need tips on how to keep calm and cool when it comes to spanding time with the M.I.L (monster in law!!!)

we are having a late lunch with her on sunday and its gonna be at a buffet restaurant that costs double on a sunday and she knows fine well that i cant afford it since she kicked us out and peter lost his job the job center wont pay any money to peter because im his full time working partner and he lives with me at my mums,

i just know that shes gonna bring up the debt that peter is in and how he needs to pay it this month or else but its his debt an it stresses me out how she thinks i need to pay it when i cant hardly afford to keep both of us at my mums and paying my car and both our phones! :(

what should i do short of not turning up! need to start making an effort for h2b, out of principal i wont vistit or set foot in her new house! :D

xxx

Just tell her straight you cant afford the restaurant because you need to get your bills paid and eating out is bottom of the priority list at the moment. If she doe'nt like it tuff titty.

thanks ladies i have a terrable temper and a short fuse when it come to mil she stresses me out so ill have no contact with her at all at least a year befor the wedding hehe! i do quite like dil though hes ok!

least if i do decide to go im gonna have lunch first lol and sit eat nothing

or not news just in the restaurant is cancelled and its now a buffet at hers! that i will not be attending!!!

Just tell her you cant afford to pay debts etc so you cant justify eating out. Arrange to meet for a celebration luch when your H2b has found work and finances are sorted. That way you are being reasonable but there is no fixed date to rush and see her. Hehe you are a better woman than me I would have lost the plot with someone like that very quickly. good luck hun x

She sounds like a lovely lady NOT!! Just tell her you cant afford to pay the debt atm so you cant justify eating out!x

Just be honest. Just explain to her exactly how you have told us on here. Stand your ground and also suggest you are both happy to meet on Sunday as long as she is paying?

OMG, I thought I had it bad, just plainly put your foot down, explain its not your thing to pay for especially if you can barely afford to pay for essential things like bills, food (not out). Good luck

Just smile and grin and bear it.... thats what i have to do. You cant choose your family so keep it brief, be pilote and then can go home and carry on as normal !! Sadly we cant change our families so be the bigger person person and rise above it all xxx

Thanks guys! its horrid! because she is peters mum but i just wish she wasnt here! than i wouldnt have to make the effort to pretend! and your right Tsukijin why should i pretend!!! i do resent it i had shuch a hard time at xmas with her! at least it was in sil house so i said merry xmas and gave her a hug (although i felt like punching her) then h2b said as we were leaing say by to mum and i was like why?!!! im gonna sat by to everyone not just specificly to HER! so when i left she was the only one with out a hug an a smile! she dosnt deserve it!

my hairdresser (since i was a little girl) said her problem is she dosnt want you taking her little boy away! of couse she dosnt because she was getting his benifit money when he lived with her, i was able to help him with spending and saving his money bacause all she does is spend it! he dosnt have a bank account because she used it for loans and catalougs! so he had to shut it down and all his money went through her, then when we go enaged she chucked us out and now we get no money because im a fully time worker! her thinking is well if maryanne is trying to controll his money then hes not getting any!

she knows every benefit trick in the book!!!!

im sorry Tsukijin that your mil is the same! xxx

Thank you Kaya! They see your point but at the same time its still there parents so they are never fully on your side because you always forgive your parents!

we end up looking like the bad guys!

i really wish there was a strong enough reason not to invite them!

Glad im not the only one with mil problems i know iv heard that boys mothers can be a nightmare! but my mums nothing like that towards peter or my brothers mrs ! xxxx

OMG Mrs Boyd that is SHOCKING!!!! she is actually worse than petes mum!!!!

so how is being at uni not make you a deacent human being?! your are(im guessing) learning towards bettering your self and possibly helping contribute towards further development or improvment of things in the world with you degree!
she probly jelouse because you will be earning big bucks one day and she will be stuck like a little cat woman!
to do that to her son is SHOCKING! cant you report her for slander and get her cautioned show her your not kidding around or sitting back and taking her rubbish!!!
your SOOOOO luck that shes not coming! (im jelouse lolz!!! )
and for what she did to your dog i would have called the rspca and then thrown her out the window!
that would have be the best fly on the wall moment indeed!!! HAHA stupid woman! shes nothing but a theif!!

xxx