If there is a risk she won't be there, its pointless. It is a real shame but totally understandable. Just explain to her that as much as you would love her to be bridesmaid, her exams come first. Why don't you give her a reading to do? That way if she can't make it, it's not a big deal?

Aw that's a shame. Fingers crossed she hasn't got an exam, but I'm sure she understand. I agree, ask her to do a reading xx

I originally thought of a reading but she can be very shy and I don't think she would want to do it, then I thought that maybe she could be a ring bearer so she is still at the front with me and she still has a part I just wouldn't need to shell out an absolute fortune for a dress and everything else that comes with being a bm. Georgie, her dad and step mum won't be coming to the wedding anyway as they are not part of my h2b's family so she won't be completely home alone, his family are incredibly confusing, they have the same mum but not dad and she lives with her dad in Edinburgh, we would have had her dad there but my h2b's mum hates him. I am sure in due course I will be asking for help over this subject as well.

Rather than starting a conversation with the aim of firing her, I would just talk to her about all the commitments for the wedding and her commitments for her exams, revision, etc. You may find that she comes to the conclusion that she won't be able to participate.

Aw, how rubbish :( I agree with you though, it's totally pointless if she's not going to be there. I'm sure she'll understand, just talk to her gently, maybe talk to her parents first? I'm sure you'll work it out together, good luck x

Can you speak to her dad about it? Personally, I think saying she can't attend the wedding at all is a bit extreme; surely she could, say, attend the ceremony and wedding breakfast? Yes, GCSEs are important; but there is really no need to start keeping teens under lock and key just because of them. I went out every weekend without fail during my A levels, having a massive heavy night of drinking every Friday, and being hungover and unable to revise every Saturday, but I needed the time off (I was revising 9am until 7pm Monday-Friday, and 10am-6pm on a Sunday), and I factored it in; and guess what? I got straight A's lol.

I just think it's a bit harsh and extreme to say she can't attend at all; and I really think your OH should have a chat with his dad about how realistic it will be to expect her to stay home and revise on the day of her BROTHER's wedding... That all her family will be at...

If that is really not an option, then I agree with giving her another role; possibly as witness, or maybe she could do a reading? Or, are matching BM dresses and hairstyles really essential to you? Could you not pick a colour, and ask them to get their own, and pay for the hair for the other BM, but have his sister do her own if she can come? (or, speak to the hairdresser and see if they could take a payment last-minute). Similarly, you could order one bouquet now, but explain the situation to your florist, and see if they can make another up at fairly short notice if she's able to attend.

In terms of how to handle it if you do ask her to step down, I think maybe this should be done as a family; and even perhaps her dad should break the news given he's the one saying she might not be able to go. If you break it to her yourself, simply say that when you asked, you didn't think about the fact she would have exams, and that because her exams are so important, much more so than your wedding, you've had a chat and think it will be too much, and that you would love for her to do x instead, as you still really want her to be part of your day.

as long as you tell her yourself. my brother got married when i was 14, as soon as he got engaged he asked me to be a bridesmaid, turns out she didnt want any bridesmaids, couldnt even tell me themselves had to get my nan to tell me, i was really upset x