I'm in a little bit of a pickle here. My mum offered to buy our wedding cake when we first started planning the wedding which we were really grateful for, but after telling her what we want to get and getting a few quotes she is now saying we are stupid to want to spend the money and she can get them from tesco. Iv not got a problem with where the cakes are going to come from, they are just not what we want, we don't want cake stands and piped swirls. It won't fit into the theme. I know its because she doesn't want to spend the money too.
My maid of honour asked her mum if she would contact a cake maker she knew for a quote, I planned on saving the difference in price from the supermarket one and asking my mum if I could put towards it.
The thing is, now my maid of honours mum has volunteered to pay for it. Shes been a big part of my life for many, many years but it still came as a shock.
Do I
A) Tell my mum that she has said she will pay for it, would she pay for something else? B) Tell my mum that the cake is free as the woman is doing it as a favour as she is their family friend, THEN a few weeks before the wedding tell her I'v found out it wasn't free and that they were buying it me as my wedding gift. C) Say no to the cake completely and go with mums choice to stop her from getting hurt.
Or do I do something else....I'm really stuck!! Help
CommentAuthorKaya
I'd go with A hun x
Now Mrs Cobb!!!!!! :-D
CommentAuthorMrs Steer
The best thing you can do is be honest with your mum, you will end up living with the feeling you need to tell her and that wont be nice, on either of you. Is there anything of similar importance and value you could suggest to your mum. xx
Is now happily married to my gorgeous man
11-06-11
CommentAuthorspooney24
Tell her the truth as in go for A, its the best way all round I think. xx
26th December 2007 - the day I met my special man
8th August 2008 - the day he was mad enough to propose to me
24th July 2010 - the day I felt beautiful inside and out and
became Mrs Dickie for life. xx
CommentAuthorloubylou
B) that way explain that the money your mum was going to spend on a cake can go on something else. thats what i would do anyway :) x
21st October 2011 will be the best day of my life!!!
let them go 50/50 if it the cost is to much for your mum
im not seeking attetion i just like everyone looking at me
im married
im now Mrs Dove
no more wedding planning LOL yer right
CommentAuthorfuture-mrs-watson
I'd go with A and be honest with her. Then she will see that it is important to you :) x
CommentAuthormillwalljayne
I would say A, but try and explain to your mum about the theme and that you have your eye on something really specific. Or what about having your mums pre-sliced out the back so her cake still gets served to the guests? I know its not exactly the same but may soften the blow a bit if she does take offence? x
.."She'll promise you more than the Garden of Eden
Then she'll carelessly cut you and laugh while your bleeding
But she'll bring out the best and the worst you can be
Blame it all on yourself 'cos she's always a woman to me.."
CommentAuthorPuddleduck87
I don't think she would go 50/50 to be honest. She can be a bit funny about things. Yeah I just don't wanna hurt her feelings and sometimes, it can be difficult not to. My sister is doing my flowers so I could ask her to add to the flowers or even towards my dress....
weddings! Its not the planning thats the problem - its keeping everyone happy! lol
CommentAuthorKaya
You could ask her to pay towards your accessories instead. That way she'll be able to see what she paid for in all the pics :-)
Now Mrs Cobb!!!!!! :-D
CommentAuthorPuddleduck87
My accessories are my something old hun. Its my great grandmothers jewellry. x
CommentAuthorKaya
Ah that's lovely! Shoes?! x
Now Mrs Cobb!!!!!! :-D
CommentAuthornini
Go with A then you wont have the worry of getting caught out with the truth! Just explain that she has offered and as that is what she does as a job you have decided to hand it all over to her to take responsibility for. Then ask if your mum would like to contribute towards something more personal to you such as hair jewellery, veil or tiara. That way she can get to go with you when you choose it and you will be wearing it close to you all day. I would think that as long as she still gets to gift you something she wont really mind too much what it is.
CommentAuthorKaya
I had the same thing, my mum and nan offered to pay for my dress, my nan is paying for my dress and accessories. Then my mum wanted to buy my cake, my auntie is buying my cake! I'm sure we'll find something for my mum to pay for... just letting other people chose specific things 1st, as my mum will have more involvement in planning, so she can decide later on! :-)
Now Mrs Cobb!!!!!! :-D
CommentAuthorPuddleduck87
I'm gonna give her a ring tomorrow. You are all right. I was going to go with B and come clean afterwards because I would do without the stress but I suppose if she finds out shes going to be more hurt. x
CommentAuthorCroc
i would go for B simply beacuse it saves the stress ...
"better a witty fool, than a foolish wit" shakespeare
