Hi Everyone, At the moment i'm having 3 bridesmaids (my sister and two close friends). However, I have got two other friends who I have known just as long. We all socialise in a group a lot and they all know each other, facebook friends etc. At the moment I havent asked them to be bridemaids cus I dont know if I can afford it and also one of them has lately had a total personality clash for the past year with one of the girls who is already definitely a bridesmaid. I dont know what to do, I want to make them feel special and included still................any ideas??xx
CommentAuthorSteph-Hughes-2b
ahhh hun, i'm in the same boat! i have no idea what to do either, i'm open to ideas to x
CommentAuthorsuzky123
when u give the bm pressies have a nice photo or something with you all on and hand it to the friends too so they are included and thank them for being such fab friends over the years
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start weight 10st 1.5 lbs
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CommentAuthor*Kat B*
susky that's a lovely idea
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CommentAuthorSazzell23
sounds good.... I want to do something to include them in the run up tho really, at the moment I think they feel excluded because neither of them are taking any interest and feel distant. I am tempted to ask them to be bridesmaids and sod the money but HTB isnt really on board with it. Sounds a bit sad but I dont have a big family so my friends are really important to me. Also my two friends who i've already asked - one will be a new mummy and the other could be the same or pregnant as she is trying for a baby. So i'm worried they may be busy and not able to give me much time or support nearer the wedding.....
how about asking them to do a reading or poem at the service?
CommentAuthorSuzie Bear
I was gonna say to do a reading? Could they maybe be witnesses at the register and sign for you? x
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CommentAuthorXLittleMissMe!X
I think just by telling them what you are doing and asking what they think about things and sharing ideas will make them feel a part of things. They don't have to wear a frock to prove they are your friend. A good friend will be supportive no matter what.
CommentAuthorsuzky123
can they be witnesses?
cant wait to be Mrs Evans less than 3 weeks woooo
start weight 10st 1.5 lbs
weight now 8st 4.5 lbs
total loss to date: 24.5 lbs now need to maintain!
CommentAuthorSian-Louise
Maybe invite them to wedding fayres? That is what I am doing with one friend that I am close with but cannot have as a BM has I have 4 adults and 2 flower girls but she comes along to wedding fayres and helps me look at bits and bobs...she seems happy to be involved that way xx
CommentAuthorStevie_Dee
Maybe buy special lapel corsages for them in your colours to stand out from other guests and makes them look a bit like part of the bridal party? xxx
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CommentAuthorTotallyLovedUp
have you chosen your dress yet? if not how about taking them with you to try some on and help you choose? tell them the reason they arent BM is money but you would love for them to be part of your day and see if they would like to do a reading or something like that?
CommentAuthorTotallyLovedUp
ohh and stevie dee thats a great idea!
CommentAuthorHayley
when we first started working out how much money we could save and what we could get with it we were gonna be in the same boat as not being able to afford all the bridesmaids i wanted. During a conversation with one of my closet friends about the wedding it came into conversation about bridesmaids and i said i wan't sure how many i was having due to money and her reply was that if they wanted to be a BM then she was sure that they wouldn't mind paying for there won dresses. I laughed and said in that case would you be my BM she said yes and told her husband to get the check book out. I told her i didn't really want anyone to have to pay for their own dresses and she said well the options there. We've managed to save money in other areas so we'll be able to buy them ourselves. If you would really like them to be BM's then take them out for lunch and explain to them that you would really like them to be BM's put you can not afford it and ask if they would be interested in buying their own dresses.
If not then i'd still take them for a meal and explain that you would have loved for them both to have been bridesmaids but you can't afford it put would they be interested in being wittnesses or doing a reading. Even helping you plan details of it. When it comes to having your photos taken have one with them included in your bridial party!
CommentAuthorRach (Mrs H)...
I have a similar problem too, but my sister is my only BM, mainly because to choose others would be hard, soooo one friend is doing a reading and helped me choose my dress, i am also going shopping with her for an outfit for the day, and she will be wearing a corsage. My other really good friend is helping my sister sort out hen night and hair and make up on the day.
I will make sure we have a photo done on the day too...good idea!!
Then during speeches they will be acknowledged and we are buying them thank you gifts, as they are helping loads...
Hope this helps x x x
CommentAuthorshellay
we have two close friends, whose husbands are ushers and daughters bridesmaids, so we decided to have them as witnesses and they were overjoyed to be part of the day :) x
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CommentAuthorHappilymarried Mrs G
I didnt ask any of my friends to be bridemaids because i was worried this would happen. I have my daughter, my neice 2b and my cousins little girl as bridemaids and flower girls, and my male gay best friend in the whole world as my man of honour (bridemaster)... My female freinds are al being kept included and feeling special by being involved in my planning, they have all seen my dress and my tiara, they will all be helping with my flowers and invites..... we will be having girly artsy crafty evenings in the lead up.
CommentAuthorSazzell23
well girls a little update, one of the friends is fab at making cakes so I asked her to make my wedding cake and I think she was quite pleased with that. I asked the other friend if she would do a reading in the church service but she said no, she would be too nervous. So i've tried, not sure what else I can suggest to include her, but i'll keep thinking!
CommentAuthorVicky
reading or witness would be really cool
CommentAuthorExcited_bride_to_be
I'm in the same boat. I want to have photos done with them on the day. Xxx
CommentAuthorCroc
My 2 sisters are my bm as I could not choose any one else because I have 3 close girl mates and 2 close lad mates . So I chose my sisters as my bm one sister is like my best mate. I then have my 2 god daughters as flower girls which happen to be 2 of my very close friends daughters and my other close friend is doing a reading. And my whitness is my bestest mate out the 3 and the other has come to wedding fairs with me!
I'm hoping that has got me out if the situation and no one will feel left out
"better a witty fool, than a foolish wit" shakespeare
CommentAuthorNetta
The majority of attendants in our wedding party our family, there is only one set of friends who we have asked if their children could be apart of it. We were worried that friends might be upset that they weren't involved in the actual wedding itself but there has been no problems as they have pretty much stepped forward with offers to do various things as gifts for us.
On the female side the majority of our friends are doing an engagement party. If you haven't had one already how about seeing if they want to get involved in arranging that with you, or the hen-do maybe.
CommentAuthorRingo
By the time I get married my sisters will be in their late 20s so I don't think they'll fancy wearing bridesmaid dresses so I was thinking of just asking them to wear dresses in a particular colour. Instead of having particular bridesmaid dresses maybe you could tell all your friends that you want all of them to be bridesmaids but can't afford to get shoes/dresses etc etc for each of them so ask them to get dresses in a particular colour and give them all the same corsage or something. = ) just make sure you would have final say on whatever dress they pick to make sure there all the same colour = )
