If you are definite that you don't want to do it then you have to tell him. You need to make the right choice for you or you will just be unhappy,
Hope you get it sorted. Cx
CommentAuthorSoon2beMrsHall
babe i have just seen your post. If you dont want to be with him then i dont think you should marry him. If you finish with him then the 300miles away will help loads. Do you love him and if you do is it because he cant do the things like cooking and using the washing machine. Or dont you love him anymore
Cant wait to to marry Martyn
Wishes the wedding would come faster
XxX
CommentAuthorKerrylou
If you don't want to be with him then leave him and do it now, no sense in dragging it out. If you want to be with him but you have your doubts then call off the wedding for now and see if you can deal with your problems.
Your OP - hello!! You've bagsed yourself a 'typical' bloke that lives with his folks (I feel you, mine's the same) The fact of the matter is this - he's had his entire life with his mummy doing everything for him and suddenly he's been thrown into the real world and it's a bit of a shock to the system. When he's with you he has to be an 'adult' and that will rock his boat some, it doesn't make him 'bad' or 'immature' or 'incapable of a relationship', it means he has to adjust the habits of a lifetime and that takes some doing. It's by no means any sort of reason to cancel the wedding and leave him. Ross has just turned 30, show him a washing machine and he breaks out into a cold sweat, his culinary talents extend to fajitas and cheese on toast (thank goodness I'm a dab hand in the kitchen lol) and what exactly is a vaccum cleaner? He passed a remark the other night about some dust on my mantlepiece and I told him where the Mr Sheen and duster was and if he didn't like it to quit b1tching at me and do it himself (though I'm 37 weeks preggers with a 5 year old daughter, dusting is waaaaaaay down on my list of priorities) As for calling/texting/following you around, I'm guessing even though it gets a little overbearing at times it shows he cares and wants to be with you. If he didn't do those things then you'd probs get upset because you'd think he didn't love you.
If it's these things that are the issue in your relationship then talk to him, teach him the joys of housework/cookery (doing it together can strangely be quite good fun!) tell him that although it's nice he cares you sometimes need your space, don't just write him off because he's never had to do it for himself.
But if you're staying with him because you don't want to be on your own then that's a different kettle of fish altogether and you need to realise for yourself that you do NOT need a man to complete your life, you do NOT need a man to stop yourself from feeling alone.
Only you know exactly why you want out, if it's something you know can't be changed then leave him but if it boils down him not doing the washing up or whatever then you need to change your attitude as well, unless you find yourself one of those 1 in 10 billion men who IS a domestic God or you shack up with a g ay man then you'll encounter this no matter who you're with. And 26 is quite young to be getting wed in this day and age (as in people are waiting longer these days, not that you're too young) you're by no means an old spinster who's been left on the shelf.
Make the right decision for you but don't make a decision that you'll regret in years to come xxx
It's right what they say
"The course of true love never runs smoothly"
But if it had been easy then we wouldn't love each other as
much as we do right now - 1 week to go :D
CommentAuthorMrs Brakes
edited
Too true Kerrylou, My 16 year old son can cook, clean, iron, work a washing machine and assemble flat pack but before you all start forming an orderly queue, he's 'on the other bus', as H2B says. Sorry ladies.
Got married 11/11/11.
CommentAuthorBee
hope you get it sorted out. Try not to worry, there is someone out there that will teat you like you deserve to be treated. Hope your ok x
lol MzEden - if he likes older fellas I could hook him up with my brother ;) (ooh no, wouldn't inflict our kid on anyone haha) xxx
It's right what they say
"The course of true love never runs smoothly"
But if it had been easy then we wouldn't love each other as
much as we do right now - 1 week to go :D
CommentAuthorluvlifejen (mrs berr
well done you mzeden :0) my mum did it with all my brothers they can cook, clean, iron (better than me! lol) washing , change the beds, do the garden, diy! lol i think its important x
soon to be Mrs Berry 26.11.2011
CommentAuthorsammys
This person sounds like no man to me (sorry but I would never try to upset, but always tell the truth). He doesn't want to work? How is he going to afford to live with you and pay for a wedding? What is he planning on doing living off you supporting him? What happens when you go out together, you pay? I would kick him straight out and I will tel you why I feel so strongly about this. I went out with a complete waste of space for a year and half and I wouldn't give up on him no matter what because although it sounds silly it felt like a load of time wasted on him! He had never got himself a 'proper' job... or even a full time one for that matter. He was unemployed, lived with his parents, played video games all night, and slept all day. He was a complete waste of space but for some reason I thought I loved him, because I could't imagine him being with anyone else, not that I actually wanted him! The best thing I ever done was chucked him, now I feel sorry for any woman that gets stuck with him. I have been with my fiance for 3 years now, but last time I checked my ex is STILL living at home and unemployed!!... I would STILL be waiting for him to 'change' if I would have held on!!! Its hard once your engaged (not that I was... but I can imagine what it feels like) But I think right now the only part of him that you are in love with is the wedding. Your in love with the idea of being in love/a lovely wedding rather than him? Of course I can't tell how your feeling but If I felt so strongly about all those things that you wrote about him then this is how I would feel. Don't worry about what others will think just worry about yourself. (and if I am honest... how do your family feel about him? I think they might think your better off without him if he is like this! I am sure they don't want their daughter married to a sponger?) You do whats best for you, you seem like a lovely girl, and deserve better! (again I am only saying all these harsh truths because this bloke sounds exactly like my ex and it was the same story so Im sorry I don't mean to be so mean) xxxxxxxxx
CommentAuthorTattieSoup
I posted a link on your wall that you might want to look at. I hope things get better soon.
Ruth X
CommentAuthorChrissy
It sounds as if you know in your heart what you want? The girlies have given you some excellent words of wisdom. I just want to wish you lots of love and luck and hope that whatever decision you make will take you to brighter future xxxxx
JD is taken so I'll settle for being Mrs Marge :o)
CommentAuthorMrs Rebecca Hossfeld
If you are in different places, have different views in life you need to sit down together & try to at least be on the same path, yes opposites attract but if you can't agree on the most basic things in a relationship it may result in a lot of arguing & heartache.
He's a total mummy's boy, my hubby was in a way, but he was treated like a child by his entire family so he just went with the flow, yeah ok, he does not help hoover etc, but he's out at work all day so it's my job to do all the house stuff.
See with us, we know the value of compromise, we never get angry with each other, we have tiny disagreements but we always laugh at them because they are so silly but we can see why some other couples might explode over them.
For now I will continue to do the house stuff until I get residency & can work in Canada then we are going to split the house things between us.
As for your bloke follwoing you around, I dunno, that smacks of him not trusting you, if you have no trust in your relationship that's another thing that will be it's downfall hun.
I wish you luck & hope he realises that he's got a damned good woamn there before it's too late & leave him for something or someone that's going to treat you better.
x
CommentAuthorMonicaGeller
how you doing sweets? hope all is well?
question i suppose i want to ask is do you remember why you love him? and does that outweigh what drives you nuts?
maybe his mom needs to cut the apron strings to allow him to find who he really is and wants to be, hopefully that will be what you wish it to be.
sending you the best of wishes , hugs and positive thoughts s
CommentAuthorchani
hope everything's ok sophie xxx
CommentAuthorFuture Mrs Henderson
Hi and sorry but not a good post from me. I think if ur getting married thn u shud know tht the person u are marrying is the paerson u want to share the rest of ur life with. U don't seem to be the only one in this predicement thou. I have seen a few posts like this. I just don't understand why people agree to get married to people thy have issues with, thy either jst want the wedding or didn't know the person well enough before saying yes. Again i'm sorry for this post but think if u have issues with ur H2B u need to talk to him and make a dicission on wat u want. Hope u get it worked out whateva way it goes xx
