Wedding Forum - I dont know anymore :O( long sorry...

I have tried to write this about 3 times and each time gave up cos dont know how to write it, so here goes, sorry if i confuse you lol...

I think h2b has a drink problem, and 2bh its been getting to me since we got together. He was changed onto monthly pay last month so we have been struggling with money, all bills are paid but come the end of the week we dont have much left. Well today we had £4 left so he took it to work for his dinner money, but we have ran out of nappies so I have borrowed £5 off my dad until tomorrow so we can get some more in... H2B asked me could I ask my dad to lend him £6 until wednesday- so he could buy some lager. I kicked off saying how could he ask to borrow money so he could have a drink, but he doesnt think that was wrong. Its not like he hasnt had a drink for a while cos he had 1 on friday and saturday. Before that he had had 2 drinks during the week and we have an agreement where he will only drink on a weekend. Last week I gave up and said he could drink whenever he likes but it seems like he has taken that too far and would have a drink every night if I let him. I suppose ive just had enough and dont know what to do. He knows I cant stand to be around him when he has had a drink but would still rather do that than make me happy. im just fed up and have had a pretty cr@p weekend and i dont even know why but he hasnt even asked me whats up.

I have lost my *** drive after having our daughter who is nearly 3 so we hardly "do it" and when we do its usually after he has pestered me for a few days but he hasnt even tried for over 3 weeks. I just keep thinking he doesnt care anymore

Hugs hun hope you get sorted i think you both need a big heart to heart xx

aww hun, i dont know what to say, but 32 cans is lot my h2b was the same only drank when the kids were in bed cause he'd been at work all day he didn't need to drink etc etc , sending you big nig hugs i hope you sort it out with him hun

I think 32 cans is alot - between us we maybe go through 4 cans and a bottle or two of wine a week - This week its none as neither of us have been bothered. Sit down with him and really thrash it out - I do think its awful that he asked u to ask ur dad for money for drink - i'd kill rich if he said that to me - I really hope you work it out huge hugs xxx

Hope you can get things sorted out, must be so difficult for you. Hugs. x

Yeah i know how you feel. I am the one who works but martyn is pretty much always drinking. I have told him to cut it down or he gets none. I dont mind one every now and then. Like tonight i came home from work to him drinking but when i asked if he got my coke he said no you left me no money and i bought the beer out of mine. Well the last time i checked it was my money and you just never give me my change from the shops

Oh no hun! Sounds like you have quite a situation there and it is obviously getting you down! My H2B used to drink a lot and I would tell him all the time not to and ask him to stay home once in a while, but then he would buy cans - it turned out he was under a lot of pressure at work and nearly lost his job due to lack of business.

I felt bad for all the times i nagged him once I knew what was going on and we talked for hours about it. I think he felt better once we spoke and now he still drinks occasionally but not as much as before and he makes a conscious effort to ask me if its ok.

It may be the case that your H2B is on a bit of a downer at the moment and could maybe do with a long heart to heart - you need to tell him about how you feel.

Big hugs to you hun!! we are all here for you! xxxxxxxxxx

Thanks everyone. I would understand if he was under work pressure but up until the last few weeks I know thats not the reason. He doesnt go out drinking and he thinks I should be grateful for that. I have told him over the past 4 years how much it gets me down, and at 1 point my son was telling his nan that his dad does drugs (lager in the fridge all the time) because he had learnt in school that alcohol was a drug.
We used to argue over it so bad that he started to hide any he brought into the house and would wait until I went to bed to get them out but that didnt last as im not stupid.
I only stay with him because I love him but I dont know how much more its going to keep us together.
I think he has been on here this morning reading this because it was the only 1 light pink on the whole front page and I hadnt read any of the last messages.
In a way I guess I know that talking to him is not going to work, I was just tired of not having anyone to talk to so thank you xxx

hey hun big hugs hope ur ok message me if you want to have a chat xxxxxxx

We have had a good talk and he has agreed to only drink on 1 night over the weekend and that will be it. ive told him he can pick a day every friday, lets see how long that lasts for though. thanks everyone for all the advice, if he steps out of line again i will let you know my address so you can come kick his @rse lol xx

so glad you both have talk it out hun

Im glad you got to speak to him and sort it out. Its good that he understands and has made an agreenment with you about it! Fingers crossed he sticks to it.

Let us know if he steps out of line again and we will ascend on your house ready to kick his bottom for you!

Big Hugs Hun & Good Luck! xxxxxx

Hiya hunni glad that the drink is sorted for now but as for the s e x drive maybe you should talk to your GP is you want your intimate relations to be as they were before your little one. Also make it clear to the man that your drive is low so he knows what's going on he may try to help you unwind a bit more before trying to coax you into it. He shouldn't pester you for it though if you don't want it it's not your fault. Hope he gets his ar*e in gear for you hun! xxx