Hi Ladies,

Please help, I dont know what to do! Some of you may have seen me say the h2b dosen't really seem to be interested in the wedding plans at all!
Well last night things got a bit weird!!! I have been asking him on and off if he could just sit with me and do a draft guest list(he has a huge family and I don't know who is married to who, and who he actually wants there) all I got was the brush off - I'll do it tommorrow - its late now - Im busy - we dont need a guest list we invite the amount of people we can afford!!! - I know who I want you dont need the names, just that its 10!
All in all really annoying - so I stopped asking and just started looking for things, found out what type of dress I want and where can get a bargin. finding venues and trying to collect prices etc, things that I would like, personal touches.

Everytime I have asked for him oppion I get nothing - by nothing I mean, he gives me the brush off, he wont look at me, he either grunts at me or shouts at me that its too early and he wants to find out how much money his family are dontating to the wedding!!!
Last night I had asked him for 5 mins to just sit down and tell me what he imagined for our wedding ( firstly he said just me) then carried on to tell me I was being a complete idiot wnating to plan anything yet!! he googled it and a load of people sa it could be done in in month!! apparently its easy!! I tried to explain to him that there are things like my dress that take 2 months, the cake, sorting out a florist etc that takes time inviting guests! (his reply - they do it all the time on that don't tell the bride show) I dont actually want to book anything yet, I just want to know what I lke and gather as many ideas that I can!

I am also so looking forward to this wedding, I have had so much c**p over the past few years mainly with my heart conditon and I have had 3 ops in the past years and am due for another one in the next month or two, I want to look forward to something, and to share in a bit of excitement with the only other person who really should be excited too!!

Am I in the wrong - I have'nt really spoken to him about it for the past month just the odd question when he seemed to be in a good mood! (ts a good way to put him in a bad mood) He says he is interested but there is no interest on his face and he is one of these people who when he is interested he throws himself into it completley - he will google it and spend hours reseacrhing it!!

I dont know what to do I asked him if this is actually wanted, to which he replied I wouldnt have brought a ring if I didn't!! he says he wants to get married but I get the complete opposite reaction to things!

Thanks for letting me rant this - if you have any advice I would appreciate it!!

Lx

I think he needs to get his head out of his ar*e - we've got lots planned and deposits paid, we booked the venue in January and dont get married until next September... if you want particular people/suppliers you need to do it early or you risk missing out on them. And he shouldnt be fooled by the 'dont tell the bride' show - people will be well scripted in advance whether they sign a contract to say it's all the husbands doing or not. I'll bet half the suppliers have already been prebooked albeit deposits arent paid until later, and all the relatives will definitely have been given the heads up on when the wedding will be. Even if it was last minute, they shows wouldnt show you how many guests cant go because of late notice, or which suppliers are unable to take the job because they're already fully booked. He needs to get his finger out and start thinking seriously about it x

Print the brides checklist and then show him what actually needs doing. 12 months time that makes august. we booked our venue in may and they were already fully booked throughout July and August. You at least need your venue booked and your photographer they also book up early.

If it helps, mine isn't interested either. Oh he wanted a say in some things like the venue, menu, colours etc but now I can't pin him down to talk about it for love nor money! Adam doesn't really 'want' to get married in so far as he never thought he would and its not something that is hugely important to him. He's doing it for me, because he knows its important to me and it will make me happy which is why he finds it difficult to muster up an interest as, in his words, its my day and he wants it to be right for me. Perhaps yours is the same, he's not interested because really he's doing it to make you happy and as long as you're happy he's not really bothered :o) He may get angry because it just reminds him of the huge commitment he's making, I know Adam has said that its a bit daunting when he thinks about it but he doesnt mind.

Hope you sort it out xxxxx

i think you are in the right. he is on a cloud somewhere. to get the decent venues and suppliers for photo, video and bands/dj etc you need to start booking up to TWO years in advance. We personally have everything other than rings and suits done, obv lots of final details, but hubby to be prefers it this way as now we have a final cost of things that are accurate and not best guesses. Hope you get it sorted hun x

I tried to explain all of that before!!!
It so annoying, and because we only have a small budget, I hve been in touch with venues etc to be informed of any cancellations or special offers, but I want to try and get most things set in my head so that if we did get a short notice cancellation or offer, we can go with it!!! but to him I am speaking double dutch!!

Lx