We are planning to get married in 2014. I am planning it as we speak and my OH and I are going to look at wedding shows and venues as we would like to get it booked soon. My sister who lives with my mum in another town called for another reason but happened to mention that she and my mother met my aunt on my dad's side and told them I was going to get married. She then said that my mum had told her that my OH and I should get married in a registry office really simply without any fuss and then have a party in their town. But she said that my OH wouldn't be be happy with that. She didnt even think that I might want a special day. When I asked why she thought my mum felt that way, it was the money and the fuss. I feel really hurt why shouldn't I have the day I want WE are paying for it, we would never ask them for any money. Its not for a while either so why is she thinking of the fuss. I don't think that I am wrong for wanting a nice wedding, traditional style, I do not know how to tell them that i will do what I want the way I want it.
CommentAuthorShazk
I dont think ur wrong for wanting the day U want, everyone is different some want small thing others want everything and anything and what ever you want isn't wrong its u and other half day and that all that matters!!
With regards to telling mum how u feel I think u just need to be straight with her and explain that the comments had hurt u and that what u are doing is what u want, like u say u are Paying for it so what does it matter to ur mum if costing £100 or millions x x
Away with the flutterbys xxx
CommentAuthortrikstaniksta
Hi hun I'd just be honest about it, like you said that you guys are paying for your day so why not have it as you want it! x
CommentAuthorLaura JaneW
You just say exactly what you want hun. You tell your mum,you want a special day as it is the biggest day of your life and why shouldnt you have it when you are paying for it.
CommentAuthorTori
Think you need to speak to your mum Hun and set the record straight x
Thanks guys I'm going to be honest and say what I want. I think she's worried about the amount of people I'm not going to invite from her side of the family. I don't see most of them or even like them so they won't be coming. We are looking at 60 people for the day and max 100 for the night. We are even looking at hiring a hall rather than a hotel/ catered venue. I think what hurt most was the lack of insight that this is what i would want a church wedding with a nice dress rather than regret at doing what to ME would seem a cheapened day.
Thanks.
CommentAuthorAmyK
You're only going to do this once, right? So do it how you want it without any regrets!
My own mum keeps saying that our wedding venue (ceremony & photos after, reception somewhere else) is too expensive for what it is, and keeps telling me how she's researched our local registry office and it SO much cheaper... but I'm having to ignore it. At first part of me though 'yeah, she has a point' but then discussed with H2B and agreed we'd choose what WE wanted.
Besides, its YOUR wedding, a ceremony to show you're spending the rest of your lives together, not a 'party' to be hijacked by anyone else for their convenience.
Perhaps you could invite her down for a weekend, show her around some of the places you're considering, let her see how lovely the venues are, how much it means to you and how in love you & your H2B are... I've found my stepdad didn't take my relationship and the choices I've made in my life seriously until he came and really saw it all for himself. Maybe just remind your mum in the same way, but on your territory.
Good luck!
CommentAuthorNicholaP44
Definately UR DAY UR WAY!!! xx
Marrying "the 1" on 4th Oct 2013
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
ohhhhh hunni i really wouldn't worry about it .. my mother said couldnt we go to a reg office and then just have a meal in a pub !!!!
Don't say anything just ignore it. I wouldn't take it as a hurtful comment though as it seems to me she may be concerned about you and she might think you are getting into debt.
CommentAuthorTamster
yes this seems more about worry for you than hurtful comments remember in there day it was your best frock and people rallying round with a buffet at the local but if it does come up again just reassure her that you are paying not getting into debt and want it to be the best day of your life and for everyone to be happy about it that should put her firmly in the picture dont sweat the little things there is sure to be bigger stuff to sweat later :)
Unwrapping the best pressie ever December 7th 2013
CommentAuthornatalie2614
Definitly your day your way, the end of the day if you're paying for everything with your h2b then she has no say in how or where you do it and who you do it with. Stick to your guns xx
Married my best friend 05.04.2013
CommentAuthorCat
From what I have found with my mum, mum's tend to go through a range of emotions when it comes to a daughter's wedding and opinions change from one minute to the next, she might be thinking that way at the moment but will probably keep changing her mind and the closer it gets the more excited she will probably get.
Just keep updating on everything as much as possible and she will get into it big style.
My mum was really jealous at first when I started properly planning our wedding, but I show her everything I have planned and ask her opinion when there is a multiple choice for things and she is getting excited now.
CommentAuthorLulu1388
Gotta agree, your only planning on doing this the once so definitely your day your way!! Just sit down with your mom and be honest! thats all you can do really!! My mom is taking an interest however my FMIL couldn't care less, she has one daughter already married, another son who's been engaged for 16 years and they are finally getting married next november and then my OH.. but she has taken no interest and couldnt care less about mine and my FSIL's weddings!! Parents, emotions and weddings are the 3 things that always cause one issue or another!! Just be open and honest and at the end of the day you two are paying so up to you how you do it, where you do it, what you do with it etc!! It's your special day as long as you enjoy it thats all that matters!! xx
Every Once In a While In The Middle of an Ordinary Life
. . . Love Gives Us a Fairytale. . .
