Calm Down n Take a Deep Breathe Make a List Of Everything You Still Need To Do and Get Cracking On It Maybe Now Is The Time To Stop Being So Picky As You Dont Have The Time Just 3 Months Left. Dont Give Up Stay Strong n Forget About Your Set Backs And Move Forward. Check The Weather For Your Engagement Shoot I Had To Go With Plan B Coz Of The Rain. Maybe As Your Parents For Help On The Money Side and Your Hubby To Bes Parents To Help With Money. Time To Get Your Hubby To Be More Involved Dont Do This By Yourself As It Is Too Stressful You Both Need To Decide Together And Get What Needs To Be Done Soon As Your Wedding Day Is Coming Ever Closer. And With Your Friend If You Getting Married Before Her Your Venue 1st Why Cant You Both Have The Venue Just a Different Day Different Theme. Stay Strong Here If You Need To Talk What Do You Have Left To Sort Out?? You Will Get It Sorted Hun n Have The Wedding Of Your Dreams ♥ Wedding Planning Is Meant To Be Fun The Earlier You Start The Better ♥
♥MrsDeaton2Be♥

Sometimes things just seem to get on top of us and we can't see the end result.
You will be marrying the love of your life, will it matter if the flowers are slightly wrong?
You can drop that dress size if you want to. As GF says, sit down and get cross with yourself, you CAN do it!

I think you should talk to your BM's and see what help they can offer you, share the load, ask if they can help with any jobs you need doing.

Maybe apologies to your H2B and just explain that you feel things are falling apart and the stress is upsetting you. I'm sure you can work this out.

I agree witht he other ladies, just look at thigns more positivly

I like you like to "think" about things before I buy them but with wedding stuff I have decided if I see, like it and good price ill buy it for this reason and think you need to do the same.

I like IB36 idea about engagement shoot if arrangeing it causing that much stress put it on hold and have it for your anniversary instead there is no point paying more money when A) you dont have it & B) can go towards you actualy goal

I would imaginge alot of brides have got to some point and gone AHHHHHH i give up but at the end of the day its 1 day where you and OH become one and thats all that matters, yes it would be lovely if the flowers were perfect but if they only slightly wrong work with it, is anyone going to know they not teh colour they meant to be?

Big hugs, take big breath and relax xx

Hello Mrs Bram.

One of my tricks at the very start of organising my wedding was asking myself this question "Do we really need or want this?" The engagement shoot fell into the "We don't need this" category therefore we aren't doing it, it's getting replaced by a framed family portrait at another time.
Chair covers have lately been put in the don't need category as I've decided they really aren't that bad as they are and when they are covered they manage to make my rooms look "crowded and too busy" anyway. There are pictures of my chairs in my pictures on here and I'm sure others would probably agree.

Other things that went into the don't need or don't want piles included table ribbons (centre pieces will be just fine), red carpet for our entrance (the entrance is grand enough without it), a veil lol I had been undecided if I wanted one or not but as I'm undecided for the last almost 7 months its now going in the don't want pile. We are having one vintage car or two maximum whereas before I'd have hired a whole fleet of them cos I love them. There's loads more unwanted and not needed items that we have ditched completely so what I am saying is ask yourselves the same question. No one will notice or care that you have left out a few extras.

I agree with the other posts with just about everything really!

You need to try to take a more positive stance on things as if you feel negative, things such as diet and exercise can be hard to do when you dont feel motivated. The good thing is you do still have 3 months left, that is enough time to turn things around, sort everything out and lose the weight you wanted to.

Lets start with the first point; There seems to be a lot of people who have experienced 'friend politics' over venues. You need to consider how she feels as in how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot. Sit down and talk to her or arrange to meet her over coffee and clear the air. If you wish to mend your friendship, it is going to take someone to make the first move and why not you? I for one have learnt in the past that i have to stop being so stubborn and make the first move if i think a friendship is worth it. If not, then let her get on with it as it's unnecessary stress for you.

Secondly re decision making, like the other girls have said, you cant always afford to take so long to make decisions and if this keeps happening then you need to either decide on the spot or within a shorter time period. The difficulty with all things is as the seasons change, stock also changes. That's not to say that something better may not come along in the mean time.

Re the flowers, as other girls have also asked, how out of shade are they? Did they fit the colour description when you bought them? If totally off can you not return them? One of my colours was burgundy and i bought some shawls which said burgundy but were bright red! So i sent them back and they were fine with it. If you cant send them back you could either a)try to colour them yourself using a spray - even a clear spray if you need to make them darker it may work or a gilltery type spray to make them a bit lighter or b)sell them and buy different ones

If you have gone over budget, are there things you could cut out, buy second hand or do DIY? This would help you save money

With the engagement shoot, it's not the best time of year for outside photo's. Do you know anywhere you could have photo's taken inside somewhere like a converted barn or warehouse or even if he set up a white screen inside yours/his home..... does it have to be outside if it is causing you this much stress?

Re the weight loss, you have approximately 4-6 weeks before your dress fitting and 3 months to the big day. This gives you time to re-focus your mind. As you havent achieved what you wanted to, now is the time to take this seriously if you need to shift the pounds. Where possible, try to stick to under 1500 calories and cut out carbs in the evening. Ignore the idea that if you dont eat much you will lose more as this isnt true. Your body needs calories to function and if you dont eat it then it goes into survival mode and will store reserves rather than using it as energy. Do you exercise? If not, now is the time to start going for power walks or running outside. It's free and will help with your metabolism and weight loss. Try to stick to wholegrain foods where possible.

Sorry for the long post, im just trying to show you that actually you can get through this. Whilst you are stressing, your mind wont be able to focus properly. You need to remove yourself from all things weddingy for a night, try to relax and then the next day write down a plan of action and priortise it. Make a separate list for things you also still need to buy, how important it is to you both and again prioritise it.

Again, sorry for rambling, i really hope my post helps even if miniscule! x

How about photos in the rain though? They can always look amazing and any photographer worth his money can work miracles with an umbrella!

N xx

I agree with Nina, photos in the rain are really pretty.

You do realise your photographer is only pushing you into having your engagement photos taken "to make the day go smoother" because he wants to free up some time for himself and rush you into having them done. Take your time over these pictures and tell him you want them done after the wedding. This will make things easier for you and take the stress off you. Do things when you want to do them, not when some businessman decides you should do them, which is obviously for his own benefit. And besides if you do your engagement pictures after your wedding you will still have something wedding related to look forward to when all the wedding fuss has died down :-)

As for your friend she isn't much of a friend if she was prepared to begrudge you your right to book the same venue as her. No bride owns their venue, absolutely anyone is free to book whichever venue they want no matter what.

One of my best friends has fallen out with me too and all because I said I was avoiding cat litter as I'm pregnant right now. She took major offence to this because she's a cat lover and to be quite honest if that's the way she's going to act I don't want that in my life anyway. So if you have tried to talk to this friend and she's still acting like a spoilt child then honestly do you really need someone who gets on like that in your life?

If the flowers colour is slightly different to what was planned then I wouldn't worry. Honestly no one really notices these things, and believe it or not but your new shade of colour may actually be a blessing as it might just look better in your venue, I've known that to happen before as my cousin picked out what bridesmaid dresses she wanted and the colour and it was left to my aunt to order them and she ordered the wrong colour by accident but on the day no joke everyone commented on how beautiful they looked and how well everything looked together :-)

About the shoes see things are looking up already :-)

He definitely shoots weddings in the rain, I have seen some of his work from wet weather weddings. Maybe it's because of the location we have chosen, not sure. He did say we could change the location if it rains but we (and now he) have some really good ideas for the location we've chosen. I will have to sort this one way or another though.

On a positive note, you have all given me a necessary kick up the bum. I rang h2b and explained how stressed I am so he told me to go ahead and order lots of stuff we need.

I have realised I hate the actual buying bit. I love researching and making things but not the buying. I always feel like I'm 'getting somewhere' when I'm actually working on the wedding DIY things. So once it all arrives and I can crack on I think I'll feel more positive.

Thanks again everyone.

I have just read this thread and thought I would comment on how much more positive you are sounding towards the end. Clearly getting it off your chest has done you a world of good!

Sorry you have not been on much recently. I think I remember your dilemma re the venue I am sure you posted at the time? I don't want to say too much as you seem to be keeping a low profile but I did sympathise with your predicament at the time.

Hope things are starting to look up xxx

You really don't need to get to know different poses by doing a pre wedding shoot. Are your bridesmaids, parents, bestman etc etc doing the pre wedding shoot with you! No they aren't so no a pre wedding shoot is not needed. My brother did not have a pre wedding shoot and his wedding pictures were fantastic. If your photographer is not professional enough and not comfortable enough to know how to handle a wedding without doing a pre wedding shoot well then I agree with another poster- change the photographer.
Always remember you are paying him for a service and if he keeps saying "No I won't do this and no I won't do that" then your reply should be "Ok I will take my money elsewhere". He should be working with you when you are available whether its raining or not. A photographer who refuses to work in the rain makes it sound like he either doesn't have the proper equipment or the skills to work in all weathers.

I would still plump for a shoot after the wedding, simply because I have never been to a wedding where the couple have been told they need to do a pre wedding shoot to get to know their photographer and poses. That's a load of bull.

I'll be 36: no-one is saying you have to have a pre-wedding shoot; no-one is saying the photos won't be great without them. However, as someone who has had 3 professional shoots done, I can say I definitely want a pre-wedding shoot, as does my OH, as it will allow us a 'trial run'. I do also believe it makes things run quicker on the day; we want our posed pics to take 20 minutes max, but at the same time, we want the photos to be great. I personally believe, from experience, that having tried various poses before will make things run much quicker as our photographers won't have to spend as much time explaining what to do. So I totally get where the OP is coming from on this, and personally, I don't see the point in having a post-wedding shoot instead. To me it makes much more sense to have a pre-wedding shoot.

Stressedb2b: I hear you on the photography. We are spending a LOT of money on ours, and I honestly have found it the toughest thing. I originally figured a professional photographer is a professional photographer and there's not much difference: I quickly realised that there are HUGE differences in style etc, and it was a real nightmare. I think I must have looked at at least 60-70 photographers, and of all those, I only really liked 1, the one we're hoping to book! And we're spending double what we originally thought we'd spend :-s

It's a complete nightmare isn't it Barbie?! I looked at loads and loads too and I became a bit photo blind! Ours came recommended by our first choice who was unfortunately booked for our date but by then I was sick of looking and stressing over it. I think it was the single hardest decision we've made for the wedding so far.

It's not really the photographer who is being inflexible, it's h2b, or rather his work. He works very long hours, often commutes and is often expected to cover weekends for colleagues outside of his rota weekends (although the overtime comes in handy financially). The photographer hasn't yet refused any dates we have set for the shoot, it's just unfortunate that it rains every time. He is not usually available on weekends as he is shooting other weddings, but the fact that he is busy makes me more confident in his abilities otherwise he wouldn't be getting bookings. As a bonus, he is quite reasonable for what he offers, mid price range I would say but I am hoping the expense will be worth it.

I appreciate where you are coming from though as obviously if I just let this go then I would be removing a source of stress for myself but this one thing is really important to me so I will try again before rethinking the location. Xx

You sound less stressed now than you did when you first posted. Which is good!

Have you ever watched Don't Tell The Bride? (I'm sure everyone on here has at least once). The biggest thing that strikes me from that show, is the girls often insist certain things must be a certain way, and they end up getting the exact opposite. But watch them on the day and most of them can't stop smiling and have a great day. I try to keep that in mind and tell myself it won't go perfectly in the planning, but I BET on the day you don't stop smiling!

Good luck. And on the weight issue, I can only recommend weight watchers, I lost 3.5 stone (granted I found some of it back since, lol) using it.