Hello ladies, I have noticed an increasing amount of posts about guests demanding this and that from an annoying BM who demands that we pay for her dress and her daughters!! to others saying we should pay for them to get to the wedding and pay for any accommodation they might want. I am quite lucky that i dont have a demanding family or in-laws, my heart goes out to all of those who are having issues like this.
It is my attitude that a person should feel honoured to even be invited to someones wedding, where do they all get off demanding this and that? Cheeky sods!! personally i am buying the BM dresses (£36 each in a sale lol!) and doing a buffet instead of my preferred sit down 3 course meal so everyone will be able to enjoy the food. Thats it.
So how far are we all going to cater to our guests wants and needs?
CommentAuthorMrs (Dove) Pidgeon
We are providing a vegetarian option?
TBH we haven't had any difficult guests. Apart from my aunt moaning about our hymns choice but my mother told her where to go.
Now a extremely happy German housewife and now a Mother!!!!
Islay Jean born 24th June in Hannover.
CommentAuthorSuz80
Have to be honest, we've been quite lucky aswell, not as bad as some cases i've read about here. We are providing sugar free deserts because some of our guests are diabetic but thats about it... if they don't like it they know what to do lol.
CommentAuthorMrs (Dove) Pidgeon
Oh - we are providing gluten free meals as well and catering for food allergies. Don't want people getting ill!
Now a extremely happy German housewife and now a Mother!!!!
Islay Jean born 24th June in Hannover.
CommentAuthormym72
We're having a small wedding with close family (20 of us). The hotel restaurant we've booked for the reception is really good. We looked around at a few and most of them were asking us to choose a set 3 course meal - but the one we chose has given us a menu with about 8 choices for each course. We have to narrow it down to 5 for each course - and that's the choice the guest get. They don't have to choose in advance either as we've been told that they can cater for our choices on the day itself. As far as I know we haven't got any vegetarians in the guests - but going to choose an option anyway.
..oh and I only have one bm so buying her dress and shoes etc (and paid her deposit for hotel, and also the best man's as well).
CommentAuthorShellster90
I'm putting a map and list of hotels for one family attending our wedding.... thats about it lol..
I don't believe it sucking up to guests and giving them their every demand... it's our day :D
CommentAuthorMelly
We're having a large family bbq, so i'm hoping people are going to be contributing to that. That way i'm hoping people will be taking into account their own needs. xx
CommentAuthorShellster90
You hope Melly LoL!! :D xx
CommentAuthorCeCe
edited
We will pay for ALL items needed by our wedding party needs as WE asked them to play *whatever* part in our day!
Also,since our guests are travelling across the bloomin country we are treating them as much as possible...free bar (for part of the day), Gifts..organised discount in the Spa and hairdressers and a free meal for one night if they stay in the hotel!
As for paying for accomodation...well, in certain circumstances we would certainly help out close friends if it was required (and we could afford too) .. but if guests wish to come then accomodation is for them to pay (I have scouted around for the best price B&B's got a discount in one for them to take advantage of and our Hotel/Wedding Venue offers a discounted rate for our guests).
Food requirements will be considered ie: Veggies, Religious requirements...but, if 'Uncle Kn obhead happens to not like something on the menu then..well...errrrrrrrrrrrrr tough!'.
CommentAuthorMelly
I know what our families are like and there'll be loads of food and drink!!!!!!
CommentAuthorShellster90
Lol that's good then :D
CommentAuthorsabs
We are quite lucky at the mo. There are no vegetarians but we do have 1 guest who doesn't eat beef or chicken or meat like that so he is going to have bugers and chips oreggs and chips. x x x
CommentAuthorNuttytart
I've had allsorts of requests like I dont want this I dont like this, tough. I've done my best to accomodate everyone. From flying from an airport 3 hrs from my home, flying on a day that suits people better, just so they can be there. I've had I'm not sitting next to her or going if he's going. I've had enough, my wedding is no longer my wedding. So i decided like it or lump it. I'm helping people pay a little towards mexico if they need it and treating everyone like my mum, bm's and ushers etc, to gifts and paying for its dress, shoes, hair etc. All i can say is if you dont like it, dont come!
CommentAuthorNuttytart
Plus I'm treating all my guests to a magician, top dj a buffet and 4 course meal. They wont think any more of me, but hey!
CommentAuthorButterflyDreamer
Im doing a massive buffet with Veggie options and diabetic options. I don't want to spend a tonne of money on a 4 course meal to chop and change to suit people. So much easier with a buffet. xx
CommentAuthorMrsAndrew2B
i probably sound really awful but its my day and im doing it my way and if the guests dont like it, its tough lol. we'll be having a buffet and i'll make sure there is lts of variety to suit people in that department but other things are going to be my way as i wouldnt mke demand on others peoples days so im noy going to let them do it to me (i might let H2B have a look in though lol) xxx
CommentAuthoreebeegeebee
I'll cater to dietary requirements e.g. diabetics (my grandmother), religious considerations, children's meals and oh maybe even vegetarians (though it's so tempting to convert them), but beyond that only our relatives will get any special treatment. My family all live abroad, so I'm helping with the cost of hotels for my grandmother and uncles, my parents are staying in our flat. The hotel we're having it in gives us a specal room rates. They also make us choose one option from the menu that everyone gets, and then make special arrangements for vegetarians etc, meaning there can be no bickering about chicken vs beef. I like that, takes away the hassle. Also think we'll be paying for a lot of taxis...
CommentAuthorMrsSandiBillany
The only thing were doing is providing a list of accomodation for people, and possibly hiring a bus to get them to the venue from the hotell, if enough people are staying in the same hotel.
That said, one of my cousins (who is more like a brother to me) said they wouldn't be able to come because they couldn't afford a hotell so i said they could stay at my house as long as they didn't trash it and fed the hamster, we won't be here and i trust them to look after the place. He knows that he will loose the relationship we have (which is VERY close) if he trashed the place and wouldn't risk it (i hope) so him, his partner and there three children will be staying at our place :)
CommentAuthorMrs Steph Lapworth
This is one thing i havent thought about to be honest the only thing i am requesting is for the desert as some of our guests cant have sugar ie my brother who is a diabetic
Love Steph xxx
28th May 2011
Is Now Mrs Lapworth xxx
CommentAuthorCarolanneJune
i'm having a bbq so people can have what they want lol
CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs Nicol
we are paying for the dresses and jewellery, they will be going to the chapel with me then to the venue in the bus provided for everyone else, if they wana stay over they pay 4 that themselves and if they wana leave early that sort their own way home. We are doing a buffet as well so that everyone can pick what they like and have an informal tabel setting... with the dj and things on.... we have a drag queen for an hour as well which shoul be fun to.. something different... :)
CommentAuthorstranger23
were having a picnic so there should be things everyone eats, i am however letting one of my bm have her choice of dress so she feels comfortable as she has low self esteem and is in a bad place at the mo, i really want her to feel as involved as possible and give her something positive to focus on, people say im mad letting her dictate me but she is my friend and knows not to go to far so as long as we both agree she has the freedom to do as she wishes everyone else can do as there told tho :)
CommentAuthorKatie
I am providing my BMs dress and shoes and jewellery and I will be sorting out a veggy option but we have gone with a very none offensive meal so hoping most people will like it. Its not an extravagant wedding so there isnt much choice. I would love to have an open bar for a while but unless we win the lotto there will be little chance of that and we are only providing drinks for the toast after that everyone will have to help theirselves.
xx
Those who mind dont matter
Those who matter dont mind
CommentAuthorKesha
were catering for a diabetic cousin and have a veggie option. We decided on Rose wine instea dof red, but will be putting red on a few tables for people who requested red....thats about it! Oh we are provding a bus fromt he church to the reception, then back again.
CommentAuthorLeanne
We've had to provide a veggie option & also make sure the gravy/food is alchol free.
We're also paying for everything from outfits to accessories & have now been stumped with alteration fees too, which i'm not too pleased about as one bridesmaid has put weight on & her £200 dress doesn't fit it has to be let out. So I don't think I should have to pay that, but will as I won't ask for a contribution from her & she hasn't offered.
Leanne
Just Married 22.5.10
CommentAuthorHoxxyhula
Food wise we will have a veggie option and providing free drinks all day until after the meal.
Bridesmaids stuff: we have not sorted it yet. If they offer to pay I will consider it but I don't think I would ask them to pay. Same for the best men ans ushers.
For hotels etc most people are paying their own, but will help out if a few of my favourite people are struggling!!
CommentAuthorBumblebee
Ours is still a long way away so haven't really thought about this much yet - apart from my very very fussy eater friend - who is happy to sort herself out if she doesn't like what we provide!
It is our day, and supposed to be happy for us. We aren't going to let people boss us about and tell us how things should or shouldn't be done. Obviously we will listen to peoples requirements/ thoughts and consider these, but it is our decision on everything.
Guests will pay for their own accommodation, but I might sort out taxi's for important guests for afterwards... will see...
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
apart from veggies the only person who will have any food that is specail for them is my niece ........the rest can go to the chippt ifthey dont like the food
stranger i agree wif you about ur bridesmaids dress. i had my girls help to pick ther dresses as i want them to be wearing something they all like and feel comfy in ans suits them. i dont want them feelin horrible and thinking that they are not gona show pix to anyone x
CommentAuthornewmrshartley
i am having bm dresses made (by a kind nana in law!) so i have said if they choose their pattern Vicky and I will find a fabric she can work with and i like that matches them all, but they are getting their own accessories as they are all big on that kind of thing and want to choose their own. for the groomsmen we are having waistcoats made and again i have bought the fabric for these, expect them to pay for their suits and stuff. we're going with black so they will have most of it.
i have booked out the place, so my guests will need to pay that - so £100 per person, for two nights, but i am laying this down now and being as though we have two possibly three years to go til the wedding they have loads of time to sort this out :)
CommentAuthortasha
we dont have any dietary requirements thankfully and my view about the food is if they dont like it, dont eat it!! Harsh i know but otherwise i would have half of scott family asking for different things, so its what we have choosen and if they dont like it then they will go hungry!!
CommentAuthorGoff
We've bought the bridal party's outfits, but thats all. They will be getting info on local hotels etc in with the invites.
The wedding is about us - not our guests and pleasing them IMHO. They will get an invite, there will be food (including veggie), there will be a band - if they CHOOSE to come and celebrate with us great.
I will not be doing anything else to "please" them because its the way WE want it and now how we think other people would want it.
UKB Mad Scientist
Ride it like ya stole it.....
I'm a flippin ORTHOTIST
CommentAuthorMrs Turps (Nicpep)
I am paying for the bridal party outfits, except my dad who insists on paying for himself. Lol I dont expect the bridal party to have to pay out, when I've asked them to do it.
as for the food, we have a set meal and buffet. I asked for dietary requirments on the invites so there will be a veggie, nut allergy opyion etc if people need it.
18-09-10
Now a married lady :)
Im a rebel me
CommentAuthor~* Jen *~
I'm paying 60% of the bridesmaids things, and possibly the men's outfits too. We're also providing hog roast, and salads and stuff.
So far we've not have any fussy guests, but then we haven't given out invites or anything else yet. Not sure if we'll get any fussy annoying guests, I hope not!! xxx
CommentAuthorpouchi-loo
im sorry but if they have been given enough time to save some cash they should save and come your already giving them a lovely day out, it not like they are going to a wedding everyday. I was going to hire a double decker bus for guest but decised not to, they have enough time to save cab fare.
CommentAuthorcatch
edited
no one asked me for anything, so l have bought them everything !!dress, shoes, bag, wrap, earring, bracelet, necklace, posy, and bought them a gift, paid for parents stay at hotel all weekend and h2b daughter all weekend, all the flowers and button holes for ushers, mum, dad's h2b, bestman and bestman wife, l am paying for the two buses that will bring all family and guest to wedding and reception and take them all home, we hired all the ushers and bestmans outfits and we have bought all them a gift, includeing the bm's bestman and parents and all my wedding guest are getting a goody bag with wine and gifts in it but not because anyone asked but because l want to spoil them xx we are buying the first three drinks(package) and haveing a full a la carte menu our guests have a choice of four menue's including veggie optoinsxx
CommentAuthordeedee
We are paying for all the wedding partys outfits shoes etc. I will also be buying them little gifts. We hired a coatch to take guest to and from hotel. We will be having a set menue with veggie options ect, and one who wants to stay in hotel will be paying that them selves altho we are getting discount on that. Other than that everything else will be done our way as it is our day not theirs!!!!
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
we are paying for my parents to stay at the venue ( when we find one)
We're simply providing a list of hotels and B&Bs close to the venue for those not willing to travel home that night. We've negotiated a discount with the hotel for our guests too! x
CommentAuthorcandygirl1uk
Paid for BM dresses and shoes, and accomodation for all the wedding party, but we have cottages attached to the barn that are part of the package. Veggie and gluten free options in the canapes and meal.
CommentAuthorKimi
I'll be paying for BM dresses (they'll buy own shoes) and catering for any dietary requirements happily. Guests wanting/needing to stay can pay their own room but if we have enough people wanting to head home are happy to arrange a coach for that (small fee payable by guests wanting the coach to venue and home).
The days are flying by, can't wait :)
CommentAuthorangeleyes
thanks ladies for the huge response on this one, i thought i was being realy stingy after hearing what some of the ladies were doing but now i see i'm doing things pretty normal. i'm getting the bm dresses, bought my nan her outift as well but thats just cos i love her! and i've chosen to have a buffet instead of the 3 course meal i wanted so people would find something they are happy to eat. xxx
