Some of you may remember me posting about my best friend phoning me to say she cant be my MOH because she is only having a small wedding and feels bad that I can't be a bridesmaid ( not that I asked to be and would have paid for my own dress). A month ago my gran was taken ill and I text her to let her know despite not being in contact for about 6 weeks). She replied and then I didnt hear from her again until today.
She text to say that she booked her wedding for the the end of the year and she was sorry i wasnt invited because its just close family. She added - hw was my gran.
I dont know how to feel anymore....
CommentAuthorLinzi-jo
So first it was that you couldn't be a bridesmaid and now you're not even invited? Sorry Hun but I think she has made your mind up for you and she obviously isn't bothered about having a relationship with you. I know it will be hard for you but my advice would be to cut your losses and forget about her, she isnt worth it xxxx
Got together 14.02.2008
Got engaged 31.12.2010
Will become a Mrs on 30.08.2014 xxxxxx
CommentAuthorKatya
hmmm... not sure how to reply to this one....
maybe she has been real busy. maybe it is just VERY intimate ie eloping, going abroad, hiring somewhere small with parents, children, siblings etc.
At least she remembered to enquire about your gran, & to inform you of her upcoming wedding etc. I think she does care. The way in which you have written this sounds to me like you feel there is something more on her mind than she is letting on. Is SHE ok? maybe you just need a girly chat? have you informed her that you would like her as your MOH regardless of her not being able to return in such a way?
Find out who you are & do it on purpose!
CommentAuthorMrsCross2be
Yes linzi-Jo. I dont know Katya- yes I told her I wasnt bothered I never got upset or mad with her over the phone etc. Its all so weird to shut me out.
CommentAuthorValentinaK
Probably genuine... probably having issues, potentially financial, which would explain her going "AWOL" and small wedding!
It may all be down to finance and try night just want their family there... I'd be upset tb but at the of the day it's her decision and there's not an awful lot u can do.... Chin up x
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
sorry to here this hun, but its obvious to me that she obviously does not feel the same way about your friendship as you do, i had to come to terms with this recently! don't worry about someone who does not worry about you, get out there and you will find lots of people who will be better friends and want to be .
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
It may not be a case that she doesn't value your friendship though x
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorNataleeM
i would just ask her out right if there is a problem xx
Can not wait until I marry the man of my DREAMS
CommentAuthor*The NewMrsMalin*
Met in 2009
Got together on12th May 2011, proposed on the 12th May 2013
When you get knocked down; smile and pick yourself up again!
Fight for what you believe in!
CommentAuthorMrsGothBride
Her not inviting you doesn't represent at all what your friendship means to her. I love my sister dearly and my nephews and niece are my life, I have a group of 4 amazing close friends and hubby also has a group of 3 lads that have been friends since primary school and none of them were invited to our wedding. They know us, they know who we are and what we are, they understood and in no way at all questioned our friendship.
Maid of honour might not be something she is comfortable doing? I wouldn't be a bridesmaid or maid of honour for my friends, but then they know me well enough not to ask lol
Do you think there is more to this than she is letting on?
When we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours
we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying
weirdness and call it love, true love.
5th September 2013
CommentAuthormym72
I don't think her having just a close family wedding has any bearing on your friendship. I've been friends with my bf for 32 years, but we decided to have a close family only wedding. My friend understood that she wasn't invited - and tbh I would've loved to have had her as bm but it just didn't fit with our plans as it would've meant inviting her husband and two children as well (we got married away from home in Gretna).
We're still good friends and very close (and I didn't attend her wedding either) - but we still meet regularly even after all these years. Talk to your friend and ask if there's a problem. After all, if you're that close, there shouldn't be barriers to what you can talk about.
CommentAuthorbeximo86
I agree with NataleeM - just ask her outright if there is a problem. It's hard to decide given the issue with the wedding however I would be really annoyed that the question about my nan was just a tag on at the end of the message x
CommentAuthorValentinaK
Think some women are more pragmatic about things than others... im sure she asked because she didnt want to ignore the fact you're gran was ill... I personally wouldn't have been upset by that message or read too much into it. Especially the older I get and the higher I go in my job and family commitments heighten, friends dont go, but they do go on a back burner.
And we lived happily ever after!
CommentAuthorsarah
Exactly what I was thinking. it sounds like something may be going on in her life.
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
Personally I think I would txt her along the lines of ...
Hi Hun, is everything ok with you , just thought I'd ask as we haven't been in touch much but this is unlike you and I worry about you
Yeah lala, that's a goo way of putting it, puts the ball in her friend's court and time to think why she has sent that...
And we lived happily ever after!
CommentAuthorkatielea100
I don't think it's obvious she doesn't want a friendship anymore but I think you need to talk Just drop her a text asking if everything's ok and hope she opens up Her asking about your gran says to me she still cares about you xx
CommentAuthorMel D
I would do what lala said ... it's not obvious that she doesn't want you as a friend anymore. When my best friend got married they just had close family at the ceremony ... there were about 18 of them ... so it could just be that is what she and her H2B want. I still had her as my MOH, and there was no question that just becuase I wasn't at her wedding that she wouldn't be a big part of mine xx
Got married Sat 28/05/2011
Renewing vows Sat 29/05/2021
We're planning WELL in advance!!
CommentAuthorMrsCross2be
Thanks ladies. I fully understand the small intimate wedding dont get me wrong- originally though there was no talk of us (me and our 2 friends) not going just that they couldn't afford us as bridesmaids- I clearly said I didn't mind and she could still be my MOH and if she wanted me as a bridesmaid id happily buy my dress etc I was very supportive. What im upset about is 1 being dumped like that with no real reason and 2 the fact she feels however she feels that I cant even see my best friend get married in the church. Im sorry but a best friend does not agree to be maid of honour and a few months later when she gets engaged dump you with no clear reason then cut you from her wedding which she books for 2 months time....
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
trouble is until you KNOW the reason you mind will come up with all sorts.
Definitely try and arrange a get together to discuss things further. There may be some good explanations as to why she's made certain decisions. It's difficult to speculate without knowing the details xxx
29/09/2008 - The Day we met
12/11/2008 - When we decided to be more than friends
04/11/2012 - A proposal in Central Park NYC
08/11/2014 - The day we say I do!
CommentAuthorAmyH608
MrsCross2Be.........
With regards to your friend as many of the ladies have said if you 2 are still in contact (even if its not regular) text her or spk to her and let her know how you feel; if you dont get any closure from it, dont let it get you down. The way you have to look at it is that friends come and go throughout life but the ones who are ALWAYS there stick by you through everything!! :) This is the happiest time of your life so enjoy it :) xx
My 'best friend' hasnt bothered with me once since i got engaged!! She's 4 years older than me and i think its jealousy!! But its her loss at the end of the day as i know who matters now :)
