world as it is and if we come from a different god (how ever lesser can be interpreted) we can change.
It’s so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life....
CommentAuthorhello-kitty
V1-"Into the night"... this verse means confronting our own reality and suffering because of it
Chorus- "We were the Kings and Queens of promise.." (Past tense) Our potential has been corrupted by our ambitions. Worshiping a "lesser god" (aka money, sex, power). "Between Heaven and Hell" meaning not quite good and not quite evil.
V2- "Into your lives..." We were so desperate for our new ambitions that we harmed others
V3- "The age of man is over.." We're basically destroying ourselves and the "lessons that we learned...have only just begun" could mean that we have to learn to live with the decisions we've made
"We are the Kings, We are the Queens" x2 (Present tense) I see this as a more hopeful stance. They dont say "of promise" because we are already past that promise. Though we've made mistakes, we learn from them, correct them and live with them to stand tall as Kings and Queens the way we are now.
it's basically about empowering yourself to change your own fate and taking command of your own life and feeling better for it. yes everyone has crap in the past but it's about not letting it affect your future. thats what it's about.. ....
best day of my life to come 10th November 2013
Weight atm 11st
weight i was when we first met 8st
only 3 stone to lose -_-
CommentAuthorLittleMissBossy
I do understand, to me it also has the undertone that we need renewal from our set ways and I understand lesser God also in a less pretentious way.
Ahhh Jared Leto. My mind now wanders back to teenage years fancying the pants off him when he was Jordan Catalano in My So-called life :-)))
It’s so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life....
CommentAuthorhello-kitty
i just find it stupid that they let me play avenged sevenfold in a church for my mums funeral.......and they wont let me have this. oh yes the vicar actually agreed to play one of their songs :-)
best day of my life to come 10th November 2013
Weight atm 11st
weight i was when we first met 8st
only 3 stone to lose -_-
CommentAuthorLittleMissBossy
I really think the stupid political correctness is to blame. A church isn't neutral.
Have you googled Humanist Ceremony yet?
It’s so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life....
CommentAuthorhello-kitty
yeah but avenged is um.....a metal band lol! and yeah i have and it seems a lickle confusing....i'm gonna see if a different registrar is slightly more leanient :-)
best day of my life to come 10th November 2013
Weight atm 11st
weight i was when we first met 8st
only 3 stone to lose -_-
CommentAuthorLittleMissBossy
Good luck!
It’s so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life....
CommentAuthorLisa Ramos
OMG I am actually shocked at how strict they are! I know we were told that we weren't allowed any religious references, but I thought they meant hymns.
I love my lickle Ava
CommentAuthorhello-kitty
yeah so did i lisa thats why i am so annoyed. i think it's taking it way too far tbh there keeping it neutral and then being a pedantic twit and making things hard
best day of my life to come 10th November 2013
Weight atm 11st
weight i was when we first met 8st
only 3 stone to lose -_-
CommentAuthorLisa Ramos
I'm going to be really pi55ed off if they kick off about anything I choose. Are you allowed to walk into 'here comes the bride'? Because technically that is not a religious piece of music
I love my lickle Ava
CommentAuthorNicsquared
We just got our bill from the registrar - 375 just for them - have to pay the non-refundable deposit now but they can put the charge up in april and we cant do anything but pay it grrrrrrrr
There are so many people out there who will tell you
what you can't do.
What you have to do is turn around and say, "watch me"!!
CommentAuthorhello-kitty
i have no idea but i'm debating whether their going to let me walk down the aisle to the song i shall link on my wall in 2 seconds even if i hand them a copy of english lyrics it's a beautiful song and even by the music you can hear its nice
best day of my life to come 10th November 2013
Weight atm 11st
weight i was when we first met 8st
only 3 stone to lose -_-
