this might be quite long but here it goes.i have 3 bridesmaids and i knew who them 3 was going to be from the start but i have this one "friend" who i was quite close to but then grew apart and it was one of them things i put my hands up i didnt contact her very much and she didnt contact me very much then me and h2b got our own place in december and she offered to help me decorate like i did with her 1st house but then i think it was an empty gesture as she never contacted me again after that and then from december i didnt hear anything from her then recently i saw she was going through some problems with another friend so i offered an ear and went round to hers for a catch up etc and she then told me she was getting married (she knew i was ages ago) i was over the moon for her but she said she didnt have her engagement ring yet as he hadnt asked her but they have spoke about setting a date for April 2013 so we chatted about weddings and i told her about mine which is booked etc and offered her advice and she said where she wanted to get married then all of sudden she said i want you to be one of my bridesmaids so i said that would be lovely but then being the person i am i said oh would you like to be one of mine and she said yes and we chatted some more. thing is though i dont believe her wedding will come off in April 2013 and although we was quite close at one point since i went round 2 weeks ago i havent heard anything from her again and ill admit i havent contacted her but thats kind of my plan to see if she does contact me. my wedding day is a huge day of my life as all of you will know about yours and im not sure if i want this friend as a bridesmaid but i dont know what to do as i have said she can be and h2b hates her and i darent tell him yet. also at our engagement party she came with her 2 kids and all night was following me round saying please sit with me stacey dont leave me as i dont know anyone but it was awkward as i had to mingle with others aswell.

if you was in this situation what would you do and how would you bring the subject up with her? plus im also scared as she isnt the quietest ladylike person and im worried she will ruin my day.

HELP LOL sorry for being so long and thanks in advance. xxx

I don't really know what to suggest! What was it like when you went round to see her? Was it as though nothing had changed since the last time you saw her or did you find it awkward? I only ask cos I have a friend who moved away and I hardly ever see her anymore but when I do it is as though we were never apart if that makes sense? Unfortunately as we get older other things start to take over and it may not be that she isnt making an effort, but that other things are getting in the way, especially if she has children!
All I can say is it's your wedding day and if you really dont want her as a bridesmaid then you need to tell her, sooner rather than later! As for her not being the quietest or most ladylike person, neither is my best friend who will be my chief bridesmaid! She is completely opposite to me but she is my best friend and so I wont be embarassed by her and her being there wont ruin my day at all! Without her there my day wouldn't feel complete!
I think maybe the fact that you feel that way about her should tell you that you don't really want her as a bridesmaid. You could always use money as an excuse if you want! Tell her you can no longer afford to have her as a bridesmaid. Or tell her you feel she would be better being their with he children so she can make sure they behave.
At the end of the day it is up to you and good luck doing whatever it is you choose to do! xxx

thanks linzi-jo it seemed ok when i went round apart she bragged about stealing something and she was never like that before then she made a comment about me working full time and she cant see me through day but i said well i have to work lol didnt really know what to say. im not embrassed by her i just feel she could ruin the day as i know what she is like and i dont want that on my wedding day. i think i need to speak to h2b and explain and see what he thinks xx

thats a really good idea linzi-jo thank you. i might just have to use that one. xxx

but what do i do about when i hand my invites out just give her an evening one and hope she gets the hint? x