I'm not really sure of how to approach the topic of asking them, who I would like to be my bridesmaids are my OH cousins who I don't really know that well and his little sister
any suggestions on how to ask them please?
Considering I'll be paying for everything else in the outfit, them paying for the dress is a huge help xoxo
Met May 2013
Engaged December 2015
Getting Married 22nd June 2018!
CommentAuthorEllie95
Also, I'd like my OHs god-daughter to be a flower girl so thats another dress
Met May 2013
Engaged December 2015
Getting Married 22nd June 2018!
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Have you considered having less bridesmaids to keep costs down? Also what are their financial situations? Remember if you expect them to pay they may either choose not to be one or you will have little choice over the dress as they'll want a colour and style they can wear again.
I paid for all 3 including alterations and had final say on what style and also full control over the exact colour I wanted.
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorEmily17
I would just be open and honest with them. The best you can do is have the conversation and see their response. Best of luck x
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorEllie95
They all work, OH and I agreed that we would pay 20% if they were more expensive than a normal party dress.
With OHs family it's either all or none of them, if I had to one or two of them, they're will be talk...lol
We found a really good company of the bay, a uk company that makes bridesmaids dresses for like £40ish :) xox
Met May 2013
Engaged December 2015
Getting Married 22nd June 2018!
why are you having his cousins if you don't realy know them? Your bridemaids should be people you know and trust! If it is all or non then if you don't know the cousins then don't have any of them! just have his little sister and a close friend.
I'm only having 1 bridesmaid and 2 flowergirls mainly to keep costs down but also because for the adult bridesmaids there are so few I trust to the level needed. I'm paying for all the dresses as they are quite expensive but my adult bridemaid has offered to pay for hers
CommentAuthorEllie95
I know them, I'm just not like BFF's with them
and I want bridesmaids cause I don't want to look like a loner on my wedding day, and I don't have any friends
I don't know why I'm having to explain myself for wanting them, this forum was for advice on how to ask them, not to be told not to have them....
Met May 2013
Engaged December 2015
Getting Married 22nd June 2018!
CommentAuthorFlossie
I would just be upfront with them Ellie, say you would love them to be your bridesmaids however you are on a bit of a tight budget and it would therefore be a great help if they could contribute to the cost by buying their own dresses. The most important thing is giving them enough time - make sure they have enough time to save if they need to :-)
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorEllie95
Guess there's not tip toeing around it :P up front it is
We were planning on asking all the bridal/grooms party once we have a venue arranged, so gives them pretty much 2 years in advance lol
Met May 2013
Engaged December 2015
Getting Married 22nd June 2018!
CommentAuthorEmily17
Maybe take them out for coffee. Do I remember on a different thread you said that you wanted to meet with them a few times before asking them? Well after you have asked them doesn't mean that has to stop so you could mention it then.
I think up font is the best way, maybe get a few 'cheap' suggestions to put their minds at ease that you don't mean for them to pay £200 each for their dress
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorEmily17
Sorry if that was someone else on the going for coffee bit!!
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorEllie95
I did have a forum about it :)
Tbh I wouldn't even consider a dress that was £200 :P
doesn't mean what has to stop? sorry bit confused xox
Met May 2013
Engaged December 2015
Getting Married 22nd June 2018!
CommentAuthorFlossie
I gave my bridesmaids 2 years notice too, I paid for the dresses but asked them to pay for their own shoes (however I did give them a relatively free rein over their shoes, I said I'd like them to be nude but the rest was up to them so they could wear them again if they wanted to).
I also warned them of any potential costs at this stage too... such as the cost of staying at the venue, hen do costs, etc. I really wanted them all to have plenty of notice so that they were all aware andso that nothing would be sprung on them as a surprise! xx
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorEmily17
You don't have to stop meeting up for coffee :)
Yeah me neither if I'm honest, a bit extortionate!
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorEllie95
Yeah thats true, I was meant to meet up with one of the cousins last weekend, but she had something that came up so it didn't happen, have spoke to her since on bookface though :)
Met May 2013
Engaged December 2015
Getting Married 22nd June 2018!
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
It's certainly not an unreasonable request. Both times I was bridesmaid I actually made the offer, and first time I ended up wearing a dress that I already owned as it was a perfect match. The second time the dresses we ultimately settled on were cheaper than expected so the bride covered it all, but we paid for the shoes that the bride had picked out for us. I had my bridesmaids wear shoes they already had, as the dresses were down to the floor, so I thought it was better that they were in shoes that they were comfortable with.
As your bridesmaids are closer to your OH would it be worth approaching them with him? With the god-daughter presumably it will be the parents that you have to approach. Just one word of caution, be very careful about cheap dresses from the bay. They can be a bit iffy in quality. Perhaps you could discuss with your bridesmaids what they would be happy to pay for a dress, and then you can look around for things within the agreed budget.
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
CommentAuthorStephH96
There's lots of places on the highstreet too that you could could try if you are on a budget. Also depending on the style of dress you want I do recommend L1ndy B0p dresses, they are 50s style and they have some very nice options fro about £35.
CommentAuthorEllie95
I really want the typical style of bridesmaid dress the ones on the bay are:
Considering they're £40 each, they're pretty good, I will order one before ordering them all to see what they are like though xoxo
Met May 2013
Engaged December 2015
Getting Married 22nd June 2018!
CommentAuthorEllie95
They're called L1ttl£ Pr1d£ Br1d£, the have a bookface page
my god this is gibberish ahah xoxo
Met May 2013
Engaged December 2015
Getting Married 22nd June 2018!
CommentAuthorStephH96
Yes good idea, they look really pretty :)
CommentAuthorMrs Jones
Dresses look really pretty Ellie.
Good luck with asking them. Sounds like you're keeping the costs sensible, so I am sure if you can go along and say what kind of price you're thinking, they will know in advance. I think £40 is very reasonable - not like you're suggesting £150! I am having just one bridesmaid - my sister - and mum paid for her dress as part of my parents' wedding donation, but weve told her that she will need to source her own shoes and jewellery and she's also paying for her own hair and make up too.
First Date 26 April 2014
Proposed 27 June 2015
Happily Married 18 June 2016
CommentAuthorMyranny
I'm my cousin's Maid of Honour and she was just really up front with us all, as others have suggested. Definitely best to mention it at the time of asking as well. She just said I'd really like you to be my bridesmaids etc. however i would have to ask you all to pay for your own dresses because there is just isn't room in our budget, and I'm sorry if that sounds cheeky, and if you can't then I understand but if you can then I'd really love you to be my bridesmaids etc. We all said yes, and she's said no more than £100 for dresses so your £40 is really reasonable.
Most people would buy a new outfit for a wedding they were going to anyway, so it's not really any different. x
CommentAuthorEllie95
It's just mad how much a bridesmaid costs, you've got hair, shoes, jewellery, gift etc so them paying for the dresses are a HUGE help :P
Met May 2013
Engaged December 2015
Getting Married 22nd June 2018!
CommentAuthorCatherineR
Don't go with that company Ellie - we had major problems with them! Went in person, got both bridesmaids down 3.5hr journey, whole weekend off work for all 4 of us and when we turned up at the given address at the correct time, she wasn't in as she has gone out! Phoned, messaged but no answer and when she eventually deigned to reply, she was rude and didn't even bother apologising... We ended up having to traipse the shops all day looking but we found nothing so all that was wasted!!
Married my wife on 15.08.15
Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)
CommentAuthorEllie95
Oh god really :/
Thanks for letting me know :) xoxo
Met May 2013
Engaged December 2015
Getting Married 22nd June 2018!
CommentAuthorCatherineR
No worries :) wouldn't want you having the same experience! Considering all the time everyone took off, arranging the appt for us then driving the whole way to her... To not be there just frustrate me, let alone the lack of apology or the 'are you sure you got the right house?' comment we got! Uhhhh, yes of course cos it's the address she gave us! It was a nightmare :( xx
Married my wife on 15.08.15
Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)
CommentAuthorMrsToniKB
I asked mine from the moment I asked them to be bridesmaids and maid of honour, I gave them the choice and said I'd pay for the accessories hair and make up on the day! They were happy to pay as they said they would have to buy an outfit for the day anyway, I'd just put it as an option then it their choice to be one or not I'm sure they will be fine about it :) x
finally became Mrs B 22nd June 2017!!
CommentAuthorSusanM34
I've paid for BM's dresses and hair accessories, but asked them if they would mind buying their own shoes, jewellery etc. They are quite happy to do so :)
Became Mrs Maunders on 22nd October 2016!
CommentAuthorLeanneR0186
I have been BM twice before and I am MOH for my best friend in June, I have always had my dress, shoes etc bought for me and I am doing the same with my girls. I think it's each to their own preference. I would prob make sure they knew from the get go that you expect them to pay for their own dresses so that they know all the info before accepting to be one. x
The Richardson's 31/12/16
CommentAuthorSusanM34
I agree with Toni. Ask them from the start. Maybe say something along the lines of, "I would love you to be my bm, however, due to a lack of funds would you mind paying for your own dress?" not meant to sound as blunt as it reads though! lol
Became Mrs Maunders on 22nd October 2016!
CommentAuthorEllie95
Yeah I was definitely going to ask from the start, would never want to ask them and months down the line be like so yeah your paying right? lol, that would be so out of order xoxo
Met May 2013
Engaged December 2015
Getting Married 22nd June 2018!
