When i first started planning my hen night i messaged everyone regarding my ideas and costs and asked who would be up for it just for rough numbers.
When i deffinately knew what i wanted to do, I messaged everyone again and said i needed to know for deffinate whos coming as i was going to put down the deposits for the party coach and vip area in the club. Again they all said they would deffinately be there...
Now its costing £40 but everyones known since last october and i said i would collect it in january but now getting people to pay up is a nightmare!!!!!
Ive had 9 people drop out in the last couple of weeks which has really annoyed me!!! (now make that 10 people!)
I split the costs for the night between all the people who said they were coming (i paid the 2 deposits so cost me £100) Now because im down by 9 people ill have to fork out even more just to cover the costs of those have dropped out!!
So angry! Why are people SO bloody un-reliable!!!
Did anyone else have trouble like this with their hen night?? x x
CommentAuthorLulu1388
Aw no, and you were doing so well! They are more hassle than they are worth aren't they! Do people not realise we got enough to worry about and work out other than our hens? a simple answer is all you want and is all you need yet they cant give you that. I'm sorry people have dropped out but you still have those nearest and dearest to you going right?
I haven't got as far as booking anything yet. its taken me 3-4 weeks to chase people to find out if they are able to or even want to come! whats worse is after setting up the fb group & seeing everyone had 'seen' it, they didnt reply. I text them all and low & behold they've all seen it but haven't bothered telling me they can or cant!! So now finally i have definite yes, definite no and a couple maybes. So now i can begin to double check prices & find something to confirm! Then will book and if people drop out they can still pay im sorry but enoughs enough!
Absolute nightmare!
x
Every Once In a While In The Middle of an Ordinary Life
. . . Love Gives Us a Fairytale. . .
CommentAuthorxbeckix88
My nearest and dearest are still going but its just so damn annoying that people have said yes deffinately coming then dropped out!
Arh im struggling to pay out for the wedding as it is now im going to have to pay out another £100 to cover everyone who dropped out !!
CommentAuthorLulu1388
oh definitely know how annoying it can be. im sorry that your having to fork out more for it though thats not fair :( x
Every Once In a While In The Middle of an Ordinary Life
. . . Love Gives Us a Fairytale. . .
CommentAuthorxbeckix88
Its not like i can cancle it and plan something else all the deposits are non-refundable x
ah no really. so you said it was a £100 deposit right? And your looking at another £100 for it now....
So why dont you weigh out what it would cost to do something else?And if it comes to near enough £100 you may as well stick with what your doing originally cause your obviously going to have to fork out for a new 1 or this one? Do you understand what I mean? xx
Every Once In a While In The Middle of an Ordinary Life
. . . Love Gives Us a Fairytale. . .
CommentAuthormillz090
Ah thats a shame honey, can you reduce the package or what your doing to make it cheaper?
I gave all my hens a date to pay their deposits by and sent them my bridesmaids bank details so could pay directly and then i could go and book the main deposits so i know who was coming.... i have found a few people have said YES to coming but actually not done anything about it so shows how keen they really are.
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthorxbeckix88
Not really :( im trying to re-arrange transport maybe just get a taxi home instead of a return party coach to cut back.
Just angers me i was planning to go magaluf with a few close girl mates and i ditched it to have a hen night over here with all my friends and half havent bothered x
CommentAuthorMrsWright290912
Becki, I had 12 people coming to my hen do as of the Friday morning, by the Friday night I had 6 people.
Sadly it's not their priority sometimes and don't understand what it means to a bride to be. I ended up having my hubby come, some of our male friends and we had a great night
I really did marry my Mr Wright and we had a nice day for a
Wright wedding!
Mexico for our first anniversary <3
CommentAuthorLulu1388
Aw hun :( it really is a stress you dont need. Ive had to change my plans from something like abroad to a one nighter cause of certain people, and turns out those people aren't even sure if they can come at all now!
Hope you can rearrange the transport and stuff, im sure they will understand, you arent the only hen to have gone through change of plans/numbers etc unfortunately. Im sure whatever you end up doing it will be a fun night and those who cant be bothered or cant come will miss out on a fab night. Hope you can sort something out xx
Every Once In a While In The Middle of an Ordinary Life
. . . Love Gives Us a Fairytale. . .
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Oh no hun, what a nightmare! Sorry you're having a bad time with the Hen, it's really unfair when people do that, especially when you then have to fork out for them dropping out too.
Some people can be so unreliable and I personally find it rude, if I commit to something that I make sure I go unless I'm really ill or some emergency comes up but I've seen it so many times (not on Hen's but on my birthday) people say they will come and then every year they come up with a last minute excuse why then cannot make it.
As for my Hen, I have no idea what's happening with it and my sister and best mate have assumed full control and won't tell me anything and my friends who are all invited aren't letting on about anything either so who know's what my weekend is going to be like!
HUGS for you hun, I hope those most important will be there for you xx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorSazzell23
Oohhh nooo thats horrible hun, not fair on you at all!!! Some people are so selfish in life. Can you speak to the 9 hens that are left, tell them the situation and you never know they may suggest to chip in a little bit extra to help you out? Do you think these people are dropping out cus of the problem with the ex-bridesmaid and she is influencing them? Maybe you could speak to the people who have dropped out and ask them if they really cant come cus you have paid out for them on the basis that they did say yes!! xxx
CommentAuthorJennyHeather
I'm waiting for people start dropping out on mine after all the stress of trying to sort it out.
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
My matron of honour will be in charge of the hen do, so it will be up to her to chase people up. All I will need to do is make sure that she doesn't end up out of pocket. She's a hard person to say no to so I wouldn't anticipate many people dropping out with her persuading them to come. :)
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
CommentAuthorxbeckix88
Sazzell23- yes I know for a fact that bm has spoken to 3 of them and that's why they've dropped out. I'm not going to ask them why if they're willing to believe something she said they should all know me enough to realise that's not true!
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
It sucks, this has happened to a few friends of mine.
We actually collected the money of people before booking, although we are only having seven people at the 'main' hen do, which is a cottage break in Whitby.
We will have a night out before the wedding too for everybody else.
I hate it when people agree to things and then don't come through xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorxbeckix88
I was really upset about it the other day especially when theyve fobbed me off with excuses about being skint then have accepted other peoples birthday events on book of face that are before my hen night and said theyre going or have posted about going away/new clothes theyve just bought but now i just think oh well theyre obviously not that bothered about me and my good friends are coming it will still be great!
me, my sister, my best mate and another friend are booking to see the dream boys the evening before the wedding too as a little last min hen / girlie night which im looking forward too :)
It has also shown which of my mates really do care. Ive had 2 of my friends asking if they could bring a extra friend each to boost numbers so i didnt have to pay out which was sweet of them and would be nice to get to meet some new people.
CommentAuthorLulu1388
aw hun *big hugs* I'm glad your still going ahead and sounds like you have some lovely friends who are up for sending you off in style! And dreamboys night before sounds fab :D
It sucks its come down to something like this, an added stress you really didnt need in order to see what your mates are like in this light but at the end of the day, like you say you have those around you who care and you will have a fab time either way :D xx
Every Once In a While In The Middle of an Ordinary Life
. . . Love Gives Us a Fairytale. . .
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
I personally am sure you will have a much better time with the people who are your TRUE friends, as they will be the ones that you remain close to in years to come.
Xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
And like you say, if they want to bring a friend, its a good opportunity to meet new people too xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorxbeckix88
Yeah ive met a couple of the friends that my friends are bringing and they seem lovely so maybe a good opportunity to make some new friends.
My other bm is still blanking all my messages about hen do so im just not going to bother now.
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
I would be annoyed at this too, I'm not getting married til next year but already having issues myself when trying to get ideas out there x
Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
CommentAuthorxbeckix88
edited
I knew maybe one of 2 would drop out but like i said its fustrating when i asked them if they could deffinately come and if they werent sure just say no for now and i could add them on later but NO they all assured me they were deff up for it and 100% coming then 10 of them drop out leaving me out of pocket now!!
Think theres still 26 of us so a good number. One of my friends said last night 2 of her mates said theyd come only if they could pay £20 which i thought was extreamley cheeky and rude! hardly fair on everyone else putting in £40 then they pay £20 but still expect all the drinks and freebies too!
I think its the excuses that have p*ssed me off the most - too skint yet manage to buy tickets to to shows out drinking and buying new outfits! One of my h2bs mates gfs told me she had vet bills to pay and when my h2b said it to another of his mates (whos knows them and works with her) apparently she uses that as an excuse all the time when she doesnt want to go somewhere! Why ohy why didnt she say when i first asked her i said if its not your sort of thing dont worry if dont want to come!
CommentAuthornadia13
How frustrating why can't people just b honest in the 1st place, if they say no up front it's not like u b 2 upset u just wanna know who's coming or not!!! I did a Facebook event page & asked every1 and then told them the depoist had to b paid by a date (£5 deposit each) and asked who wasn't coming please let me know, and of course some didn't even say anything (family mostly) but I only booked for the people that paid the depoist, apart from 1 woman who asked if she b coming after I booked it and I told her that I did say that I b booking on this day but I managed 2 get her in anyhow!! And I've even got the same family members who haven't even told me they r not coming 2 the wedding!!! Nice they have my phone number my H2B email address our home address and can get in touch by Facebook but not 1 has said they can't make it, how hard can it b 2 txt ya that??? Sorry 4 ranting lol
CommentAuthorxbeckix88
Haha rant away!
Thats so rude! Thats what half of mine did i sent messages around saying if your not coming please let me know as ive had x amount of people drop out and thats when they decided to tell me actually they werent coming!
WHY cant they just tell me why wait until i contact them!! URHHHHH
CommentAuthornadia13
People r just such hard work, and rude!!! It's not like we have a fit or anything if they say they r not coming, just need 2 know so we can plan it all x
CommentAuthorxbeckix88
I know!!! Ive had 2 more possibly drop out its becoming abit of a joke. 1 or 2 people fair enough but ive had 12 people drop out now!!
Im going to have to fork out myself to cover all the costs! Wish id just gone abroad with a couple of my close mates like i originally had planned!
CommentAuthorxbeckix88
Theres always those couple of people too that say theyre deffinately coming and how they cant wait but as soon as you contact them about paying you dont hear back from them lol annoying!!!!!!
CommentAuthorLulu1388
I've finally booked mine and still having a palava over it, and low and behold 3 days ago had 2 of my oldest friends saying they defo would turned to hmmm not sure if i can now.... they have 2 days to pay the deposit now (its out of my hands) they can do what they want and im passed caring to be honest with you!! my 'new' friends who cant make it unfortunately, have all turned round and said theyre going to sort out a night out the wkend after, just locally... to make up for it!! ive known these girls 5 minutes and they all want to do something whereas my oldest cba!!!
Yeh i was texting a mate the other day, proper convo, then i happened to mention that she needs to pay deposit by weds if she can come, have i heard back?! xx
Every Once In a While In The Middle of an Ordinary Life
. . . Love Gives Us a Fairytale. . .
CommentAuthorxbeckix88
Oh dear!!
SNAP!! those who i havent known too long have made more effort then those who were my oldest and cloest mates!!!
Its annoying when they just blank my messages about paying up yet are on fb updating their status! I dont get why youd say you cant wait and booked it off work then avoid questions about paying!
Was supposed to have everyones money 2 and 1/2 weeks ago still got 5 peoples to collect!
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
Go door to do becki .... Ppl can't fob u off as much to your face x
Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
CommentAuthorxbeckix88
I'm just not bothering now!
That girl has just turned around and said she's dropped out as she can't afford being jobless (which she's been for months now so don't know why it's taken this long to realise) and she's now got another hen night weekend before x
CommentAuthorHelainaH
I know how you feel, I've had the same issue with drop outs (although not as bad) :-( Two decided to book their holiday over the weekend of my henny (even though they've known the date since November), and another has been invited to another party so dropped mine. What really annoys me is that they all knew that the chief BM was searching for deals on a Europe long weekends for a large group, but waitied until the actual invite went out to tell us.
But I believe I will have a better time with the friends who are making an effort to be there.
Im really sorry that you've had to suffer financially because of this, that really poor of them not to say anything sooner!!
CommentAuthorxbeckix88
Oh no!
Just dont know what is wrong with people. If i was invited to a hen night and i couldnt make id let them know asap not keep ignoring messages and leave to the very last minute.
It gets me because it is only £40 and most of them are out drinking all the time, shopping, days out and have known since last october yet couldnt put abit away here and there. Kind of upsetting that they obviously think that little of me that they cant be bothered to make the effort!
Im cutting out our topless waiter now just to save us £60 as it would be me paying out for it. I know its not the end of the world but i really wanted one and all the little bits i had planned which i can no longer have because of people dropping out!
CommentAuthorLulu1388
yeh i did the same last night, cause its through a company i dont have any control anymore, they have to pay deposit by tomorrow at latest or they are off the booking... i asked someone who originally said defo coming (i was also thanking her for sending rsvp back) and she all of a sudden piped up she couldnt make it to the hen... was she going to tell me ??? dont think so!
So after changing and changing my plans for everyone, the only people who are coming are those who were coming originally and those ive changed it for now cant make it, all these things i would of loved to do but couldnt! doesnt bother me, the people who are there are the ones i want there, and its who not how many but that is besides the point! As all through company i have a few spare spaces so put a status on fb about it just incase anybody wants a night out whilst i still have space available and a girl who cant make it (one of the new ones) has already told me shes got my 2nd hen night, the local one, all sorted out and planned with my MOH! we only started discussing it on saturday... why cant my oldest ones be like her too?!!
Yeh im the same, if someone invites me to ANYTHING i would let them know immediately if i can, cant, or if there is a chance I may not be able to then I'd ask them if its ok to let them know in a few days or week or something. I wouldnt just ignore it. Whats worse is on fb when you know they have seen and read it and commenting on other peoples statuses so why cant they spend 30 seconds just replying to you?! and like you those who ' need to save' i have spent last few months letting them know max and min prices so they know how much to sort of save... and one girl who is now umming and ahhin over if can afford to come, is out drinking, smoking, planning to go london to see friends etc and shes the one who wanted a proper price breakdown ready for when pay time came!
Oh and get this, i couldnt do anything abroad cuz my fsil couldnt afford to etc, and after changing it for as cheap as possible to mainly suit her - shes getting married in nov so cut backs, shes gone and forked out for her 13 hens a weekend in Paris in August!!! Found out noone has paid her back yet, costing us all 250 each... thats just accom and flights... no food or taxis... from fri to sunday... yet she cant find 100 on her credit card (which she used for these deposits btw, 153 each...) for a night in leeds with lunch cocktail making, 3 course dinner and drinks, plus entry into clubs/bars, and then breakfast in morning, and overnight accom...?!
Oh well becki, maybe you and i should of done something together haha xx
Every Once In a While In The Middle of an Ordinary Life
. . . Love Gives Us a Fairytale. . .
CommentAuthorxbeckix88
Its so fustrating isnt it!!
We were going to go to magaluf but i said id have it over here instead so all my "friends" could make it! WIsh i hadnt of bothered to be honest!!
Sounds a good idea about a status on fb i may do that see if there is anyone who originally said no or anyone i missed that can make to fill some of my places!!
Haha i think we should of lol!!!!
CommentAuthorMichelleB2b
Sorry to hear you are going through all this stress. I think it is really nice that some of the girls coming have suggested that they bring some other people along too to make up the numbers. Just make sure when you go out, that you have the best time ever and make sure you put loads of pictures of facebook to rub it in the other's noses as they are obviously not your real friends. xxx
CommentAuthorMrs Ross
hahahaha becki and lula we should of all done something together as ive had people say yeah deffo be there then not make it its so annoying!!!!
CommentAuthorxbeckix88
It drives me nuts when people are un-reliable and let you down especially when they tell you a lie as to why they cant make argggg!
We should deffo of all got together haha x
CommentAuthorLulu1388
well my one friend, told me on monday shed pay then or tuesday as deadline was weds... weds i get the company ringing me saying people havent paid, i said unfortunately 4 couldnt but 1 i was still waiting on. text her, she said i dont know if can afford it... she told me weeks ago she had started saving and she was the 1 who kept bugging me for exact figures and stuff... so long story short, she's paid deposit but isnt sure if will have rest by 23rd when have to pay rest.... is always about her!!! well i told her shouldnt pay deposit if cant afford it. i cba anymore to be nice!!! Anyway she paid it. its now the 6 of us. all done. final payments by 23rd. I got to pay an extra £54 as only 6 of us and cocktail making min was 8... i cant expect the 3 who have happily paid etc and been easy and excited to pay extra for other peoples issues etc but im happy.
I then find out that this girl who cant afford my hen... is off to london this weekend to go and get high... firstly, grow up, secondly how can you afford to!?! this is what i dont get!
well theres a group of girls ive only jsut recently befriended - work colleagues of my MOH. they are all busy so cant make it to my hen but have all turned round and said they are planning to do soemthing couple a weeks before wedding as last hen night for me... the one put on fb that its all secret and theyre all concocting a plan with my MOH... see why couldnt this of happend 3 months ago?! really!!!
I hope it will be worth all the stress i really do... wish it was just me my MOH and these 2 other girls... but yeh should work out nice in the end the 6 of us. I'll ignore any jip i get from this last girl - she always has to make it about her, always got some issue or another but hey ho, hens booked its done, we're having it, i then have another 1 few wks after so should be a laugh!!!
Sorry for taking over your rant thread Becki... i hate that your going through all this stress...we defo dont deserve it, not at all!!!
xx
Every Once In a While In The Middle of an Ordinary Life
. . . Love Gives Us a Fairytale. . .
CommentAuthorxbeckix88
Haha lulu thats fine rant away!!
It is added stress! I hope your hen goes well and that girl doesnt make it all about her. Some people can be so fustrating!
I had a "mate" just like her it all had to be about her 24/7 drove me nuts! we now dont talk (this is why i lost 4 people for hen do because of her and my ex bm) but i feel alot less stressed without her in my life now so its turned out to be a good thing...wel except the 4 added spaces on my hen do haha x
CommentAuthorStaceyP91
Oh dear girlies, the amount of trouble you are all having! I'm dreading planning mine! :( I invited over 150 people to my 21st and about 60 turned up iff that, which I'm also dreading for the wedding :( and hen party.
Hope it all gets sorted for you soon. Xxx
30-11-13 my life becomes complete
Mrs Solomon to be <3
CommentAuthorxbeckix88
Oh no Stacey :( hopefully that won't happen on your hen do!!!!
I'm still chasing people up for money month after due date I said I needed it by!! Stressing me out!!
I'm thinking about asking 2 girls I work with if they'd like to come? I keep ummm'ing and arrrrrr'ing about it as I've only known them 2 months? Mind you I have people I've only met once coming with my mates? Thoughts?
CommentAuthorMrsH-2B
I'm glad I'm not having a hen do !! I had the same thing with my 21st birthday meal last year, 30 people said they were coming and ended up with 16 on the night ! Had a great night still, but was really annoying all the same..
Me and H2B (if we have any spare monies) are arranging a hen's vs stag's go karting or paint balling or something like that for ours.. Neither of us believe in the whole night/weekend away stuff..
I'd invite the girls from work hun.. It'd be nice to get to know them outside of work and means less money to pay out for you if they say yes ! xx
I can't wait to become his Wife :-) <3
4th July 2015 <3
CommentAuthorxbeckix88
Ooo i love that idea Georgi! I may suggest that to h2b he loves go karting!!
I was also planning a meal but theres No way im doing that now as i have to put down £5 a head deposit and the way people have let me down i know they wouldnt turn up!
Ive sent them both a message asking them and what the plan is but not to worry if its not there sort of thing x
CommentAuthorMrsH-2B
It works out best for us cause 1. Like I said neither of us believe in the night out thing and 2. I'm not a 'spa day' type of girl lol.. Don't like people touching me.. Furthest I'll go is a manicure or pedicure !
Just hope we get some spare money to actually do it.. At the moment it doesnt look like we will but you never know !
Aww good ! Hope they say yes ! xxx
I can't wait to become his Wife :-) <3
4th July 2015 <3
CommentAuthorxbeckix88
edited
Argggg ive literally had another person who has paid tell me they dont know if they can make it now and would a friend like to buy her space off her for £20.
Im sorry but i did say if you drop out its tough im not refunding anyones money as ive paid off for the people who said they were coming !!
It really starting to get to me! overall ive had 15 people drop out now from the original 34 who said they were coming. :(
CommentAuthorMrsH-2B
You'll have to tell her that there's nobody to buy her place and that you can't refund her either ! Don't go eating into your wedding fund just because people are being pains in the back sides !!! You're not making them drop out, it's their own fault if they lose money ! If they had booked it individually then they wouldn't get their money back, the company would tell them to go stuff, they're trying to bully you it seems.. STAY STRONG and say NO ! :-)
xx
I can't wait to become his Wife :-) <3
4th July 2015 <3
CommentAuthorxbeckix88
Luckily one of the girls from work said she was deff up for it so nabbed her £20 place! Thankgod!
It really is grinding me down now!
CommentAuthorMrsH-2B
Thats a start ! Couldn't people that are actually going find a couple more friends to make up the rest of the money ? I know its not ideal to have strangers on your hen do, but at least it keeps pennies in your pocket !
Don't let it grind you down hun, I know losing money is never fun, but just see it as a learning curve.. Never take anyones word for anything and make them pay you before you pay someone else ! xx
I can't wait to become his Wife :-) <3
4th July 2015 <3
