As most of you know, my parents have unfortunately both passed away. My Mum died 13 years ago from DVT and my Dad died 4 months ago from a very short 6 month battle with cancer. My 2 brothers will be walking me down the aisle, but I really wanted to find a way of honoring my perfect and wonderful parents on my wedding day.
The vicar at the church we are marrying said to bring a framed photo of my Mum and Dad in before the wedding and he will set up a table at the alter with that and 2 candles on. During the ceremony I will light the candles to honor them.
When my Dad was cremated I asked for a separate pot of his ashes. I plan to have some made into a necklace so I can have him close to my heart. It will be a blue stone as he was a huge Chelsea fan! At the reception, which is in the woods, I will choose the most beautiful tree and scatter his ashes under it. Every year on our wedding anniversary we will go back to the site and lay flowers for him.
My wedding day is going to be so emotional for everyone. It will be so perfect and lovely though. Planning a wedding with no parents is so hard.
xx Lady Charlotte Chamberlain to be! xx
xx Marrying my soul mate on 22nd July 2016 xx
CommentAuthorTicamis2be
Sounds like a lovely idea. So sorry for your losses hun. Such a nice thought from the vicar to set up their own table x
CommentAuthorBecci93
Other people have done big mood boards too LadyC with photos of all your favourite memories of your parents on to remind you they're still with you and love you everyday .. That way gueats can feel their personality even though they aren't there in the flesh x
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Awww LC that has brought a tear to my eye x
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorLadyC
Thank you ladies. Love the mood board idea Becci! They were such fun loving people and have some cracking ones of them in fancy dress etc. I take comfort in them being together again. They truly were soul mates. They will always be young in my mind. I don't have to watch them grow old and frail. They were the perfect parents and gave us the perfect childhood filled with love and laughter. I still can't believe they're gone to be honest. It's a very strange and scary feeling to not have their guidance and support anymore.
xx Lady Charlotte Chamberlain to be! xx
xx Marrying my soul mate on 22nd July 2016 xx
I can't imagine what that feels like LadyC .. You do have a beautiful point that at least you don't need to watch them grow old and frail .. They kept their dignity until the end by the sounds of it but still heartbreaking x
CommentAuthorMichelleC961
A www lady , that sounds just perfect, it is heartbreaking to lose a parent, let alone both, your parents sound like just like mine, they loved each other so much and enjoyed life to its full- a memory board or even slide show in the bavkground during speeches sounds a perfect way to honor and celebrate their lives :-) xxx
CommentAuthorKerryBolderson2be
Beautiful idea x
Mrs Bolderson2be
Met 31st July 2012
Engaged 31st July 2013
Becoming Mrs Bolderson 14th February 2018
CommentAuthorTicamis2be
mood board sounds great too! x
CommentAuthorLadyC
Thank you ladies
xx Lady Charlotte Chamberlain to be! xx
xx Marrying my soul mate on 22nd July 2016 xx
CommentAuthorFutureMrsW
I am so sorry for your loss, I have found it hard enough losing my mum this year, losing both parents is just unimaginable to me. You are so right that it makes planning a wedding hard in so many ways, I know it will be a happy time but still there will be an undeniable sadness to deal with as well. Your idea of lighting candles during the ceremony is so lovely! What a wonderful, poignant way of remembering them.
We are also having a 'wish you were here' wall at our reception with framed photos of our family members who won't be there, including my mum and granny and OH's grandparents.
CommentAuthorLadyC
Thank you FutureMrsW. I love the idea of a 'wish you were here' wall! I also only have 1 grandparent left. I adored my Grandpappy and miss him terribly. He went 8 years ago and I still talk about him all the time.
I'm sorry to hear about your Mum. Losing my Mum was earth shattering. I was only 19 and wasn't ready to be without her. Having my 3 babies without my Mum's support was so hard. My eldest has a picture of her in her bedroom and all my babies know Nanny Lynne. My eldest is called Evelynne after her, and my youngest has Lucy as her middle name which was my Dad's pet name for my Mum. Losing my Dad brought up all the emotions from losing my Mum too.
xx Lady Charlotte Chamberlain to be! xx
xx Marrying my soul mate on 22nd July 2016 xx
CommentAuthorBecci93
That's what effects me most about my grandmas death .. I was only 3 months old when she died and my mum was only 24 .. I honestly don't know how she coped I was her first child and finding out her mum had died on holiday in the iom where my grandad was left alone mourning his wife in a different country from all his family .. So hard
CommentAuthorFutureMrsW
My mum had been ill for a long time so there was a strange element of relief in her passing but it has still been the most difficult thing to have gone though. I count my blessings that my OH got to know her before she passed away.
I'm so glad that you at least had your dad there to support you in these past years, we can only try to appreciate the time that we get to share, even when it is horribly, unfairly too short a time. And how lovely that the people and memories live on with your own children. Though I am looking forward to hopefully becoming a mum, I am worried too about having to go through it all without her. I try not to be, but sometimes I get a bit jealous when I see brides with their mums at wedding shows and things, I just can't seem to help it :\
CommentAuthorNikkiE58
I'm so sorry to read this LadyC. I can't imagine what you went through, and I imagine the whole planning process has been especially hard at times for you. I too have seen 'wish you were here' style remembrance boards. We are planning on using one of the chairs in the front row and putting framed pictures of our lost loved ones on it, so they still have a 'seat' at our wedding, in a way. I've also heard of Brides sewing a picture of their Dad inside their Wedding dress so that they are still having their Papa walk them down the aisle? So that might be an idea worth thinking about. Another Bride wore a Locket around her bouquet tie, and it had a picture of a lost family member in it, so maybe that might be suitable for remembrance of your Mum too? I hope you don't mind the suggestions, I just thought it might be a little bit closer to your heart to actually be carrying them with you throughout your special day! Xx
CommentAuthorLadyC
Absolutely Nikki. I want to get a locket with their pictures in have it attached to my bouquet. I have my Mum's charm bracelet too.
FutureMrsW - OH was due to meet my Dad for the first time the day he died. We were told he had about 2 weeks left. He was still talking and joking until the very end. None of us could've imagined he go that day. It breaks my heart when I think OH was so close to meeting him. I know my parent's would've adored him though so I take comfort in that.
Thank you everyone for your support. I am a very positive person and I am so grateful for the parents I had. They taught me so much and every memory I have of them is a perfect one. Not everyone can say that about their childhood. I consider myself truly blessed.
xx Lady Charlotte Chamberlain to be! xx
xx Marrying my soul mate on 22nd July 2016 xx
CommentAuthorFutureMrsW
Oh no LadyC, that is so heartbreaking, I am so sorry they didn't get to meet. But your positive attitude is amazing and just so inspiring. If they hadn't been so amazing in life we wouldn't miss them so much now. We are blessed for the time we have been given :)
And at the end of the day I know it would make her sad to think of me being sad on the day, so I am determined to throw the party of a lifetime and kick my heels up all night long!
CommentAuthorJoanneH4
That's sound lovely, I think your parents would like that. I'm sorry for your losses. If your parents was here, they would be so proud of you :)
CommentAuthorLadyC
I absolutely agree FutureMrsW! My Dad loved a good party so that's exactly what we'll have.
Thank you Joanne.
xx Lady Charlotte Chamberlain to be! xx
xx Marrying my soul mate on 22nd July 2016 xx
I feel for you LadyC, no matter how old you are there's just sometimes that you need your Mum & Dad. It's hard arranging a wedding without them. My mum is in a nursing home as she has Altzheimers. Whilst she is still here in body, I lost her a long time ago. Although we fought like cat & dog at times I wish that she was still able to help me now. I plan to have a photo of her in her rightful place at the reception. You just have to think that they will be smiling down on the day to see you happy.
Met: 2nd September 2012
Engaged: 3rd January 2015
Wedding day: 2nd September 2017
CommentAuthorKirstyR386
Sorry for all your losses.
Lady C, for the photo the vicar has suggested to have in the church when you light the candles, you could have a picture of your parents on their wedding day (I'm assuming they were married - apologies if not). X
CommentAuthorLadyC
Oh Donna. Alzheimers is horrible. Have lost 2 uncles to it.
Kirsty - We thought a picture of them on their wedding would be lovely too. I have their wedding album.
xx Lady Charlotte Chamberlain to be! xx
xx Marrying my soul mate on 22nd July 2016 xx
CommentAuthorKerryBolderson2be
Sorry for your loss ladyC
Mrs Bolderson2be
Met 31st July 2012
Engaged 31st July 2013
Becoming Mrs Bolderson 14th February 2018
CommentAuthorEmily17
Maybe try to recreate an image from their wedding day if its similar setting. There's a lovely pic of my mom and dad outside the church were getting married in and I would love to recreate it
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorLadyC
Thank you ladies xx
xx Lady Charlotte Chamberlain to be! xx
xx Marrying my soul mate on 22nd July 2016 xx
CommentAuthorMichelleC961
That's such a lovely image to try and recreate Emily :-)
CommentAuthorLadyC
It is. They married in the 70s and all their guests are wearing brown! Hahaha.
xx Lady Charlotte Chamberlain to be! xx
xx Marrying my soul mate on 22nd July 2016 xx
CommentAuthorEmily17
Haha, bit of a change.
Also seen pics where bride and groom are holding a pic of each of their parents wedding.
Another idea that has sprung to mind. If you still want your dad walking down the aisle with you can get a pic to attach to your bouquet or just carry a pic instead of flowers
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorFutureMrsW
My dad wore a brown suit, cream and white striped tie and platform shoes at my parent's wedding, in 1975 haha stylish.
CommentAuthorLadyC
Love the idea of bride and groom holding pictures of their parents weddings!
It cracks me up looking at the 70s wedding fashion. I do wonder whether generations to come will think the same about our weddings.
xx Lady Charlotte Chamberlain to be! xx
xx Marrying my soul mate on 22nd July 2016 xx
CommentAuthorMichelleC961
I'm sure they will!
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
It sounds beautiful LadyC. Was there a song that they really liked that you could incorporate, either walking in or out or in the signing of the register?
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
CommentAuthorLadyC
Their song was 'Love and Affection' by Joan Armatrading. Love the idea of having that played whilst we sign the register! Thank you Elinor.
xx Lady Charlotte Chamberlain to be! xx
xx Marrying my soul mate on 22nd July 2016 xx
CommentAuthorJoanneH4
That's a really good song. Either way you do it, your parents will be proud of you x
CommentAuthorLadyC
Thank you Joanne.
xx Lady Charlotte Chamberlain to be! xx
xx Marrying my soul mate on 22nd July 2016 xx
