We had a sort of talk last nite about all the wedding plans.. Everytime i tried to talk to him he always says i trust you, do what ever you want for the day. So thats what i have been doing, any time i ask his opion on anyting he says its your day i trust you.. Then last nite as i showed him the cost list of what i have got and what has to be paid yet he said i dont know if this is the right thing for us just yet....!! I was thinking to myself you let me pay all the big deposits last week (which are non refundable) and now he says this... At the start of planning i was worried that we would not be able to afford the rent because hes working and i am a student.. Our rent is £460 a month and i will loose the housing benefit because he will be moving in... Now he is saying it and i understand but he convinced me everything will be fine so now i dnt know what gona happen.. neither of us slept well last nite and he has gone off to work this morning without realy speaking... Need advice :(
CommentAuthorricky
when he said I trust you had you already set a budget or did he trust you to plan a wedding that you knew you could afford? If you are sure you have planned a wedding that is within your budget and you can still pay all your bills and live a decent life than reassure him that all is well. If you have planned a wedding that in your heart of hearts you know you cannot afford then you need to re think. Hope this helps xxx
CommentAuthortimpson123
Good advice ricky.
CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs Nicol
Yep we had a budget of £3000 which we are still under, but as i got into my course for this year i decided that i would like a sit down meal which is an extra £1800 and my school grant cover this.. I get £12000 in grants this year, which pays off everything including our rent for this entire year and that dosn't count any of his wages but because i wanted the sit down meal it takes our budget to £4800. I have explained that everything can be covered by me and our credit cards can all be paid off as well.. They are only £1500 altogether. I dnt how much better i can explain that the wedding is gona be fine but its after that he is worried about now. When we get married i am not entitled to any doel ir housing benefit so basically being married is going to cost us £460 a month. I worried about that before we started planning and he convinced me everything would be fine but now the planning has all started he is freaking out and i dont know what to say..
Im hoping i get my uni place next year as i didn't get in this year so my hopes are that my grants and loans from that will help us over the next 3 years till i get my qaulifications as a nurse... I feel soooo down and tearfull today because tha reality to me is that he may want to put it off.... :(
CommentAuthorjanetx71
hun im going to be honest as i can here but i dont think your financial plan is a good one at all its all depending on ifs and maybes i think maybe your h2b is right you need to sit down before you spend any more money and work this wedding on guarenteed money you have coming in now sort how much you will get once h2b moves in and work a doable budget from there as it stands at the moment you are basing the funding of the wedding on money you might get if you get into uni what if you dont get in how would you pay it all off then and your student money is meant to be for living and essential expense it may sound a lot when you sit and add it up just now but when the strains of evryday life factor in im just not sure your doing the right thing sorry but im just trying to help even if its not what you want to hear hun xxxxx
I totally agree with janetx71...planning a wedding on maybes, ifs and buts is not sound financially. The money for student living is for just that..not for lavish weddings...scrap the sit down meal and all the fineries and have a simple but beautiful wedding if that is what you want. If however you really really want the all singing all dancing full on wedding then wait until you have a job and are financially stable, have saved up the money and plan within a realistic savings plan. Sounds like your fiancé is stuck between a rock and a hard place..be kind to him and relieve his anxieties. he wants to be financially stable but he also wants to please you i suspect.
CommentAuthorJane
hun my h2b is moving in nxt month :) at the mo i get cares/child benefit/income support and child tax credit but when he's due to move all i get it carers as he works and we wont quailfy for housing benefit so first month's gonna be hard but am lookin for a job if your h2b gets more than the limit you wont get the help but in some case's you might get a dicount and only have to pay £20 a wk we will get working tax credit of £30 a week and an extra £26 a yr lol
yay soon 2 be Lady Jane Bradbury
CommentAuthorWifey2be
I think you just need to set a budget that is going to be correct for the both of you... myself and my partner have a budget of 9000 before the honeymoon and we are both in pretty good paid jobs (his high rank in the navy) and i work in a financial company yet with living costs and everything going up in the world! you need to set a reasonable budget and sometimes a sit down meal is not always the way to go! as i found out a two course meal for my wedding is costing nearly 2 grand before even the drinks package! so sit down have a chat and decide what both of you really want from the day! i wanted so many things that i ended up changing it, and going for cheaper options and i am still very happy :) x
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
hey wifey what does your H2b do ... where is he based ? ...i was a navel wife for 17years !!!!!!
