Had to do a mercy dash this morning at silly o'clock to rescue my daughter (and my son who had been staying with her overnight), she is 19 and has been living with her partner for 2 years. She has bruises and there was a degree of violence, pushing around etc and they both got thrown out on the street with no belongings. So she spent the night on the sofa and now we have to sort out what to do. She cant keep on sleeping on the sofa. Going to the council on Monday but dreading them saying that she has a home now with us and therefore does not qualify for council help with accomodation. I dont really want her sleeping on my sofa indefinitely, to be honest she isnt the easiest person to live with and the tension in the house is incredible already and she's only been here a few hours! We have already sat down and gone through house rules. I think part of the problem is lack of maturity, she is 19 but acts a lot younger, nothing is too serious and all we have heard this morning is giggling despite the problems going on around us. H2B is not happy at all, very quiet and obviously not impressed. I know she is my daughter but I really cant have her living with us for too long - I believe we would fall out big time and I dont want that. So any idea what the council will do when we go down on Monday? Anyone been in this situation? Are the council just going to say that now she is with us she has a home and they dont have to provide anything for her??? PS. She has been self employed working from home but has no savings or deposit for a flat etc and all our money is taken up for the wedding, I've just been made part time and H2B lost his job just before New Year, otherwise giving her a deposit might have been an option. Aaaaarrrrgggghhhh!

hi hunni im sorry to hear that nothin worse

i lived with my aunt when i was younger due to my family not liking my dad after my mum passed but when i turned 18 she kicked me out saying she couldnt look after me anymore (even thou i never spent any time in her house i stayed with my bf now H2B most of the time and only went home when i needed a change of clothes) the real reason i foun out later was because she stopped gettin money for me as i was technically an adult the council went in her favour and helped me and my sister find a flat but because the list was so long 4 a council house we were adviced to go 4 a private let which we did then they turned round and sayed they wouldnt help us pay rent ect because i was at college and had a part-time job

be careful the council can b ur friend or foe if they say they will help u fine out exactly how (housing benifet, help with deposits ect )
i know my story has lil hope but mine was a totally different situation just tell the council u cant afford to keep ur daughter with the current climit but u couldnt leave her in the situation she was in they will have to help her coz technically shes homeless

hope this helps :) xx

Depending on what she does for work from home, if she now doesnt have the home to work in she could technically be classed as now unemployed but like I say Im unsure of the actual circumstances. xx

I'm pretty sure that there are charities that help out women who have suffered from domestic violence and that they can help with re housing etc. If you can get someone like that to help her then she will be housed a lot quicker than if you try and do it on your own.

Council houses don't go by your income as strange as it sounds. I know a couple who are in a council house and he is a bank manager. Just goes to show eh?

It may be wise to get her to apply to housing associations too very soon as the sooner she is on their list the quicker she will have a chance of being housed. I had to temporarily move back to my parents a few years ago and applied to housing associations and added within the extra information that my parents were only offering me to stay there temporarily as a favour. I was rehoused within 2 months of applying. Also if you explain to the council about not having space in your house for your daughter and about the domestic abuse she may be put into homeless accommodation until a council place becomes available. xx

Thanks for all your advice, will go to Citizens Advice and Connexions and Council on Monday, she is stopping her business in the short term and has no children. Hopefully something good will happen for her. On a side note... the lodger has also been kicked out of her house so has taken up residence with us till at least Monday too.... feeling like a home for waifs and strays now. Her ex has been to the house and cleared it out today, he didnt hang around!! Taken most of her things that they bought for the house which is a shame, all she has is a few bin bags. Never mind, possessions can be replaced, she cant.

Also you should maybe write a letter to the council stating she's not welcome to live in your home. I know that sounds harsh but sometimes telling councils there's not enough room isn't enough. They may see it as, she's on the sofa so there's space. Just write a letter they can put in their files saying "as of **date** she is no longer welcome to live with you". Like I said I know it sounds harsh but it will make them see her has homeless (which she is considering she's on the sofa but like i said the council don't see it that way).

your daughter has every chance of getting a council place. We were living in a one bed flat with our 2 children and got given a 2 bed council place. So there is hope hun. Just focus on the fact that you cant live together.

Its just such a shame, she was so happy in that house and now she has nothing, hardly any possessions, ex has cleared the house so everythings gone, even the jewellery I bought her for her 18th and her camera equipment, exam certificates, birth certificate, everything. Even her two beloved cats. Tried to get the RSCPA involved but they werent interested. As far as we know they are still in the empty house being fed and watered. We have no key to get in to get them out as ex threw her out and she had no key to get back in. Even the lodger had to give his key back, such a mess....

Anyway, as usual she is already baulking at our house rules (which arent very strict! eg. reasonable bed time as other two are studying for GCSEs and A levels, no internet after 11, no eating in the sitting room, no swearing... not too bad I dont think!!!) Trying to be as supportive as I can and to be honest if she could stick to the rules, be more committed to her work and basically grow up a bit I'm sure we could live quite happily together indefinitely. And she says now that she doesnt want to live on her own (she's never had to before...). So not sure what is going to happen. Or where to put her if she stays indefinitely!!!!

At least for now I can make sure she is clean, has clean clothes, eats well and gets a lot of sleep, to be honest she wasnt looking after herself particularly well before so its nice to see my daughter coming back to normal.

tbh i would go straight to the police ...he has stolen her belongings

Oh and being female helps too! Gets you bumped up the list a bit!

hi were we live as shes homless and itnot her fault and domestic vilonce she would be on gold plus or prority if its jst her and all she needs is a 1 bed flat she should have something quikish going on others howeve its houses that are hard to get as im class a disablied even tho im only 20 i have servia arthrutus and struggle daily and my partner is my career and i have 2 children in a small 1 bed flat my eldest is nearly 2 and still waiting

Best of luck, as you say she is not being good at sticking to the rules then I wouldn't let her stay on. This is early days, whats she gonna be like when the honeymoon period is over. Follow through with the process and try and get her homed, I am sure you can say she doesn't need the emergency housing as you don't think psychologically she could cope with that, but she does need to find a place of her own.

The other options are to look for rooms to rent. I know loads of folk, students and working people who don't want to or can't afford to live on their own, find rooms in local papers and on sites like gum t r (ee)