My OH has never given me cause for concern when it comes to being faithful but in the last few months hes become quite neglectful of us, if anybody read my last post you will realise how sad im feeling at the moment.
When at the start of year we started to discuss Stag do and Hen nights etc, we had a really good conversation. At the time I didnt want a hen but OH wanted me to because he really wanted a stag and didnt want to feel guilt about it. So we compromised on a night out and a possible over night stay.
I planned my hen with two weeks as per our agreement.
Hes been dragging out his stag for months, he wanted to go cliff scrambling and have a night over somewhere in Wales, which was a happy compromise for us both. I am not the type to get fussy about strippers either as men are like children when they get together so I knew itd be kind of harmless fun.
His "mates" which is a term i really want to use loosely at the min have badgered him and badgered him about a stag do abroad for months, which he knew I wasnt happy with. With the wedding budget being so low and the fact when he has a drink he drinks to the point where he cannot stand straight and the thought of him abroad completely plastered made me feel sick with nerves.
Two nights ago, after months of talking to his mates until midnight he turns around to me and tells me he wants me to talk to his friend to see what theyre planning because theyve just opted not to wait for him to decide and book something and take it upon themselves to sort it out.
So I talk to his friend and tell them what OH wanted for his stag, with the belief that this was something he really wanted where his friend then starts to make me out as a liar because apparently OH has been agreeing to going abroad during their nightly talks.
So I get emotional, sadness already there this just tipped me over the edge, not only has my OH lied to me and completely gone against anything we talked about but hes put me in an awkward position with his mates who now think of me as the controlling woman in his life who wont let him do anything,
Then only last night he informs me he's going to Greece- Corfu i believe and hes having three nights and two full days there, on the phone to me not to my face and in front of his mates. I was pressured to agree with it.
I foolishly google where hes going and lo and behold its like some party boy location with booze cruises and drinking games.

His "best man" term again used loosely is a horrible horrible man. Since I met OH 12 years ago he has continued to ruin our relationship, telling OH stuff like im a cheat and trying to flirt with me online in order to get some sort of rise out of me.... not to mention calling me a fat (C WORD) only 5 years ago.
I already cannot stand this man but I let OH have him as a best man as some sort of gift, if you will, for my OH because it seemed like it meant something to him.

So now im left with my OH going to some tacky party location for three drunken nights with a best man who cannot be trusted to keep my OH devoted to me. Maybe devoted is the wrong word. OH is easily pressured into stuff from fear of being called a few choice words and under the thumb etc. Im scared he'll be pushed into something when hes drunk, again strippers are not an issue. But Ive seen these shos when men are drinking alcohol from between a womans breasts and pretending to hump them for a shot.

When i aired my views with OH about how upset im feeling hes just dropped this on me, he acts like i should just get over it. He never puts my mind at ease, I feel really annoyed and hurt.
Am I over reacting? I dont know what to think.

wow, i would so not be happy about this and i am totally with you. guys take their stags way too far these days, what happened to a night out in town?. If this was my H2B i would not be ok with it and i actually like his friends so i cannot imagine how you are feeling. Even mates aside i think it's pretty selfish to spend that amount of money on a hen/stag (unless both are ok with it) i would much rather it go towards honeymoon or something for the two of you entering married life. from the sounds of it talking to him really wouldn't help, honestly i feel so sorry for you and the position he has put you in

Oh Hun I really feel for you and completely understand why you're feeling so down - I would be too! One thing that struck me when reading this is that I know you're unhappy because he lied about where he's going, but is there also more to it? You say that he gives in to peer pressure; are you worrying about what he might do whilst he's away? I guess what I'm trying to say is do you trust him? It's also naughty of his friends too! He has agreed to marry you and they should respect that rather than getting him to potentially do stupid things for 'banter'.

I agree with Nicola, I think you need to have a good chat with him about everything. If he is man enough to ask you to spend the rest of your life with him then he also should be man enough to tell his friends that too. Good luck lovely, I hope you get it sorted xx

I trust him 99.9%.
On his 30th this January I planned a surprise party for him, loads of people showed up etc and got him absolutely wasted. I had spent so much time organising everything by myself I wound up with flu because id been so worked up with it all, I hung around to the end of the night because he was a mess.
Yelling at everyone at how much he loved them and wanted to give them an individual speech each, it was awkward but I let him roll with it.
By midnight everyone had gone and his "best mates" where left, my OH was being dragged into a taxi to arry on his drinking session in town. By that time he could hardly stand up but they kept saying theyd make him throw up and carry on.
I was fuming that theyd try to do that to him, so they abandoned me and my drunk OH and I was left to literally carry him home by myself. I got him home- I cant even remember how I did it and he threw up spectacularly all over the bathroom, bath toilet floor and walls before literally crawling to bed because he couldnt get up.

Times that by three nights in a foreign country not to mention his "best man" is involved this time. The man who has continually tried to break us up for 12years.
I went out last night, I didnt tell him where I was going I just went out with the girls and left him with the children. It felt good to look back and see him have a slight sense of panic. Today hes out with his friend on his bike so maybe when he gets in I will try and talk to him again, but yesterday he could tell I was peed off and told me to "go home and think about what your saying to me" like I was a child.

I'm venting, my apologies. This whole situation has really riled me up.

So sorry your feeling like this he really should understand how this makes you feel and respect your wishes.

I personally am okay with my other half going abroad for his stag do. I think you need to trust him n trust that he loves you. I mean his getting married to you.

I do think that the way he has gone about it is all wrong and hurtful. There was no need to lie. Your concerns are valid by the sounds of his best mate. I would not be happy if my partners so called best mate was sagging me off and trying to cause us problems. I think you need to try and talk to him and get him to understand where u are coming from. He may suprise you. Maybe even come up with an alternate idea that he would be happy with??

glad he's going to sit down and talk it out with you, hope it goes well x

So yesterday I went in with a cool head on, we sat down and went over everything.
Unfortunately for me I am the one who always backs down so I plastered on my smile and im trying desperately not to google all the antics that goes on at these places.

I just have to not think about it and I know I'll get through it, Id hate him going away with me feeling sour about the whole thing.
We made up. Twice.
So now it's just a countdown until this weekend, I just have to think- In three weeks it'll all be over with.
(Despite all of a sudden an extra night being added on to this stag which he failed to mention I just have to grin and bear it I guess)

Good grief im just glad I have you ladies! xxxx

Me either Danielle, ive already started planning my girls holiday though. He said "fine" through gritted teeth.