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  1.  
    • BethanyS
      CommentAuthorBethanyS
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: May 9th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Sorry I haven't been on for a while girlies. H2B arrived back after 3 months away so I have been spending the past 2 weeks with him and work has been sucking me down as well!

    Anyway, I thought me taking 12 days off work would be nice and relaxing for me, how wrong I was! It started with one of my bridesmaids texting me how upset she was that I hadn't been speaking to her and it was obviously because I didn't like her anymore! She got a new phone and never gave me the number, so I was texting the wrong phone for weeks! I was planning meet ups on the FB and she blanked them, and it was apparently me who wasn't making any effort! She said I was getting funny with her when it was her getting funny with me. In the end she told me we had obviously crossed wires and she still wanted to be my friend, which in am now questioning and whether she actually deserves to be a bridesmaid or not?

    The following day I texted one of my other bridesmaids, who is the girlfriend of my other bridesmaid (I know it's complicated!) and it turns out since I have been away they have broken up! I asked her whether it was on bad terms, which she didn't really give me a reply to other than she dumped her via text, oh dear! So I am now stuck in between a rock and a hard place! If I said I didn't want them all to be bridesmaids it would mean I would only have 1 left! I really don't know what to do and I just need some advice and if anyone has been in a situation like this before? X
  2.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 9th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Ouch. You need to consider very carefully who you need as bridesmaid. Who do you want by your side? If you want them all then you need to talk to the girls, and ask them individually if they will still do it even if the other girl is there. If they say no then maybe they shouldn't do it.

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    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  3.  
    • Showgirl
      CommentAuthorShowgirl
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 9th 2014
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    Oooohhh that's a toughie! As Elinor Claire said, see if they're willing to be there if the other is, hopefully they'll have patched things up and will be back together by then, but failing that the best you can hope for is for them to be able to set their feelings aside for the day.
    As for the other, she said she still wants to be friends so maybe its worth the 2 of you having a girly day/evening together and talking everything through, make sure you're both on the same page about what the friendship means to you and what is expected of her as a BM (including responding to FB messages).
  4.  
    • DanielleMystic
      CommentAuthorDanielleMystic
      Getting married in 8 years
      Posted: May 10th 2014
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    Definately talk to them all and try to spend some time with each of them (of course this is easy said than done if they're blanking messages)
    If they say they can't be there with the other girl there then I think they're just being selfish - they're grown ups and should be able to act like it for one day! If they care about you enough to accept being bridesmaids they should be willing to do all that entails.
    Best of luck in getting it sorted x

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  5.  
    • BethanyS
      CommentAuthorBethanyS
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: May 10th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Thanks girls. I'm hoping they would be able to put there feelings aside just for the one day. It's not like they even need to talk to one another that much and they can go there separate ways straight after. I'm off to see one of them on Monday or Tuesday bug the girl who said I didn't want to be her friend wants to meet up Monday night and just act like nothing has happened.
    I know the couple that have broken up isn't really a friendship problem to me, but with the other bridesmaid it is because I feel betrayed by her. It really made me sad seeing her like that. X
  6.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: May 11th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Only you can decide what to do,

    with the couple I think you need to speak to them both individually and see what they think, explain that they are both really important to you and you don't want to chose between them as you would like them both to be there for you and ask if they are happy to both still be there for you on the day.... you have 10 months so it's not like the break up will still be fresh.

    As for the one who was being funny with you, I think the best thing to do it wait and see how things are. She hurt you and has shown a side of herself which you obviously aren't happy about, but maybe she is struggling with things herself. See how things go before making a decision, but if you really feel like you can't trust her and don't want her by your side on the day then don't feel like you have to have her.




  7.  
    • clairenina
      CommentAuthorclairenina
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: May 11th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    There are times like this I'm glad I'm not having any bridesmaids lol. It's your wedding, and I would pick someone who is happy and honoured to be your bridesmaid, and not someone who is causing you stress and upset.
  8.  
    • BethanyS
      CommentAuthorBethanyS
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: May 11th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I agree, I suppose their break up won't be as fresh then, perhaps they will even be good friends by then. It the other girl that has got me in a flap, but I suppose time will tell. X
  9.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: May 11th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Try not to let it stress you, if it is then just drop her... you have enough to stress about before the big day without having a rubbish bridesmaid to worry about too




 
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