The thing with men is that if something is so far away then they dont have any interest really as not affecting them now. They also dont understand all the planning and think we over-plan/fuss around these things. I have also learnt not too go on too much about the wedding as bores him so we talk about important things instead and i just sort out the little things.

I would sit him down and say you understand he wants to save first which is good but some deposits on bigger things can be paid earlier and then carry on saving. Get a rough budget together of how much you can afford to save per month and by when so you know your budget and can then look at venues - this will give you an idea of price and if booked early could negotitate on fee. Then everything else can be left until about a year to go and that way he wont get bored of the subject but you have a date !!

Luckily my OH is good and talks weddings to me but he knew when he proposed i would want to get booking so he prepared himself for this and he also knew i wanted a 18 month to 2 year engagement so we already had wedding savings xxxx

Maybe be quite blunt then.... say you dont want to organise the wedding alone as both of your wedding so he either helps and gets involved or no wedding as your not doing it alone. I dont mind doing the dresses, invitations, presents, etc alone but glad he helped with venue, church, theme, etc as means it has our stamp on the day. Maybe give it a few weeks or come across as nagging about the wedding. Good luck honey xxx

Me and my partner are on a really tight budget, we didnt think it would be possible until we started looking around. We decided on a registry office which will only cost about £295 and then we are having a sit down reception with 35 guests and allowing 80 guests in the evening. We are having the reception at a hotel, and they did a brilliant wedding package, whereby it only works out about £20 a head including 3course meal and bubbly. we then only have to pay £5.95 per head for evening buffet. It does all add up and we are yet to see what the damage is going to be, however if you pay deposits to get it booked, then you can carry on saving as most things are due 2months (ish before the wedding)

Perhaps bargain with him and go for a 2015 wedding to make him feel like saving is more achieveable! Honestly there are lots of things you can do to keep the costs down! Im not having an expensive dress from a bridal shop. Im going to a wedding dress outlet in Leicester where they all cost £399 and u dont make an appointment. Buy a wedding magazine and leave it on the side and see what he says hun! lol xxxx

I take a slightly different view, and feel that if he doesn't want a big wedding, then you can't really force him to be involved or to take an interest. However, obviously as you want a big day, there needs to be some compromise if he cares about you.

With that in mind, I would suggest sitting him down, explaining that you know he isn't fussed about the big day, but that it's important to you for x y and z reasons, and that you're a bit upset that he doesn't even want to set a date. Explain that things like venues etc can get booked up to 2 years in advance, so if you wait until you have enough money, you might then be tagging on a wait of another 1-2 years to book/organise things. Then go over your finances, and suggest a budget that you can realistically afford (incidentally, be very careful when doing this; be realistic about what you can save; it's fine saying 'we'll save £300 a month', but if that leaves you with very little spare cash, it isn't going to be achievable), and get him to agree to a date.

But once that's agreed on, you might need to accept you'll be on your own when it comes to the planning side of things.

Dont worry i have the same problem with my H2B, i have been engaged 5 years this year, and we are getting married in 2014, but he doesnt seem to want to know, he says that he will love everything that i decide. Gets on my nerves because i ask him an opinion and he just shrugs his shoulders, feel like hitting him with a book some times lol.

Of course, he inputs on my tasks too x

Mmm, mine was really keen on a vintage theme so he's happy to do anything theme related. Manly things mmm, you could explain that the whole day will be super girly if he doesn't chip in. That was enough to get mine involved in the other things too lol :)

I have explained to him that things can get booked really early and that most things are paid for in stages, such as venues etc, but nothing ever seems to sink in. He doesn't take anything in really unless it is xbox related or fishing, football etc, typical bloke really.
We actually got engaged in 1996 when i was pregnant with our eldest dd and have had 2 more kids since then. He actually sed to our girls that he just wants to marry me and isn't too fussed about all the little things.

Gonna try and chat to him tonight about it if i can get him off the xbox for half an hour lol

lol x brilliant. You do have some time though but I do know that one of the venues that I was looking into has started taking bookings for summer 2014! I booked 10 months in advance and I feel I left it late but it was fine. Maybe show him some panic posts? I'm panicking about not having my dress yet lol. My task and I'm well a truly behind lol.

Tell me about it!!! Re: Invites, I sorted the address list though lol

Once you set the date, it will all fall into place. I'm sure it will be fine hon and the closer to the date the more interested he will be. Good luck honey x

My OH is exactly the same. He has been given 2 big tasks; booking the car to the church and booking the honeymoon. He's done the first. I tend to just tell him what I want and he will tell me if he doesn't like it. He is very laid back! As long as your OH is happy, just tell him your ideas and let him just nod.

My other half is the same, he just wants to marry me, he doesn't care about the details.... it's sweet in a way, until I actually need help in making a decision that I am finding difficult! It works in my favour most times though because I can chose the things that I like, I always ask his approval first but 9 times out of 10 he will just agree with me, men just don't really care about the little things, which at least gives us a free reign to have our dream days :)

Anyhow.. I think you should pick a definite date that you want, then put it forward to him, say that you want this date and that you want to look at these venues, if he disagrees on the date I'm sure he'll soon tell you.
In terms of budget, if he is a very money concious person maybe he is just worried about you getting out of your depth? Have you showed him the budget that you've drawn up, maybe that would help?

I'd also let him know just how much this is upsetting you, because I'm damn sure he doesn't want you feeling like this, he needs to know how much getting married means to you...

Good luck xx

My h2b to be was like that at the start, he didnt want to bother helping decide the date, so i just did it myself.

I thought my h2b is getting that way leah. One minute he doesnt have opinion, then suddenly it has be his way. GROOMZILLA all the way.

A few weeks after he asked me to marry him I set the date myself. I went ahead and booked the reception venue and showed him pictures of it that evening. This was quite worrying though I must admit as I thought he would tell me to postpone it or cancel, but he didnt. The only thing he has disagreed on so far is the ceremony venue. I would happily marry him in a registry office but he is insisting on one church in particular near where he grew up. I'm calling the church shortly to ask them if we can marry there.

My advice is to go ahead and set your date. If it was up to him you might be engaged forever by the sound of things. I would plump for the March 2015 date though if I was you, or possibly later that summer?