Well today it's my dad's birthday, i went up there to see him and give him his presents and he drops the bombshell that he isn't going to give us the full amount he first agreed to but is only giving us half of it instead. Now i know i shouldn't sound ungrateful and thankful that he is even giving us help but with 8 weeks until we have to pay everything what am i going to do now???
I know i sound like a spoilt brat but i have never asked my dad for anything in my whole life. My mum and dad have been divorced since i was 8 and he has never once helped me or my brother out. My sister from his new marriage has just recieved an Ipad just as a gift and has just been on holiday with them yet he is cutting the money he promised me down. I love my sister don't get me wrong and it's not her fault, but it also isn't my fault that my step mum has poisoned him.
When I asked him if he could stretch to cover the rest (it is not like he hasn't got it!!) he said that he would have to ask my step mum, I told him that he is my dad and he should be the one making decisions about my wedding not her!!! My mum is going mental!!!
I'm not going to hold my breath, he won't budge I know it. I'm not even angry i'm just upset and hurt to be honest!!! I hope i'm not coming across spoilt as i am far from it, i am just at the limits of my budget and i've cut back so much that I don't know what else to do.
Thanks for listening xxx
Worked together, fell in love with each other!
13th October 2012 I become Mrs Daniels!!
CommentAuthorLisa Ramos
Trust me I have seen some proper spoilt brats on here, and you are definitely NOT one of them. How can he wait until 8 weeks before?
I love my lickle Ava
CommentAuthorjodie b
You don't sound spoilt and I'm sure it's some shock to why has he left it so late? Whats the difference you now need to find if you don't mind me asking is there a way it can be made up? Xx
CommentAuthorGemmaL48
He was originally giving us £3000 towards the wedding but has now decided to give us £1500, me and OH still have £1000 of our share to pay so it means us finding £2500 in the next 8 weeks when things have to start being paid!! I honestly don't know what i am going to do. I have looked at the budget to see if we can cut anything off but as we have sent out the invites we can't cut off guests, not that we could anyway as we already cut people off in the beginning, and everything else has already been down sized etc. We really are up s**t creek without a paddle!!! xxx
Worked together, fell in love with each other!
13th October 2012 I become Mrs Daniels!!
CommentAuthorLegoWife
That's really harsh of him to wait till now to decide he's not giving you the money he promised! I hope you get it sorted some how :(
If he can't give it to you can he loan it to you? Or as a Last resort what about an interest free c card? It sucks you now have extra stress xx
CommentAuthorElle23
oh hun, you don't sound spoilt or ungrateful! My dad is exactly the same He only has me as my sis has nothing to do with him so you would think he would want to help us out but NO!!!! He has just had a pay out of over £10k too but still not a peep!!!
Can you not sit & talk to him. Explain that as he promised you that money, you have budgeted on that and have the rest sorted but to tell you now he is not giving you the full amount he said, you are at serious risk of having to postpone the wedding as the extra funds are just not there x
Good luck with it. hope you get sorted My mum is also going crazy that my dad is not helping out!
To be wed on our 10 year anniversary! 23.08.2013
CommentAuthorbiochrissy
aw sweet, your not spoilt. its not nice thats he's done this 8 weeks short of the wedding, you have planned your budget around that money so your bound to be upset and worried. i do hope he changes his mind or you step mum will agree to pay more. i can sort of relate to your problem, it was only two weeks ago i told my dad not to give me the last 1k he said he was giving me (he was giving us 2k not inc bits he bought) because i found out he is having to help pay for family to stay in hotels and their travel cost of getting here from the other end of the country. i just thought it was so unfair of him forking all that out i told him not to give us it and we changed our sit down meal to a cold fork buffet, cancelled the wedding car and various other little bits to compensate.
but my fingers are crossed for you that your dad will continue to help like he said he would. and i hope his wife see's it from your point of view too. big hugs sweet xxxx
Mrs Colegate, Minty's other half hehe
So proud to now call myself Seans Mrs Colegate
11.08.12
CommentAuthorGemmaL48
I think my OH is going to try and get an appointment with the bank for a loan. I don't think we would be able to get a 0% credit card as my credit isn't great from when I was younger!! I am so stressed out right now I just want to cry and me and Tom just to and do it on our own!!!!
Worked together, fell in love with each other!
13th October 2012 I become Mrs Daniels!!
CommentAuthorLisa Ramos
How heartless must his wife be? Does she really think that you would be able to find £1500, with 2 months to go.
I love my lickle Ava
CommentAuthorShirleygirly
That's a terrible thing to be told 8 weeks before the wedding and I totally agree with everyone else you are not spoilt. If you were you wouldn't have even thought yourself that way. It's such a shame that you have to get a loan to pay for it. Is there nothing you could sell to help you out? I know it's a long shot but a friend of mine was struggling to pay off the rest of her venue cost and so she went through her house and found some things that her and her h2b didn't have use for any more and she raised half the amount by selling what she thought was utter carp.
I can't wait until 29/06/2013
The day I marry the man of my dreams!
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
That's pretty unfair of him to wait so close to the wedding before telling you he is dropping the amount by that much, especially when things have already been booked.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs M
i can't believe he has gone back on his word! my dad promised me £1000 for my dress but i never banked on it and just budgeted without it to be honest but that was over a year ago. he did give me the money 6 months ago when he got a pension pay out and that was great it freed loads of money for us.
8 weeks to go and he drops a bomb like this, i take it step mum doesn't like his past or anything in it i.e you your mum etc? i see a little bit of the cinderella story coming through here she doesnt' want you to outshine her and her daughter so she has poisoned him against you. i hope that you can sit down and talk to him about it and as if you can loan it as you were budgetting to that money and have now been left in lurch with only 8 weeks to go (2 pay days)
8th September 2012 I married my best friend
1st September 2014 our little family grew by one
Women are made to be loved, not understood. - Oscar Wilde
CommentAuthorOWB
I'm so sorry to hear that your dad has done this, with such a short time left. I really hope you manage to sort it x
If only life could be one long tea break
CommentAuthorGemmaL48
I remember when me and my brother were young we went on a trip with dad and his wife and we wanted an ice cream, we were made to pay for our own out of our pocket money from home!! I thought this was going to be his way of making up for never being there or helping us when we were younger but obviously not. His wife hates everything in his 'old life' she even told his best friend when they first met that they didn't want to see him anymore as he was part of dad's past!!!!! I only found this out about 6 months ago, cheeky bi**h!!!
Tom is going down to the bank this morning to make an appointment for a loan, so hopefully we will be able to sort something out xxx
Worked together, fell in love with each other!
13th October 2012 I become Mrs Daniels!!
CommentAuthor~feebee~
Good luck hunni, that was very unfair of your dad to do that to offer you the money and then only give you half of it especially with only 8 weeks to go :( x x
Finally Mrs Grove :)
CommentAuthormillz090
Thats really bad of him.... he should never have agreed to give you money if he didnt have it and then to leave it 8 weeks before?! Im upset for you honey as thats unfair.. i would tell him how your feeling so off your chest !!
Step-mothers are funny and jealous of previous lifestyles and children, my step-mum is the same. My dad's previous life is non of her concern me included so she wont be coming to our wedding, i have invited her but she declined. She didnt think it was nessecary to tell me my dad had a heart attack as not her place to communicate with me?! WTF !! I just rise above it and leave them to it now as been like this since i was 9 !!
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthorMrs brown - 19/08/12
Thats so wrong of him with a few weeks to go! Really hope you are able to get it sorted! Let us all know how everything goes xx
CommentAuthorGemmaL48
What is wrong with these women, it's absolutely pathetic!! He does have the money, she just won't let him give it to us. I hate coming across as though i'm spoilt as i'm really not but with 8 weeks to go we are now really panicking!! :(
Worked together, fell in love with each other!
13th October 2012 I become Mrs Daniels!!
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
omg! I hope you get sorted soon hun xx
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorTsukijin
Not spoilt at all, he offered you that money and you were counting on it! Step mum shouldn't get a say if it's your dads money and it's really bad that he is pulling the rug from under your feet with such little time left. I agree with the others about a loan but personally I'd tell my dad what I thought of his actions and how disappointed I am that a grown man needs permission from his wife to help his kids out :/
eru, shiteiru ka? shinigami wa ringo shika tabenai?
^_^
CommentAuthorMrsDanks
You sound FAR from spoilt believe me, he has put you in a bit of a dilems really, I can't believe he would wait till 8 weeks before to come to this decision. I hope he changes his mind, and if not I hope you find a solution quickly to find the money yourself somehow, I will keep my fingers crossed for you. xx
CommentAuthorHalebob85
I'm with Tsuki on this on. I would sit down with him, without b***h in law there, and have it out with him. Tell him that the weddings postponed because you can't find that money in 8 weeks. You don't know when it'll rearranged for. Guilt trip him. Tell him you are disappointed that he promised wht he did and then went back on it. He's supposed to be your father, father's aren't supposed to make their daughter's feel like this. Turn on the tears. It's worth a try. And you don't sound spoilt at all.
Met August 2003
Started planning 2012
Getting married 29th June 2014
CommentAuthornatalie2614
Aww you are certainly not a spoilt brat, just a stressed out daughter who's been majorly let down because your dads wife has poisoned his mind! I hope you manage to get the loan, if not an interest free CC could be another option. fingers crossed for you hun xx
Married my best friend 05.04.2013
CommentAuthorLinzi-jo
No way are you spoilt! If it was a year before the wedding and you were saying 'my dad is only giving me £1500 when I expected £3000" the you would be spoilt. But he promised you that money and has left it until 8 weeks before to tell you he is now halving it, and that is not fair at all! You were counting on that money! I would tell him that by him not paying that you are going to have to postpone the wedding meaning that you will lose more money than he is giving and so will people who have been invited who have booked time off work and rooms etc. Ask him if he wont give you the money can he at least loan it to you as otherwise you wont be able to find it in such a short time frame. And your step-mum sounds like a complete b***h! You are his daughter too, it doesnt matter if you are hers or not but it should not be one rule for one and one rule for the other, he should treat you both the same! xxx
Got together 14.02.2008
Got engaged 31.12.2010
Will become a Mrs on 30.08.2014 xxxxxx
CommentAuthorbridalmiss
If it's any consolation, it's 12 weeks to your wedding, and 8 weeks till you need to probably pay balances off. If need be, why not talk to your suppliers and ask if you can pay 80-90% off in 8 weeks, then find the rest to pay off the balance before your wedding? Or ask family/friends who were going to give you money as a gift to give it to you in advance, or maybe even as a loan till after your wedding so you can pay them back?
CommentAuthorFuture mrs mac
You are not spoilt in any way!!Cant believe your dad has done this to you with only 8 weeks left! Does he not realise the problems this will cause?x
CommentAuthorKarenB9
No way are you spoilt !!! if your dad had said he was only going to lend you £1500 at the begining then you would of budgeted to that amount. I think like most of the lovely ladies on here you should explain to your dad what en effect this would have on your wedding day and at least try to get him to lend you the money if he dosn't want or is not allowed to give it you. fingers crossed and he will see sence and help you out one way or another x
CommentAuthorClareS
awww hun you're not spoilt. The first thing us brides do is set our budget to work with so there's no hidden surprises we need to find money for. Any news from the bank? hope you managed to get it sorted. x
CommentAuthorRaggedyAnne
You dont sound like a spoilt brat to me, just hurt and disappointed....and worried.
its not fair to leave it til 8 weeks before the wedding to tell you, when you have obviously tied your money up elsewhere...... Just explain to him that had he told you sooner, you would have budgeted differently......maybe if he wont give it all to you, do you think he would pay the £1,500 and thenloan you the other £1,500? seeing as he left it so last minute.
I can resist anything but temptation
CommentAuthorGemmaL48
Tom went down to the bank today and although they refused a loan they have given him a credit card for £1750! It's not 0% but at least we can pay off what my dad said he'd give. I have spoken to my mum and told her that i don't want to ask for his money, it may sound stubborn but i don't want him to think that i need him! If he offers it then i'll take it but i'm not grovelling to him. I hate talking about money and i've never asked him for any before so i'm not about to start now. She is not happy she keeps saying that he doesn't deserve to walk me down the aisle and that if he is only paying half of what he said then she is going to ensure that he only stays for half of the day!! Now i've calmed down i realise how little he feels for me compared to his 'other' family!!!
I just want my day to go ahead smoothly, i want everyone to get along but i don't think that's going to happen!!! xx
Worked together, fell in love with each other!
13th October 2012 I become Mrs Daniels!!
CommentAuthorVelcro
edited
Ask your mum to walk you down the aisle, tell him he's dissapointed you too much for that honour!
glad you've found a solution, even if its not ideal, I wouldnt want to go grovelling either, but he'd be getting a peice of my mind for going back on his word like that, and so close to the wedding too.
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorbiochrissy
oh my, i cannot believe she would do that gemma, how low. it's awful that she has basically brainwashed your dad to think that way. im so sorry you n your oh have had to take out an interest paying credit card, but i suppose on the plus side it is helping your in the now financial dilema. i hope your dad can come to his senses in the mean time so he doesn't leave you with this debt just cus he hasn't got the nads to stand up to his oh for his daughter. so sorry hun, really i am. again, big hugs xxx
Mrs Colegate, Minty's other half hehe
So proud to now call myself Seans Mrs Colegate
11.08.12
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
What a lot of stress that must have been for you!
I can't believe he didn't think of the situation he was pitting you in with only a few weeks to go!
Well, karma's a female dog and I'm sure it will come fund and bite him on his bum.
Glad you have found a solution, even if it's not ideal.
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthormelvis
oh no hunni :(:( strees!!!! were here for you dont you worry!!! and your dad should follow his own mind and not listen to step mum!!! she sounds like a right moo :(:(#
dont worry babes were here to listen and offer you help and support i hope it all gets sorted :( maybe if you explain to your dad its left you in a bad situation as you cant get the final balance together without that help, and suggest it as a 'loan' he could say hes lending you the differnece and youll pay him back, who knows maybe that arrangement will suit his wife and he can secretly make a decision about if it actually gets paid back ha! xx
Cant wait to be Mrs Melissa Mooney!!!
Hes The Man Of My Dreams
Kos 2013!
CommentAuthorGemmaL48
Thank you everyone. I am feeling ok now, i'm going to talk to him and tell him i'm disappointed that he has done this this close to the wedding, but i'm also going to tell him that I have never expected nor asked him for anything in my whole life, i'm going to explain exactly how i feel about him loving his 'other' family more than us and ask him why he never spends any time with us, why it's always me that has to go round there and he never comes to us. He barely see's his grandson yet when he see's him he wonders why he is a bit shy!! As for the money, i don't want it!! I'd rather know that we have done it without him reluctantly giving it to us. If he offers it i will take it but i'm not going to ask. I'm just going to say that i'd like to see how far my sister gets off £1500 for her wedding when she is older!!! I'm dreading sitting in the car with him on the way to the wedding for 20 minutes, but at the end of the day he is my dad and as much of a k**b he is sometimes it is his job to give me away!!!
On a lighter note though we have our meeting with the venue on Thursday to get final figures etc and decide where everything will be going!! I'm excited for that xxxxxxx
Worked together, fell in love with each other!
13th October 2012 I become Mrs Daniels!!
CommentAuthorbridalmiss
Personally I don't think it'll help you bringing up his other family and your sister etc - as for giving you away, it's not mandatory to have your dad give you away, I had my mum do it as my dad passed when I was younger, but a lot of brides now just walk unaccompanied down the aisle so if you don't want to walk with your dad you don't have to :-)
CommentAuthorOWB
Bridalmiss is right, just because he was involved in your conceptions doesn't give him an automatic right to be involved in your wedding day. I lost contact with my dad 10 years ago, he also has a new family. I've managed without him this long, so I can manage the few steps down the aisle without him too. Do what would make you happiest, not what is expected of you x
If only life could be one long tea break
CommentAuthorGemmaL48
I still love him he's my dad he's just disappointed and upset me. I'm not going to cut him out as i know he loves just not as much as he loves them. I am going to tell him how i feel and wait for his response. It's not about the money anymore, i'm just hurt now xxx
Worked together, fell in love with each other!
13th October 2012 I become Mrs Daniels!!
CommentAuthorKayleighW36
Awww I really feel for you. If it was me though I'd tell him where to stick his money (the amount that he's actually going to give you) and try and raise it myself. Can you not apply for a TES-CO Credit Card? They are offering 16months interst free or take out/extend an overdraft?
xxx
