So my MIL to be's Partner is a word that i cannot put on a public site.
He is a compulsive liar, i can tell he doesnt like me and him and MIL are staying in a completely different resort to us on the Island we are getting married. Every time I see him (i try not to) he goes on about the wedding in such a negative light and to anyone that he can, will say the resort we have picked is "like Faliraki". Now, anyone who knows Kefalonia at all, will know there isnt even a nightlife scene out there. I even overheard him saying to OH's brother (and best man) "we are staying out of the way of all the younger ones, it's not really our scene".... I am so not sure what he is expecting we are going to be doing, my parents, grandparents and OH's Dad and stepmum cant wait and are staying with all us "young ones".
I just feel like he makes all social situations more difficult than they need to be, and unfortunately it seems as if im going to have to have him on my top table. Theres no way OH's step mum wouldnt be on there, I love her to bits and shes been in his life for 20 years, so its not even a question. Which is why I have to even it out on the other side...Im dreading it!!!!! Everyone else on the top table (men) will be in the groomsmen outfits, he is categorically NOT being a groomsman.
My layout currently goes a bit like this:
MIL Partner mil my dad me h2b my mum FIL Step MIL
what do you girls think????
CommentAuthorkittyh
Yeah i think that sounds perfect (well as best as it can be!) he is as far away from you as possible and he is only next to your MIL so anything he says he is only going to be inflicting on her and not anyone else on the top table... i'm sure you will have such a lovely day that he will just blur into the background :) try not to worry about it too much :)
CommentAuthorJoanna
Personally I don't see why he has to be on the top table. Isn't there anyone else he can sit with?
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return
CommentAuthorMrsWright290912
I had a similar problem with step parents and parents etc. I wanted my step dad and mum on the top table but not my dad and his wife so to eliminate the problem altogther, we had a table of me, my hubby, our best man and my grandad (we were all doing speeches) and everyone else sat on normal tables. None of my paternal family came in the end but thats what we had planned.
I really did marry my Mr Wright and we had a nice day for a
Wright wedding!
Mexico for our first anniversary
CommentAuthorDanni13
he knows nobody else at the wedding (but maybe if his grandma comes, i can put him with her) i just think, why should I have to have him being considered as one of the important people, when i would much rather have my sister and his brother on there, but instead they are on normal tables... who knew a seating plan could be so hard. Politics ey!
i wouldn't care if he didn't know anyone else. he wouldn't be on the top table. end of. im not even having my dad on the top table. you don't want to look back and regret it. you wont want him sneering in earshot of you.
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorvic:)
what does your h2b think about him being on the top table? he might not want to be on top table, but I know its difficult as could cause upset for others if he wasn't, but they way you planned it sounds good :) xx
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
Do what you want! I absoloutly love kef an i know what you mean about the night life! Where are you staying? Do whatever you want with the top table! We are just having our moh and bestman and sime friend and cousins on our table and my mum and o/hs parents are hosting their own table!
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthorAna40
I would do want makes you feel more comfortable. Your seating idea looks fine. X
CommentAuthorkittyh
I agree that you shouldn't be unhappy on your day but at the same time if it is going to cause massive dramas with your MIL with him not being on the top table but FIL's partner on there then i would advise you to act with caution. Perhaps speak to your OH and find out what he thinks...? xx
CommentAuthorInDreamland
If you don't want him on there then don't have him on there hun, you don't want to be upset on your big day.
There was someone I couldn't stand but had to invite to keep my mate happy, her boyfriend who according to me and hubby is a male chicken! So I put him on the back corner table as far away as possible from us and had his back towards us so I didn't have to look at his face.
Point is, your wedding, your seating plan. You don't owe him anything and if you'll be happier on the day with him as far away from you as possible then you have that control xxx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorBecky1608
I'd do what you want to do, although I see how it could be awkward if he's the only one not on it. At least he'd be on the very end!
What does your H2B think? Xxx
29/09/2008 - The Day we met
12/11/2008 - When we decided to be more than friends
04/11/2012 - A proposal in Central Park NYC
08/11/2014 - The day we say I do!
CommentAuthorInDreamland
My SIL when she got married didn't have my FIL on the top table, he didn't do a speech and he didn't give her away. She doesn't have a good relationship with him so he was relegated to a general guest. Hubby took on all his dad's duties on the day. This man isn't your dad, you don't have much of a relationship with him from the sounds of things so sit him where you want to sit him.
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorangel830609
I can see your predicament hun, my partner doesn't want his dad at the wedding at all never mind at the top table (I've told him we can't invite the rest of the family but not him especially as he they do talk when they see each other) I do agree with him in some aspects though as he very rarely see's David or our children even though I invite him down all the time, yet he is willing to go to MY brother's house and see his 2 children who are nothing to do with him at all! sorry went a bit off point their, what I'm trying to say is the other's are right have him at your wedding by all means but sit him where you want if your mum complains just ask her why should you have him at your table if he doesn't even like you and is complaining about everything, good luck hun hope it all works out xx
it's been a long hard road, but hopefully we're getting
somewhere :) xx
CommentAuthorRennie1989
What does your H2B think of him and the top table plan?
CommentAuthorDanni13
spoke to H2B about it last night and he said he understands that i dont want him on there for my reasons and also he doesnt think he should be on there either, unless its just to keep his mum happy and not on her own. He actually suggested two things: 1. dont have a top table set up, just have a round table and sit us with my family only, then arrange the other tables so that his mum and dad are seperate with their respective partners. 2. Just have our actual parents, on the top table so his step mum would be on a table within the rest (and therefore so would his mums partenr- the one i dont like)
Hes compromised loads on each one which is good, but i reallly wanted the traditional top table set up. But feel like his stepmum has earned her place there, but his mums partner just hasnt.
I thin kthe next person i need to approach is is stepmum...see her feelings about where she expects to sit!!!
CommentAuthorBryonyEminson2Be
We have the same predicament! we love OHs stepmum, she is married to his dad and is a mum to him- he actually calls her mum, but MILs partner has only been on the scene for a couple of years and is an alcoholic- OH suggested having them both on the top table but we are gonna talk to stepmum first and see how she would feel first, luckily stepmums parents are invited as well so even if we dont have anyone to sit MILs partner with at least we have people to sit stepmum with, maybe you could do the same thing, invite stepmums parents so she can sit with them and then plonk MILs partner somewhere away from you and if MIL complains then you can point out that stepmum isnt on the top table either
And my soul saw yours and said
"oh, I have been looking for you"
we met 07/09/2004. we loved 28/02/2012
we'll marry- 14.08.2021
CommentAuthorSarahJ84
I would say that if your partner agrees with you, you shouldn't have to have him on the top table.. sounds like he wouldn't appreciate it anyway...
