Wedding Forum - How to get h2b involved...

My h2b was brilliant doing the booking of the venue and dj and he'll stop me stressing about money. He also gave me an hour to get him a suit and asked his dad if he could have one of his shirts (he's a cupboard full of unopened ones) and rang his best man. He's helped me to compile the guest list and got some addresses of his mates who I don't know.
Aside from that, which all happened in one week, his answer ever since has been "I don't mind" or "do what you like". So I am :0)

My h2b does my head in from time to time. We've been together for nearly 7 years and marriage talk was happening very soon - but he the got made redundant and cancelled a big proposal because he couldn't afford the ring. YEARS of telling him that I don't want a big diamond or a big wedding - nada, he wanted it that way. Don't get me wrong I love my ring but I would have been happier with a less flashy vintage ring. We could never afford the big wedding - he wanted, not me - so we never started planning until I pushed and got relatives help on board for a smaller scale wedding. Now everything is set and I am really, really good in budgeting and research but if there's too much wedding talk he makes me feel like bridezilla and doesn't want to hear it. BUT he also doesn't let me get on with it - he wants a say in everything (fair enough, it's his wedding too but he never has time) and to him it's totally strange that the woman does most of the organising.

I love him very much but this doed drive me crazy - wanting to be involved but too quickly has enough but also not letting me just decide. Ggggrrrrrrrrr....

yes my h2b is the same, he wants to have a look at everything and give his opinion but at the same time cant talk longer than 10 mins without being bored, most of the time its the shopping around looking for deals and ideas that us women do best and then when u want the final decision bring them in! lol such as if u were looking at dresses, pick the ones u like, then pick ur favourites, then give him a choice of 3, thats pretty much them making a decision but u doing the hard work, but at least what u show them u will like as u have chosen it all!

all i get when i talk about wedding is, yeah, sounds good, ok, whatever babe lol so i know hes not really listening, they like to leave it last minute!

Well he never had a say in any kind of dress question - not for me or the bms. Or our accessories. But no free reign over the rest of the styling... Though I am good with bargaining with him - he can decide this and that (food) if I can style how I want...

Haha I felt like I was planning everything in the beginning, then 2 months ago I had a proper stress with tears when I said I wasn't sure if I was planning the day I wanted, or if it was the day he wanted too - then I basically said I needed help, so we made a list of everything and told him what needed to be done - should have done that sooner as within the week he'd booked the honeymoon, cars etc and already now is putting a song list together for the DJ! Sometimes they just need a bit of a push x

Now we only need the photographer sorting due to a problem with our previous arrangements, and everything else is done!

My friend was going to do that too, but just this week found out they're pregnant, and due the week before my wedding! Great for them but not so great for me, he's still said he'll do the photos but if she's late and gives birth the same weekend, he's going to the birth instead! So after a long think we're now looking to pay more to book a professional, non-pregnant photographer and invite our friends as guests instead - that way I won't lose sleep thinking when she's going to have the baby!

well we went to visit our first ceremony venue today and just by looking at the outside of it decided that neither of us wanted to go there as it was horrible, dirty and scruffy. We've got a couple of others that we need to see but are now looking at hotels for the ceremony.

we were really disappointed as the town where the office was is quite a posh, tourist town so we thought it would be great but at least we went to view it in advance :-)

he's said he will sort the transport and dj out, once they are sorted might find something else small for him to do

xx

So far, I've been largely responsible for planning, though he's had a fair bit of input. We looked at about 4 venues together, he loved the 4th, and decided that was 'the one' so didn't come to the other viewings I'd arranged (which was fine as they were weekdays mainly and he was working) and basically trusted my judgement (we booked the one he (well, both of us) loved lol). I imagine he'll have a lot of input when we book the photographer, and he's picking his own suit (likely with my help/opinion though).

I don't think he's too fussed about the details, like the cake and flowers, so I imagine I'll be arranging these things. Which is fine, I really don't mind.

A lot of men just don't care as much as women do about weddings, so don't take it too personally, but do make sure that you're not doing all the work, and give him some duties eg make him responsible for the suits, get him to stamp and address your invites, etc.

well apart from choosing the venue Mr lala hasnt been very involved really this isnt because he doesnt want to be but because he has been out for the country for most of the last 15mths
there have been lots of emails and links sent so that he can look at things but i have done every thing ...( see my thread )

mine will let me have a say in what he wears but I don't get full choice, if he loves it nad i'm not so keen on it he is likely to go with his own feelings rather than mine. I've told him for the wedding he's chosing what he wears as long as its a suit, as teal tie etc lol

I think mines actually more scared about is mum's reaction, when he told her we were engaged she didn't speak to him for two weeks. We're going to sit down in 3 weeks and talk to her together as they live 200-300 miles away from us so its hard seeing them. I wanted to tell her today on the phone when she rang to talk to him but he's away until tomorrow so didn't say a word.

he's becoming more interested slowly. He's going to have shock when he comes home tomorrow to find invitation samples covering the table

My H2B isnt bothered about whats on a table or what flowers im holding but he is interested in the big stuff like venue, food and entertainment so i get him involved in that! x