This probably is just a rant. I don't know. I'm having serious thoughts of talking to hubby to be about us cancelling almost everything, loosing our deposits and having the silly amount of money to go away and get married! I would keep my dress and the photographer we love, but h2b a lovely suit and then go either just the 2 of us or us and our 3 small boys and get married.

I'm no longer comfortable with the amount of money we are spending on the day....essentially on other people. I have 5 adult bridesmaids who I felt I had to have if I had the one of them that I really wanted, we agreed at the beginning that if they wanted to do it then unfortunately they would have to pay for their own dresses. I'm feeling pushed into letting them wear any old shoes they already own because they are going to wear long dresses but I feel I can't say no I think those shoes are awful please buy these from primark etc so you match, because it will be more expense to them. I asked if they would have their make up done with me, but 2 of them don't want to, again I can't make them, I feel silly, but I feel like the day is a big inconvenience and I really wish I was t having half of them but they have already bought their dresses.

To top it off we have arranged an apartment for us to stay in for the hen do at the cost of 35 pounds each. There are quite. Few of us to its hundreds I'm owed, and in the next few weeks I should need the money back for the deposit on a house! I have asked politely for the money patiently a few times now. One of my girls said she is so skint that she can't give me it til the end of the month so I said that's fine I understand, but then I speak to her ten minutes ago and she says she has told her other half he can only spend 30 pounds on her for valentines, and they Are taking the kids for a McDonald's and I could cry because I can't buy my hubby to be anything but she owes me money!!! Am I being unfair / bridezilla? I feel I'm forever the pushover and I'm so sick of it I feel I'm going to loose it with the wrong person soon.

I've hardly any money left in the bank for food, we unexpectedly had our 3rd baby 5 months ago, I have 3 children under 5, waiting to find out if we can buy this house, got the wedding coming up in 3 & a half months.....just a bit much really.

Thanks for reading if you have got this far x

Ok, first of all take a deep breath and step back from the situation. You need to sit down with your H2b and think is this really something you want to do? It's as simple as that. If you come to the conclusion that it is then screw everyone else and just do it. Remember it's your special day, its for you and your H2b not anyone else. xx

I sometimes doubt myself because my MOH is quite honest with me and I rant about all this to her but she sort of umms and ahhs in the right places on this subject but its because she doesn't really get money. She lives with her parents at the moment and has no children etc and she is so laid back it can drive me crazy lol I love her but she doesn't get it so I wonder am I over reacting? I just feel like the rest of them are not interested and I hate hate hate chasing money of them, I feel like they are doing me a favour but they are not! One of them lives up the road and I never see her, she is not interested at all, hasn't tried her dress on and I kick myself for even asking them! I should have had the guts to just have who I really wanted and not all of them.

Ah well I feel slightly better for ranting. Thanks so much for replying. I'm going to talk to h2b about what to do tonight. We already have our honeymoon booked paid in full...I'm tempted to see if we can get married while we are there, spend the money to turn one week into two and take the kids with us....I don't know though.....x

Hi hun, I can really identify with what you're saying. I had similar issues too and looking back now I feel I was a total mug to spend the money that I did on the bridesmaids (dresses, shoes, bouquets, hair and makeup, hairslides, jewellery, lip gloss!!). They really didnt give too hoots how much I spent and were not supportive to me and caused me upset. I brushed it all under the carpet for the sake of the wedding being too close. It stressed me out so much and was very down. Now I look back and see how totally let down I was and now just 5 months on, one bridesmaid barely speaks to me and I cant believe I spent that kind of money on them.
Its up to you hun, you can either power on through and focus on the wedding day and know that it will be a fantastic day for you and h2b regardless of your bridesmaids. OR you can sit them all down, and have it out with them and tell them you are really unhappy. If they are good friends, they will realise you're not a bridezilla just getting stressed out with them being unfair on you. I would suggest you have it out with them and dont cancel your day because of them hun. Tell them if they dont pay you the money by a certain date, you'll have to take the dresses back for a refund.
Big hugs honey xxxx

Talk to the H2B, and then whatever you decide, even if you can't decide, I think you need a nice relaxing bubble bath (or something similar) to relax destress and definitely not think about money or bridesmaids for an hour or so! And then come back relaxed and happy with whatever you decide!

what an awful situation, i really feel for you.It is awful feeling pressured into making a decision your not happy with. But like everyone has said sit down with you oh and really discuss everything about your wedding and try to make a decision only you two are happy with. It is your day so put yourself's before anyone else.
If that means sacking your bridesmaids and getting married abroad, if this is what will make you feel happier than this maybe the road you both need to go down. Those that care about you are the ones who will understand and accept your decision whatever that may be.
xx

If you are feeling like that then you need to talk to your h2b. Weddings can cost a fortune if you let them and yes you're right, it's mainly spent on other people. Can you get a package deal somewhere to bring the cost down? We had a package deal for the ceremony, 50 daytime guests with a 3 course meal and incidentals like linen etc and 100 night time guests with pie and peas at a cost of £2012. I just got my MOHs dress of the bay for £15, and my bm's dresses off the jungle site for 10 each.