I already have my bridesmaids picked out.. My little sister, htbs little sister, and my 2 best friends who i've known forever. We don't have a big budget, so will already struggle with paying for 4 dresses... However htbs other sister (who is notoriously bossy and a bit of a 'princess' used to getting her own way) told us even before we were engaged that she would be a bridesmaid for us.. however i don't want her to be, and we can't afford it!! htb is fine with her not being a bridesmaid, as they've only known each other a few years anyway so they don't know each other that well, plus he wasn't even invited to her wedding!
Am i just being mean not asking her to be a bridesmaid? Or how can i tell her without offending her that i am not going to ask her to be a bridesmaid? So far i've managed to avoid it as we live about 6 hours and hardly see each other, and usually only chat va Facebook! I am not a confrontational person whereas she is so... help!
Rant over!
CommentAuthorRelfy
hard one, I think you should get h2b to tell her that you only want your clost friends as aldult bridesmaids. if she questions then tell her straight that you dont think its approiate based on not knowing her for that long...... whatever you do, DONT tell her its because of money as she will more than likely offer to pay for the dress etc and you wont be able to get out of it. xx
CommentAuthorKesha
dont say anything, casually announce that you have picked your bridesmaids or wait until she asks you about it?
CommentAuthorbabycham79
i agree with relf on this and dont let her change our mind xx
CommentAuthorMrs Mara Tester
I think you should just tell her straight hun. xx
I can't believe we've actually done it
I am now Mrs Limara Tester
or announce on facebook " me and my BMs hav arranged a date to go and pick their dresses". then later "BM dresse picked, all my girls are very happy" she wil probs get the hint then. i wud prob not say anything to her just wait for her to come to you and then you can just say you already hav ur closest friends picked and that was all you wanted. good luck with that one luvvi xx
CommentAuthorlizzyleek
I agree just tell her straight out! Thanks for your offer but we have our bridesmaids already picked out.
CommentAuthorMrs Daltry
honesty is the best policy,she wont like it but tough,its your day not hers
CommentAuthormarypenguins
Thanks guys! I will say about who my bridesmaids are and then if she mentions it i'll say that i've had them picked for ages. To be fair if she kicks up a big fuss and falls out with me about it she doesn't deserve to be a bridesmaid. x
CommentAuthorcecileinlondon
Hi, if you communicate on fecbook with her, then post something on your facbook page that you have picked your BM how you did select them, so that there will be 2 youngsters (your and h2b little sisters) and 2 adults (your 2 best friends that are at your side since you are child). Then if she read facebook she'll know and maybe comment and if not you will still have the oportunity to tell that you didpublish who were your BM.
CommentAuthorMrs (Dove) Pidgeon
Tell her ASAP before she gets any ideas!
Now a extremely happy German housewife and now a Mother!!!!
Islay Jean born 24th June in Hannover.
CommentAuthorRoxii
I agree with dove, the sooner the better. I also think that posting something on facebook to avoid direct confrontation from her may also be a good idea.. Good Luck! x
CommentAuthorLedZepLover
I would just tell her you can't afford yet another bm and that you have already sorted out your bridal party. I know it's a bit awkward but it needs to be said if not she will think she actually will be a bm! x x x
CommentAuthorRoxii
I don't think you should tell her about money, especially if she's used to getting her own way, as she'll find a way to pay for her own attire ect... x
CommentAuthormarypenguins
I shall make an announcement on Facebook i think! If she gets upset i'll ask htb to have a word with her.
Thank you everyone :)
xx
CommentAuthorcecileinlondon
Good luck
CommentAuthorRoxii
Yeah, Good Luck! :) x
CommentAuthormarypenguins
Haha i'll need it, this is the girl that when she came to stay with us over xmas, sent me a nasty text message after i cancelled going for a night out because i wasn't feeling well! (She did later apologise!)
x
CommentAuthorvixen
i had to tell my best friend that she couldnt b a bridesmaid after i said she was, they should understand hun x
georgina x~x
the little gypsy!!
CommentAuthorYourFirstDanceBride
Best of luck with that one. I agree with the others, a facebook comment should do the trick and dont mention the money! If she gets funny about it then ask your H2B to help you out as its his sister after all and even if they haven't known each other long it is his side of the family and you get to pick your bridesmaids from your life. x
CommentAuthorEriksfjord
Good luck with this! xx
CommentAuthorCeCe
Potential difficult situation as you are having the younger sister. How old is 'Princess Bossy knickers'?
CommentAuthorRoxii
lol, CeCe dunno about you adopting me.. You keep making me burst out laughing really this evening!! haha x
CommentAuthorvintage lass
Yes, Id tell her asap in order to avoid her getting any ideas and to save embarrassment for you and her! Id just say...'thanks for the offer however due to money constraints we have had to limit numbers and have chosen the four most closest people'! Personally I wouldn't send her a message via fb...as I can envisage further problems with this! I think this issue requires face-to-face contact (regardless of you not liking confrontation) out of respect hun. When it comes to your other half's family personally Id let him do the talking...u dont want to put yourself in a position that you are 'blamed' for this alone...let him tell her next time she asks!!!! Good luck hun xxxx
CommentAuthorCeCe
..if she is old enuf to bit ch re you not going out then she is old enough to be told that she is 'surplass to requirements' .. ^^ see Vintage's thread..
I seriously would NOT be posting such announcements on FB .. that isn't classy or too fair..even if 'Princess bossy knickers' is a major pain inthe arse!
CommentAuthorKimi
Tell her straight out, if she doesn't like it and starts bitching tell her where to go.
Sorry but she needs to learn she aint the centre of your universe or anyone elses for that matter.
The days are flying by, can't wait :)
CommentAuthormarypenguins
The younger sister and the 'bossy' sister (shes 22, she's done the marriage and kids thing already - and already wants to get married again haha) barely know each other. they don't share the same parents, so no problem there! Thanks vintage, i don't know when i'm next seeing her but i'm sure she'll need us to babysit her kids soon ;) i'll tell her i've got my bridesmaids sorted when she asks how the wedding plans are going and take it from there. I'll try not to chicken out and take the FB route! Lol.
x
CommentAuthorsbride
edited
We had the same hun. H2B's sister just assumed she was BM but i really didnt want her. She isnt my friend, I dont like her much. However when i didnt ask her a huge row broke out (on the day i found out my mum had terminal cancer) and it resulted in his parents basically saying that they wouldnt come to the wedding. Now Im sorry, but if someone doesnt ask you to be BM why would you want to be one knowing they dont want you. Well in the end i gave in and im having her as BM. I was and still am very hurt and angry by it and do not want her as BM and its runied my day really. But i suppose at the end of the day, we are getting married and my mum is gonna be there as she is in remission and thats the most important thing.
I am now Mrs Stacey Stiles and loving it!
CommentAuthormarypenguins
Aw wow sbride am so sorry to hear about your mum, but very happy to hear she is in remission! That's excellent news! :) Luckily if her parents say they won't come to the wedding it wouldn't matter, her mum and step dad aren't invited as we don't know them, and her Dad (and h2bs dad) is too laid back to care about who is bridesmaid and who isn't, so he'll turn up regardless! I'm hoping she will suprise me and be fine about it. She may moan behind my back, but it doesn't bother me as i don't know the people she'll moan to haha! It's a shame you have to give in, as people have been saying to me, it's your day! I hope she keeps up her BM duties though! You could always put her in an awful dress! Hey actually, that's a good idea... i'll tell her all the bridesmaids are in peach, polkadot, fluffy, poofey dresses and she needs to wear a big flowery sun hat and NOT tiara... that should sort her out! Especially the fact that there's no tiara! Haha. (No offence to anyone who actually has bridesmaids dresses like that... not my personal taste! Lol.)
CommentAuthorMrs (Dove) Pidgeon
This why you should marry guys who only have brothers- they really aren't interested (except in the free booze they can get!).
Seriously- hope you get it sorted.
Now a extremely happy German housewife and now a Mother!!!!
Islay Jean born 24th June in Hannover.
CommentAuthormarypenguins
Haha Dove i like your thinking! I'm sure it'll all be sorted fine and i'm just panicking over nothing! Thank youx
CommentAuthorKerrylou
LMAO @ Dove - Fortunately it's only Ross & Dean for me so I don't have the little sister problem. However, they DO come from a predominantly female family. I've asked our cousin Hannah to be an usherette.........well, as soon as this news got out I was getting "Well what about Rachael, Jess & Ellie? They're part of the family too you know" (some days I could smack my mil2b lol) I calmly pointed out that during my time with Ross I could count the number of times I'd seen the other girls on 1 hand and still have fingers left over, Hannah and I had become very close and she was at my house nearly every weekend - thus I'd chosen Hannah and not the others!!
Facebook is a hugely bad idea - there is no better slap in the face than being told something like that via a status, note or post. Do what I did, just tell her you're sorry, you hardly know her and you wouldn't be comfortable having her as a BM but you're looking forward to her sharing the celebrations. Or just to keep her Royal bum happy, could she do a reading during the service - that way she gets to feel important without raining on your parade :) Hope you get it sorted xxx
It's right what they say
"The course of true love never runs smoothly"
But if it had been easy then we wouldn't love each other as
much as we do right now - 1 week to go :D
CommentAuthorCeCe
Sbride - I really feel for you and to be honest with you I would NOt have backed down, BUT I was/am no tin your situation. I think it hilarious that your h2b family would boycott their sons wedding as somebody isnt in the Bridal party! Jeeeeez..what is really wrong with folk - some just seem to be devoid of class and self respect...surely, if you have NOT been asked you would not cause a fuss as YOU would end up lookin glike a right kn ob head! Seems to me that the sister is a spolit b ivan itch and as i have said alot lately..spoilt folk, bullies et al WILL continue to do what they do if you let them.
I am sorry you feel your day is ruined..it really is not too late to say no to her...
CommentAuthorsbride
Thanks cece. I wish I could say no, but if i did that now, his parents wouldnt speak to us. H2B doesnt have many friends, they all blew him out when we moved in together, so his family are everything to him. I will grin a bare it. I do feel like my day isnt going to be what i wanted, however I will get my revenge and I will make dam sure that she wishes she never asked to be BM. I made it clear i woulnt be paying for any of her outfit. I already chose a very expensive dress so she had to pay fo it. And she will be paying for her shoes, hair, make up, flowers and accessories. I will enjoy my wedding, I wont let a spoilt little brat (and may I add she is my age, 25, anybody would think she is 5) ruin my day.
There is light at the end of the tunnel though, she is pregnant. Due in october. She has put on a massive amount of weight, i am praying she wont get in the dress. It hasnt got much to be let out so if she cant get in it, she wont be BM, lol.
I am now Mrs Stacey Stiles and loving it!
CommentAuthorRoxii
lol, Fingers crossed she gets fat then Sbride :P lol x
CommentAuthorCeCe
...there indeed maybe a very bright light. Just make sure she has paid up for all the things she won't be wearing!
