im not getting married untill next august and yet my controlling in-laws are planning hen "night" for me already, things i do NOT want to do and people i do NOT want there!
1st of all we are on a budget for the wedding and in general everyday living! so we are really saving at the moment. my h2b and me have been abroad once to spain and we haven't been able to go since due to money. we have 2 beautiful daughters and have only taken our eldest to wales on a sun holiday. my in-laws however go abroad once or twice a year and my sister in-law between three or four times (she lives at home and doesn't pay anything apart from her car) ... SO mil and sil start asking me where we are going for the hen night (i would quite happily go to town, have a meal, go to a couple of bars and a couple of clubs then go home) before i get time to say anything sil says "we HAVE to go away for a week! where do you want to go? i think zante or magaluf..." mil then interupts "yeah that sounds great... aww ill have to tell **** (HER FRIEND!) and ******** (ANOTHER OF HER FRIENDS!) they will be so excited!" ................ im sorry but WTF?! if i can't afford to take my children on holiday why would i pay to go away for a week when we are saving for the wedding, to somewhere i don't want to go, with people i don't want to go with?! especially since mil has invited whoever she wants without even asking me, they are HER friends not mine, AND most of my female or gay friends are students, and my family would not be able to afford it either so it would basically just be me, my mom, mil, sil, and all mil's friends!!! NOT HAPPY.
eventually after biting my tongue for a while i just said i would not be able to afford it and i would not be going anywhere for a hen week!
2nd time sil brings it up again but says "ok we will go away for a weekend TO another city, you can't just go out into town!" ... why can't i?! i don't want to go away and waste loads of money, i' m not even bothered about a hen night!
AGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
not only that but h2b's friends are the same and trying to make him go to amsterdam for the week. i have the same arguements for that and more... we can't afford a family holiday, h2b doesn't want to go he wants to go on an adventure day and to go out in town, the only reasons to go to amsterdam are for weed, prostitutes or strippers i greatly doubt that his friends want to for the beautiful sights lol. so we are both in the same situation really but its easier for him to tell his friends than it is for me to tell his family!!
i know im being an absolute wuss and should just tell them but even when i do they don't listen and if they do then its more than my lifes worth to argue with them!!
RANT OVER! THANKS X
CommentAuthorTrish Goddard
Awww... i think the best thing is Let them continue to "Talk" about what they want you to do and where they want you to go... as you have ages to worry about that...
then the time you can tell them straight that you will be having the Hen Night that YOU want regardless of what they say.. its YOU and H2Bs wedding so do it YOUR way!! xx
CommentAuthorx~Hails~x
first id say right its my hen we WILL be doing what I WANT with the PEOPLE i want there.............Then i would put someone in charge of sorting it who you trust will do what YOU want and if they dont like it well TOUGH!!!
If they still insist on going away somewher then try asking them to pay for you or even say instead of them paying all this money for a week away for a hen how about they contribute towards your honeymoon with the money instead lol
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CommentAuthorNatashaParkes
i know i know ive really go to tell them but i think i might wait a while! thats a really good idea about about asking for the money for the honeymoon!! i doubt they would say yes though because they won't be coming... well knowing my in-laws they'll probably try.
that sun holiday i was on about that we took our daughter on, the ils decided that they were going to come and stay in the same caravan as us lol... NOT a good holiday.
and mil just told me she was staying at the hotel the night before no matter what... i only wanted a couple of my friends and my mom to stay because i can act the same with them and have fun. i have to tread on egg shells and act differently with the ils, i can't be myself and i really wanted to be relaxed the night before the wedding. and its not one of those things that i can say no you can't stay only my mom and my friends can :S x
CommentAuthorsuzky123
id just say the hen do is being left to the moh to organise and you are not to know anything about it or to discuss it. Also say you have no control over guest lists or anything.
cant wait to be Mrs Evans less than 3 weeks woooo
start weight 10st 1.5 lbs
weight now 8st 4.5 lbs
total loss to date: 24.5 lbs now need to maintain!
me and my mohs are planning my hen nights NOW and im getting married next august (one weekend abroad with about 12 girls) and then a huge meal and clubbing with lots! basically cuz i want to select girlies and give them chance to save and show interest for the weekend abroad one!
i would not however go for a week and not with all of the in laws and their friends! the rules are I choose the guests and we go for a pamper weekend in barcelona lol xxx
CommentAuthorMrsSnedden2B
I had the same problem with my h2b pals they wanted to take him away for a week in june over his birthday!!! i said no chance and we cant afford it they said that they would pay for everything and i said and what if i want to see him on his birthday there reply u can see him next year!! on top of that they wanted to take him away the weekend before the wedding till the wednesday! i had to put my foot down and went f'ing mental saying u think u can take hime away and have him back 2 days before the wedding i dont think so dont think they undrstand how much we have 2 do in the last week and we r the first ones out of our friends 2 get married which i think makes it worse as they want to go mental. So just breath and tell them plan and simple to F OFF its my hen party and i will do what i like end off!!! xx
CommentAuthorKazza
I would let them go on about it all they want. Speak with YOUR friends and decide what you want to do nearer the time then tell the inlaws whats happening and they are more than welcome to come enjoy the evening You want not the weekend they want...x
CommentAuthorMadam Butterfly
Do you have a MOH or Chief Bridemaid who should be doing the organising? Someone you trust to arrange things you want to do. Then you can tell them you have put someone in charge of the Hen Do and whatever she says, goes. After all its traditional for the MOH to organise it!
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CommentAuthorMrsBroady2B
I'm lucky because no one has been telling me what to do for mine, but for my H2B it's a different story. His best man has also been saying that they are all going to Ansterdam. Thing is my H2B is a bit of a sucker on a follower, but I'll be very very cross if he goes there. We are the same as you. Money is really tight and we have been together for nearly 7 years and never been abroad. Cant even afford the passports as there are 4 of us to get for. So yeh I'd be mad too as we have never had a family holiday abroad.
