Ok ladies sorry but I need to let this one out...
My Dad, if that's what you can call him has never taken the role too seriously, he and my mum split up when I was 6 (now 28) and he started letting me down from day one. I would get ready to go to his at the weekend and he wouldn't turn up and wouldn't ring to let us know where he was. Then a few years on he got really badly into drugs, not just cannabis, but harsher drugs like LSD and Ecstacy and I would be around him while he was off his head. What I witnessed could of seriously have messed my head up but luckily my mum balanced the abnormal behaviour out (although she never knew at the time what was going on).
Anyway he left for about 5 years with no contact and no reason, got back in contact when I was 17 and told me he would make it upto me, this I have never seen. All the women in his life have always come first and they would be the excuse of why he could never visit even when I had my girls.
The last year and a half I started to feel closer to him again and we would both make an effort to meet up. At one point though he fell out with my OH because he wanted him to pick me and the girls up from his at short notice but OH couldn't because he had already had a few drinks, he hasn't spoken to him since and last June I went on holiday with Dad, his partner and my step sister. OH was meant to go but obviously didn't due to the way my dad was with him. I was pregnant at the time and because OH didn't go dad and his partner were blanking me out during the whole holiday. One of the nights the news came on about some drug that is now widely used by abusers and dads partner commented that she had never heard of it. I had, because I knew of people from around where I live that have took it, I am not friends with these people and explained this too. Susan (my dads partner) flung her phone at me ordering me to ring the police on said people, which I refused to do as I value the safety of me and my girls. She argued with me over it while my dad just sat there and let her get quite aggressive over it (bearing in mind i waaspregnant and hormonal) then she said and I quote "I hope karma comes round and bites you in the bum, one day one of your children will probably start taking drugs and because you have decided not to stop this now, maybe one of them will die from drug abuse and it will all be your fault!"
Anyway that's basically where the argument ends because I walked off but my dad never stood up for me even though he knows what I went through in the past with him, I have had no apologies since just excuses made for her. My dad didn't speak to me for months afterwards because he said I shouldn't have answered her back. He is now sending me messages congratulating me on the arrival of my baby (which he heard has happened through the grapevine) and he wants to come back into my life especially as he now has a new grandson and i'm due to get married. Trouble is he has always let me down and probably always will, I don't think I have the energy for it anymore, I am fed up of having to just pick myself up after he drops me.
Sorry for the huge rant.
Thanks for reading if you got this far. xx

poor you he sounds a bit like my daughters dad he doesn't make any effort what so ever.

only you can decide if hes worth letting back into your life but from reading what you have put i don't think he is. All he has ever done for you is give you heartache and pain parents aren't meant to do this and he should of told is gf to back of and leave you alone at the end of the day you were is pregnant daughter and she had no business treating you like that.

do you really need that sort of person a round your children.

Hey
She knows everything about his past as she has commented that i'm childish and mean to not forgive him as it was years ago and people change, one of the things I said at the time was "if you want to talk to someone about drugs, ask the professional sat there".
Well OH asked for my hand in marriage, and when they fell out my dad said I no longer give you my blessing, he was meant to come but he doesn't know the date or the church which he is currently trying to find out. I gave them a chance to see my girls as I didnt want to be the one to decide on their behalf but he refused to pick them up saying I would have to bring them to him, I dont drive and my OH would have been at work that day, so dad said well you can get the train cant you. So they didnt see him after all. You would think that my dad would be really pleased that I have found someone who is so kind and looks after me, as I left my girls dad due to him being abusive. But he just cant be happy for me which is really hurtful.
xx

Thanks ladies. Its such a hard decision as (morbid thought here) but one day he wont be around and I will have to live with the fact that I pushed him away. On the other hand though I just dont feel comfortable around him and as he hates OH so much how can I have him be a grandad to our first son together??

He is like my daughters father everyone has to run after him. Will he break your childrens hearts like he has yours? You need to consider your kids. In my experience these types of men never change not even with age. My daughter is psychologically damaged due to my ex and he thinks its funny. Kept your contact to a minimum or dont get involved at all. Dont risk letting him spoil your wedding or your kids lives, believe me I know from experience, I,ve lived it and you dont need him you have h2b now him and your kids need to be uppermost in your consideration, you dad has had his chance.

Or you could explain to him that you're reluctant to involve him in the wedding just for one big day only for him to disappear again afterwards. If he makes a real effort over the next while to see you and the kids, take interest in your lives etc., then maybe he's earned himself the chance to be with you at such an important time. That way you needn't feel like you haven't given him a chance - though personally, I think you've given him more than enough chances. x

Wise words madhen again, she is good with the advice she could be right do what u think is best hun xx

Agree with madhen, but I hope that woman ends up in a ditch herself, what a horrid thing to wish on a child.

aw hun all i can say really is that the decision is yours at the end of the day but i agree with the other ladies you have given him plenty of chances and he has always let you down so he is likely to continue letting you down! x OH's dad is a bit like that he forgot rys birthday even though we rang him the day before and then ry got really upset and he has dne it lots before it why him and mil2b split but he hasnt changed either!! ok some people do but more often than not a leopard never changes his spots! Good luck with the decision hun xx big hug xx

blimey , the fact hes now missing out on your wedding and his grandchildren is charmer biting his bum! good for you !!!! osme people need to learn the hard way , did you have a response from him when you told him that?

i agree with what you have done , just your story at the top would be enough for me to tell someone to bog off but for you it was your life , your feelings , your family ! draw a line under it and look towards the family you have made and are making xx