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Wedding Forum - How do I un-invite someone?...

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  1.  
    • AmyK
      CommentAuthorAmyK
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Apr 15th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Ok - I have a friend who I've know for a year at work & have got really close to.
    She has a rubbish boyfriend (I mean, really rubbish), who I have told my h2b about, and h2b begrudgingly agreed to invite him as her (long term) plus 1 to the wedding ceremony, as I really want my friend to be there - the day wouldn't be the same without her.
    So, recently, my friend and her boyfriend had a bad patch, even to the point where he hurt her (left bruises) and she kicked him out, said it was over. I was overjoyed for my friend & h2b was delighted that "that d***head isn't coming; never wanted him there at our wedding in the first place".

    But now they're back together... I'm hoping she sees sense and dumps him soon, but she's too soft to dump him. I'm not the only one to have said she's better off without him. But I don't want him at our wedding either - I don't want to be in the same room as him as I want to give him a clobber for hurting my friend.

    Do I cross my fingers & hope she dumps him, or tell her he's no longer invited, or what?? Advice appreciated!!




  2.  
    • Susie
      CommentAuthorSusie
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Apr 15th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Perhaps take her aside and say, sorry doll, when you dumped him we viewed him as not coming and we invited someone else! That might work?
  3.  
    • MrsBull2B
      CommentAuthorMrsBull2B
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 15th 2014
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    I agree with susie! x

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  4.  
    • Velcro
      CommentAuthorVelcro
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 15th 2014
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    Yep I'd defo use the same reason as susie.... X

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  5.  
    • AH86
      CommentAuthorAH86
      Posted: Apr 15th 2014
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    Friday 10th April 2015
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  6.  
    • MrsH
      CommentAuthorMrsH
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Apr 15th 2014
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    I agree with Susie!
  7.  
    • Susie
      CommentAuthorSusie
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Apr 15th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I dont think Ive had so many people agree with me all at once. Could you all contact Dave and tell him this is how its meant to be??? lol

    Hope it is a reason you can use AmyK xx
  8.  
    • MrsThomson2B
      CommentAuthorMrsThomson2B
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Apr 15th 2014
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Think susie hit the nail on the head xx
  9.  
    • MelanieH10
      CommentAuthorMelanieH10
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Apr 15th 2014
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    I agree with Susie too :)

    Getting married Sunday 1st May 2016 :)


  10.  
    • CommentAuthorChristieC93
      Posted: Apr 15th 2014
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    I agree with the others. Just say that numbers are really tight so every seat counts and as soon as you thought you had a spare seat you filled it. You could not have known that they would get back together. Perhaps make a nice gesture to say that you will put him at the top of the list if anyone else can't make it (but don't really!)
  11.  
    • Becky1608
      CommentAuthorBecky1608
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 16th 2014
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    Well said Susie. That's a really good and believable reason xxx

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    12/11/2008 - When we decided to be more than friends
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  12.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Apr 16th 2014
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    I was thinking along the same lines as Susie as well.

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  13.  
    • AmyK
      CommentAuthorAmyK
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Apr 26th 2014
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    Thanks ladies for the replies... I'm just going to wait and see how things develop, especially now that someone else is being sweet to my friend, she's seeing that she does deserve better... But if she brings her rubbish boyfriend to the wedding then fine - her happiness is more important than my seating plan.
    (Still secretly wishing she dumps him)




  14.  
    • Showgirl
      CommentAuthorShowgirl
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 26th 2014
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    Fingers crossed
  15.  
    • VickiD69
      CommentAuthorVickiD69
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 26th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    What I would do is say to her that, seen as he hurt you, physically hurt you as well as mentally I do not want that sort of person at my wedding. That way he wont be at your wedding, but most importantly will show her how much you dislike someone who could hurt someone so close to you. But if you dont want to use the harsh approach, then what susie says! :) x
  16.  
    • LauraK7
      CommentAuthorLauraK7
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 26th 2014
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    I agree with Susie too x
  17.  
    • RebeccaH100
      CommentAuthorRebeccaH100
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 26th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
      edited
     
    Be careful that you don't make her feel she can't come if she wants to come with him. Honestly, it sounds like a really abusive situation, and I 100% understand the instinct to uninvite him but it may end up with her feeling like she cannot go or him telling her she can't go since he's no longer invited. Abusers often try to come between friendships to isolate their victims.

    If you are worried, tell her that you love her and you are concerned, but don't allow him to put space between the two of you. You cannot force your friend to get help, but you can continue to be there for her. Disinviting him to the wedding won't cause them to break up. It will cause additional tension and most likely will end up with her staying home and missing your wedding, you being upset she missed your wedding, and you distancing yourself from her. That is what he wants.

    WIN A WEDDING WINNER 2014....Rebecca and Ryan
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  18.  
    • AmyK
      CommentAuthorAmyK
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Apr 27th 2014
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    Thanks Rebecca, that is what I fear. And if I were to make a negative comment about him, it is likely she'd take it to heart and see it as a negative about her too - she's a sensitive soul.
    Plus I don't want to appear to be a smug moo about how my relationship is so great we're getting married, but have her think I don't approve of hers - I think that would only knock her confidence and ruin our friendship




  19.  
    • ChanelP
      CommentAuthorChanelP
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 27th 2014
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    I agree with RebeccaH100 as it could make more of a problem for your friend. But Susie's idea is a good one and will probably work:)

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  20.  
    • SamanthaJ141
      CommentAuthorSamanthaJ141
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Apr 27th 2014
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    i agree with susie
  21.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Apr 27th 2014
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    I was going to suggest exactly the same as Susie x

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