Since when did being a bridesmaid turn people into snotty demanding little madams, If i was asked to be a bridesmaid i would feel that privilidged that i would do everything I could plus more to make the bride happy, Its her day so i'd do what she asked but Noooooo not my bridesmaids, They have actually reducedd me to tears today......this is gonna be a long rant, i dont expect anyone to reply i just need to let off steam

I picked my 4 bridesmaids right fromt the start no questions asked, as i knew exactly who i wanted, My best friend who is my maid of honour, another close friend, my sister and my niece, and i think my niece is the only one who hasn't done anything to make me want to throttle her. So everybody was measured for their dress, they all said they loved the dress, and had no problem wearing it. The dresses cost me £169 each, anyway MOH gets pregnant (planned) when her dress came in it was too small, fair enough your pregnant, she has had the baby and had time to lose a bit of weight so that it fits on the second fitting (today) it fits but she decided she is going on a diet so chances are in 6 weeks time it wont bloody fit, why not go on a diet 10 weeks ago when your baby was born, why wait until your last dress fitting? My sister didnt like the way she looked in the dress (she is a big girl) so decided to lose weight, fair play to her she has lost 3 stone but now her dress hangs off her, My nieces dress was too small, i knew she had put on weight and that it wouldnt fit but despite me having words with my sister she still proceeded to watch her fill her face with crisps and chocolate, and dont even get me started on my other friend, She is now pregnant (not planned) she will be 7 monthe pregnant at the wedding, she had gigantic boobs anyway now they are evn bigger, her dress fits ok apart from the bust area which needs taking in but by the time the wedding comes round she will probably be too big for it, she refused to buy a bra saying that she couldnt get one in her size (GG) so she came to the fitting with a bikini top on so she has got to go back in 3 weeks as the woman couldnt tell what adjustments needed doing properly
So I have to pay £31 per dress to have them altered bearing in mind I have bought them 2 gifts (bracelet and earings), bought there shoes, dress, paid for their hair, nails and make up, paid for them to stay at the hotel the night before (£99) and i am taking them out for tea the night before the wedding i would have thought that perhaps one of them might have offered to help pay for some alterations. Nope. To top it all off the dresses are strapless with an option to wear the straps, my firend wants the straps because it supports her better and makes her feel more comfortable, I have asked if one other BM would wear the straps just for the ceremony and photos as i like things to look symetrical (my own fault i know OCD lol) but no all of them have refused. Then I get home and my MOH has text me a photo of her new tattoo A QUARTER SLEEVE OVER HER SHOULDER ARRRGGGHHH, now i have no problem with tattoo's i have 2 myself but FGS could you not wait another 6 weeks, now ive got to look at the eye sore on my wedding pics, My sis has just text me a photo of a hair style whe wants her hair cut like that she might have done tomorrow, and it includes shaving it at the back (Like Rhiannas) again why not wait, and then my friend has just rang complaining about the choice of fancy dress outfit for my hen do (which she has been doing since day 1) as she wont feel comfortable, dont like it, what if it dont fit. I have no idea what the outfit is cos my sister has organised it but she said its "one size fits all" so whats her problem.
I mentioned today about getting the dresses back after the wedding so i could sell them and the response i got from my sister was " I dont F****** think so, its mine and i am keeping my shoes too" Seriously who do they think they are, whilst writing this i have just had a text saying, I cant wear these shoes all day and night you will have to buy me some flat ones, oh i will will i, how about you shove the shoes where the sun dont shine and stay at home in your slippers.
I am so close to telling them all to sod off and i will just have my niece who hasnt once complained, They have had me i tears today, I am so sorry for the long rant but once i started it just kept coming Arrrrggghhhhh

wow they sound like total divas! i don't blame you for being annoyed!! I'm annoyed with mine for just not being interested- but yours are exceptional!
if you're paying for the dresses and want to sell them after don't ask them, just tell them to give you them back!!

Lol bridesmaidzillas.
Well, I'm a big green bridezilla and I don't care. "Do as you're told or do one :D" (Disclaimer: You need friends with a GSOH to get away with that one)

Seriously. Those dresses are yours, you get them back if you want to sell them, they can't keep them. They are your property, loaned to them for a specific purpose/occasion. I also think you should explain to them in no uncertain terms that you have paid for reasonable alterations and if they want to get thin/fat/pregnant then the next set of alterations are from their pocket. I also don't think you are unreasonable asking for the girls to wear the straps for a little while. Symmetry is so much tidier. x

OMG!!!! Who do they think they are? The Bride?

They are BM's ................the hint is in the title ...........MAIDS! Therefore behave like maids and do as the bride wishes and help her out, ease the stress not add to it!

My golly I hope they see sense or someone knocks it into them anyway!

Don't give in hun. Stay strong. Hope it settles so you don't get anymore headaches.

The only time you are allowed to turn bridesmaidzilla (and I say this because it's what I did for my sister when I was her MOH) is when the bride is getting upset by others which gives you licence to say lay off, leave her alone and you do as she wants! So you are BMzilla but to the brides advantage because you're backing her up.

xx

wow.... we thought two of ours were bad. It is your wedding, so within reason they should do what you want, esp since you are paying for everything and they should not be demanding you buy even more. I say sack them all off x

and you paid for the dresses etc so they are YOURS, not theirs x

On a similar topic... do your bridesmaids help you with planning? I've done *everything* myself and it's a lot of work. One in particular just doesn't seem interested at all and I feel like she's rolling her eyes (in her head) whenever I bring up weddings!

wow By now I think I would be in prison for murder if that was me.
Tell them to shut up and do what you want its your day. If they kick off tell them they are not BM's and show them the door.
Who do they think they are? trying to control your day.
xx

A new word for them.... Bridesmaidzillas...........

That is why I only have one bridesmaid (my sister) who has been happy with what dress and shoes I have picked for her (that what she tells me anyway), the flower girls are too young to complain. I haven't asked my bridesmaid to help me with planning my wedding because she is the type to make it all about her, but she is coming to wedding dress fitting next week. If I was you would just tell them where to go. If you paid for the dresses and shoes too right you should sell them when the wedding is over. If they want to keep them tell them to give you the money for them simple as really.

What about inviting them all around to yours and basically laying down the law? If they are all there at once, you can say what you need to say once and only once.
Explain how upset you are about all this and that its stressing you out.
Obv dont be nasty about it but just tell them exactly how you feel. Then hopefully they will buck their ideas up or at the very least shut up and stop complaining.
Failing that....... SLAP THEM :p xx

One of my bridesmaids has a pair of shoes already, that is what they will all be wearing, she bought them to go to a wedding next week as a guest......but trying to get them to just buy a pair of ivory patent shoes seems so difficult for them, but she can buy a pair to wear as a guest. she will be wearing the same pair to my wedding.....not a problem at all. my point is, she hadnt got the shoes, and it was only when her friend invited her to the wedding that she bought some, like it was obviously more important than her own dads wedding.

Plus she sorted out her hen night and paid £50 for a cake for her, but niether of his daughters has offered to pay a single penny for anything.
I would say no of course but it would have been nice to be offered.
My daughter and my sons girlfriend has offered to pay for there dresses, to which I said no.....it was payment enough to be offered.

Oh dear i hope they improve with age, maybe a good kick up the rear is what they need xx

Omfg, tell em they will all have to play in their bras (or bikini tops in some cases) and pants if they can't get the right kit! Seriously it's an honour to be considered close enough for a bridesmaid not a free for all. I'd perhaps chuck out an email letting htem all know how much this is all costing you emotionally and cash wise and that anymore complaints or alterations they'll have to see to it themselves or not bother being bridesmaids. it's a title that needs earning me thinks!

xx

Ahhh - i totally feel your pain....I ended up 'firing' my oldest friend from the bridesmaid position - she wasnt pulling her weight - literally! not gona hijack ur thred, but was really taking the pi....i bought her 2 dresses! and still she didnt lose weight!.......my sis is being awkward with times for this n that and does expect just to turn up on the day, my MOH got pregnant and is doing her damn hardest to lose extra inches to fit back into her dress bless her.and my daughter is fine.......and breathe.... i would tell them all straight prepare to be bridesmaig or bugger oft! xxx good luck xx

Its you day o hold be your way! I really feel for you. Hope they realise very soon how nice you been! Xx

I'm lucky i guess, i have one bm, my best friend, she's been soo enthusiastic about wedding too, she even found her dress on a VERY eh hem lol good site. fifty quid, i paid. Problem was, after buying her a gorgeous matching clutch bag (we decided to give her something she could use as a dressy outfit for after and bag instead of flowers) we had no money in pot for her shoes. She's unemployed but was more than happy to buy her shoes in a style i approved of cause she's getting a brand new outfit for free.

Sounds like your bms need sacking, a visible tat just weeks before your wedding, is she ufkin kidding?? there'd be murders i tell you! As for paying for extra shoes, extra fittings- tell them if they don't like it, dont participate. I'd just put it out there that there you have another friend in her size who'd look great in outfit and would actually support u and be proud to wear what you've chosen...

Good luck! bookmarking thread so keep us updated!xx

I'd tell them all to f off!!! Apart from your neice. She can stay :)

oh. my. good. lord! Seriously who on earth do they think they are?! they are lucky you spent that much on their dresses, never mind the alterations etc! If it were me, i would lay it out straight with all of them. 1. if they dont like it...tough! your wedding, your choice. 2. have some decency. if you lose/gain weight or get pregnant, pay for your own alterations. paying for the first set is acceptable, but paying for more because they chose to diet or scoff their faces is their fault! 3. shoes. well they can wear yours for the ceremoney and pics and wear whatever they like after, but AT THEIR EXPENSE! as for the tattoo, well not much you can do about that, except ask the photographer to photoshop it out maybe? other than that have her facing her arm away from the pics! If they dont like the conditionss, tell them all they are fired! CHEEK! i am angry for u!!!!!! As or them keeping the dresses and shoes, after the weddng, offer them the option of buying them, but only after. Before the wedding, they will pipe up with the old classic of, 'i bought it, its up to me' tripe! At the end of the day they are lucky you invited them to be bridesmaids, and it is NOT their wedding, they just have a part in it. GRRRR blood is boiling!

hope you stand up to them huni, yuour dream day isnt woth spoiling over some little brats!!