My OH and I went through our 1st guest list to make sure we have enough for the day time - and although both our mothers are not here (their choice) we still have totally different family numbers.
He has his dad & step mum - His Aunt & her son (cousin) and his Grandparents (His dads Parents)
I have my dad, grandad, 3 aunts, 3 uncles, 6 cousin and their partners and then 9 second cousins (although as they are children will be gone at 19:00)
I just feel really bad for him that because of his mum and her atrocious behaviour he is missing out on his 1/2 brother his grandparents from that side. :-( He doesnt mind he says better than having her there as would just ruin his day plus he gets on really well with all my brood lol
Does anyone else feel like their half of guests are more than half...
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
why cant he still invite the half brother and the grandparents ?
Sorry to here about your H2B family, however i am sure those people who are invited will make the day :)
I do have the same kind of situation, my family is much larger than my H2B and I think we have about 40 of my family and 20 of his! x
---Winter 2013 Bride ---
CommentAuthorFalkette
His mum has not spoke to him in nearly 4 years and his brother was 13 at the time that they stopped speakin, because there is a 13 year age gap between the brothers they have never been that close, for awhile after they fall out they did talk to each other but as time has passed they now no longer even acknowledge each other. And as far as his grandparents go - we think his mum must have said some lies for them to not even bother with him
CommentAuthorLegoWife
I've got, my mum, 2 brothers, my bridesmaid (friend) and her partner coming from my side. The rest of the 50ish people invited are H2B's family.
As long as he's got the people there who want to be in his life he'll be happy, I'm sure.
you'd be surprised weddings can bring people together, he can send them an invite and see what happens
8th September 2012 I married my best friend
1st September 2014 our little family grew by one
Women are made to be loved, not understood. - Oscar Wilde
CommentAuthorShazk
I have alarge family and H2B doesnt see or speak to alot of his so yes like yo uIm concerned taht it will all be my family but luckily we do have alot of friedns so that helps as they will be coming and they are our friends so that helps a bit xxx
Away with the flutterbys xxx
CommentAuthorLulu1388
Our guest list is very unbalanced also but my OH has turned round and said invite whoever I want for my side to make the numbers up, he'd rather have those he wants there than any old jimbob! Unlike my side where my parents are kinda saying well if you invite them, we need to invite those etc! Then on the night he has said more of his mates, work mates, etc will come! but at the end of the day as long as he's happy then thats all that matters to me, and as long as im marrying him and with our close friends (which we have few of) thats all that matters!! And as LegoBride said, as long as hes got those people there who want to be in his life and he wants there then he'll be happy - and anyway he's marrying you so that alone is all that counts!!
I can see why your concerned but it is alot more common than most realise to have such unbalanced guest lists - look at Monica and Chandler from Friends!! xx
Every Once In a While In The Middle of an Ordinary Life
. . . Love Gives Us a Fairytale. . .
CommentAuthornatalie2614
edited
Ours is quite evenly balanced, although he has more friends going than I do, its no big deal though. the end of the day is your h2b happy with the list? if so then dont worry too much you'll still have a great day xx
Married my best friend 05.04.2013
CommentAuthorMel D
We are the opposite, Dan has a massive family (his mum is one of 9!) but my family members including cousins and second cousins only add up to 16. So he was only able to invite immediate family (parent, siblings and their kids) and I invited every single member of mine and his was still more than twice mine! It was quite lopsided but it didn't really make any difference in the end - they didn't all sit on the "groom" side of the aisle, everyone just spread themsleves out between the two sides.
Got married Sat 28/05/2011
Renewing vows Sat 29/05/2021
We're planning WELL in advance!!
CommentAuthorElle23
I have more family guests than H2B as a lot of his family don't talk It drives me mad but Its been like that for years & years. His nan didnt speak to her brother etc it has just been passed from generation to genertation
We are not having "sides" for the ceremony due to this
To be wed on our 10 year anniversary! 23.08.2013
CommentAuthorSam
Good point ^^^^ I agree not having sides is a very good idea
CommentAuthorAmyP7
My family is very small, there will be 12. However h2b has a massive family. There are about 35 of his. But I don't care, as long as the important people are there. I'm going to be just telling people to sit anywhere x x
CommentAuthorFalkette
Yer I think no sides will be the way to go - will have to be! On the night will be plenty of our friends and I think it would be nice if his grandparents on his mum's side came, who knows what could happen in two years! Although his mum is a definate NO - she ripped his dad off £1000's with her boyfriend while hes was oversea with the navy!! So amoung other things she has done that is the biggie to stop OH speaking to her.
As already said so long as we all have the best day we plan for surrounded be the people we love thats the bigger picture.
CommentAuthorEleanorR
OH's ''side' is bigger than mine but I don't feel bad about that in the slightest. If we were doing our guest lists independently we would have chosen the exact same people. He has a bigger family and his friends are mostly couples. It's probably 45% people we know together, 40% his family and friends and 10% my family and friends but I have more than him on top table because it made the most sense.
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
Lol I think around eighty percent of people at our day do will be h2bs side...just my mum, brother, his missis, my dad and step mother and poss an aunt and cousin, and my bst friend from school.
However, h2b has quite a close knit family and I am close to a lot of them too, so it doesn't really matter to me xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorfloatee
edited
My side will be very much out-weighed by h2bs as it is very much doubted that my mother, sister, BIL, or even my dad will be there even if I sent invites begging them to come. Out of them the one person I desperately want to be there, if I am completely honest, is my dad as I would love for him to walk me down the aisle but as my mother barely says 2 words to me even when standing next to me and she is very controlling and most likely wouldn't let him come. H2b has said that he will be speaking to him closer to the day, but am not holding my breath.
H2b, has a large-ish family, many friends, his bike club and loads of others too. If we invited all of them to the day we would have 100s lol (we are only planning on an informal 30+ for the whole day), so in some ways is a good job I don't have more than a few people really as we would be scuppered.
CommentAuthorCat
I am inviting from my family my mum, brother, his gf, his 3 kids, my 2 eldest nephews from my sister (who is not coming), my 4 aunts (not inviting any of my 9 uncles as they argue and start fights), luckily only 10 of my cousins and their partner who have between them 11 children.
My other half on the other hand has only a small family and is inviting his mum, dad, 1 aunt, 2 cousins, a 2nd cousin (dad's cousin) and his godfather and godmother.
Luckily we are inviting a lot of friends to balance it out and some of my family probably will do their usual and say they are coming and not turn up, big families do not necessarily mean close, I only invited the most reliable and even then it is not a sure thing.
CommentAuthorLinzi-jo
My h2b is greek so he has a huuuuuge family! So our guest list is about 80% his guests and 20% mine, but I would rather have people he is close to there than have people who we aren't too bothered about being there just to make the numbers 50/50 xxx
Got together 14.02.2008
Got engaged 31.12.2010
Will become a Mrs on 30.08.2014 xxxxxx
CommentAuthorowlgirl2015
H2b has a very small family and has deciided he only wantts to invite a few friends :( so the other 45 are my family and friends. And I feel really bad about it but he keeps saying that he only wants people who care about us to be there and wants me to have whoever I want but doesn't stop me feeling guilty xx
25th of july 2015 i marry my soulmate:) x
CommentAuthorLilyB39
does not matter, just invite those people that you want to share your day with, the numbers does not has to be even, not everyone has a big family and a harmony family, you do not have to feel guilty
