I asked my cousin to be bridesmaids and she begged me to make her daughter one also but after looking through things and finding it hard to a) match dress colours and b) keep the price per dress the same. I have decided to drop the child bridesmaid. The little girl doesn't know about it as yet but when I mentioned it to my cousin she was like it don't matter if she don't match it she can wear the same as my daughter who is a fg. My daughter will b 2 when we her married, her daughter will b 10. Hardly a fg7. Lol.
I have made the decision just want her to accept instead of trying to force me. I only had her down in the 1st place cuz my cousin kept saying her daughter had never been a bm b4. Grrr hate when ppl guilt u in2 things.
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CommentAuthorVicky
If you are not happy just tell her, say sorry but no and stick with it dont let yourself be bully into something you dont want xx
CommentAuthorPaula
I agree its your choice but you should never have told a child she could be your bm if you didnt mean it, the poor child will be heart broken, as an adult you really should have considered it before you agreed/asked. Sorry if you feel I am having go but if someone had done that to my daughter I would be seriously unhappy.
CommentAuthorclive
edited
I agree I'm afraid:-( Us grown-ups are made of tougher stuff than kids- the poor girl wont know what to think! I *know* it's your day, and your choice, but I think in situations like this, a child's feelings are more important than colours matching and price- is there not a way you can cut costs elsewhere to accommodate the cost of the extra dress?
CommentAuthorKirky
Sorry but i agree with paula and clive. Is there anyway you could maybe ask your cousin to contribute towards the cost of her daughter being a bm?
Kirky I agree, I think asking for a contribution towards the dress is the best option x
CommentAuthorclive
definately!
CommentAuthorMrsH2B
As I have already said the little girl doesn't know as yet! And I didn't ask her in the first place her mom asked me over & over so I just said fine.
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CommentAuthorMrsH2B
Furthermore we are helping my cousin with the cost of her coming to the wedding as she has lost her job but still wants to come abroad with us. So if she can't afford to pay the holiday herself I can't ask her for the dress cost cuz she ain't got it!
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CommentAuthorkimmy
Don't be bullied into it!!!
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
my MIL2b tried this with mr lala`s 2 nieces .... how they would never be BMs etc etc ... well we stuck to our guns and said no...this has resulted in her saying she wont come ... but that is her choice and i am not going to be made to feel guilty
my friend got married in March and had her 2 sisters and friend as BM she also had a 10 yr old daughter her was bridesmaid and 8 yr old son as page boy. but my freinds sister also had a 4 yr old daughter who was not asked to be Bm, she was not happy bout this. but you have to draw the line at sometime. if the 4 yr old had been a BM then the brides other nephew and the H2b would of had to have his 2 nephews as page boys as well. at the end of the day its wot you want not wot your ment to conform to, if it was like that id end up havin loads of BM's and page boys unlike how its gonna be my 2 best friends and my daughter and neice. stick to your guns........ way to many people interfer at wedding its your day have it how you want not to please others!! x
CommentAuthorjanetx71
i think its a tough one i would make doubly (terrible spelling lol) sure that this child hasnt been told by her mother that she is a bridesmaid if she has then no matter how you were pushed into it you are the adult and need to act accordingly but make it clear to your cousin she will need to find the money from somewhere to hel p with this childs dress HOWEVER if the child still hasnt been told then i would stick to your guns and tell your cousin no your not having her and you didnt appreciate the emotional blackmail it is a really hard one i only wanted my daughters as my 2 bridesmaids and ive ended up with 4 bridesmaids 4 page boys and a flowergirl i didnt want due to me agreeing to things i didnt really want but felt pushed into xxxxx
CommentAuthorTinsel
I agree with janetx71 - don't be bullied into having her if she doesn't already know x
07.04.12 - the best day of my life!
Living happily ever after as Mrs Nottage x
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
it such a hrd thing when people think they can dictate ....as i mentioned be my mil2b tried this but as mr lala pointed out to her how could i say no to my 2 nieces if i had his .... we are having my 3 daughter and thats it .... and now bc she has thrown her toys out of the pram she has declared to anyone who will listen that she isnt coming to the wedding ...... thats fine her loss not mine
She was really ungrateful towards us considering we r paying some of her cost towards the wedding when EVERYONE else is covering their own costs. But as the kind of people we are the whole family are putting some towards her n her daughters cost. My sister (moh) has told her she isn't a bm anymore. She had a bit of strop but will get over it I'm sure. My sister said to her " you know Dionne would usually go all out to make other people happy but her n N are already using some of their budget to pay for u & ur daughter to come, if they werent doing that it wouldn't be so bad, so ur options r...they help u come with us or ur daughter is a bridesmaid from a distance as u won't be able to be there!" she was like fine ok! My sister is very straight to the point lol
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CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
Cool thats my sort of girl ...... i would have said the same thing
Lol nice one. I wouldn't be paying for her at all if that is her attitude.
CommentAuthorMrsH2B
I know Jo. She is 1 of my fave cousins n we text like everyday. Her dad (my uncle who is doing our food) might not even be able to come as he is paying the full cost of her daughter & part of hers. She doesn't realise how much people r helping her out because we love her.
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CommentAuthorMrsV2b
How about a compromise and have her daughter instead of her and make her a witness or ask her to do a reading so she is still of the ceremony.
getting married on 29th June 2013
You cant please everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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CommentAuthorMrsH2B
It's an idea MrsV2B. But I think I'm just going to stick to my guns this time. I'm always the one who adapts so that every1 else is happy. I wish other people were so accomadating towards me.
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CommentAuthorRachelCabbit
I agree sticking to your guns is best. It's your day and emotional blackmailing is not cool. Besides, who know, the little girl may be a bridesmaid one day - she's sure to have friends who will get married. She may not be 10 years old at the time, but it's not like she will never have the experience! And if she doesn't, she always has the chance of being a bride. If the daughter hasn't been told then you have nothing to worry about.
Good luck with your wedding planning xxx
CommentAuthorPaula
If the daughter has not been told then you should discuss it with her mum but you need to ensure her mother hasnt told her x
CommentAuthorMrsH2B
She hasent been told as she has behaviour problems and her mom doesn't tell her anything until the last minute as she plays up on things. They are going euro Disney end of the month & her mom song even told her that yet as she will just play up in school etc
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