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    • SophieM401
      Posted: Jul 26th 2016
    Hi ladies so it's been 11 days since I got married it was the most wonderful day, better than I could of ever imagined. We went on our honeymoon to a cottage in Cumbria for a few days just what we needed! Anyway while we were away I wasn't feeling great tired m, sore boobs I thought it was the after effects and my period being due!! I ended up doing a test as there was just this niggling feeling and I got a positive this will be our third but dh doesn't think right now is a good time to have it he says we have so much to pay for afterwards it will put a huge strain on us I don't know what to do i always said I would never ever get rid of a baby And I know in some ways he is right but I just don't know if I can bring myself to do it to me it's my child a baby and I am worried what effect it would have for us in the long run he isn't angry with me or shouting just keeps saying it's not the right time and maybe next year we could think about it! I haven't spoken with anyone about this thank you xx
    • LeanneR0186
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jul 27th 2016
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    You have to do what is right for you and your family Sophie. No one can tell you what to do, It's you that will have to live with the feelings so its got to be 100% your choice either way. Glad you had a lovely wedding day. xx

    Members signature icon
    The Richardson's 31/12/16

    • LauraH813
      Posted: Jul 27th 2016
    Hi Sophie, I am very much of the opinion that every women has a right to choose when it comes to pregnancy. From personal experience I had a termination many years ago. It was what I wanted and I have no regrets, however from time to time I think about what might have been had I gone through with the pregnancy and ofcourse there is a very small amount of guilt. I think that's only natural tho and its nothing i cant live with. I guess the questions you need to ask yourself are, can you live with it? Will you forgive your husband if he pressures you into a termination? What affect will it have on your marriage long term? He may be able to close the book on the situation if you have a termination but will you? I understand his concerns but I doubt once he holds the baby in his arms he will still be angry. He may just need more time to get used to the idea.
    The person you really need to be talking to is your husband. Decide how you truly feel about your options and then sit him down for a serious but calm discussion. I hope you sort things out.
    • StephanieM158
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jul 27th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
    Hi Sophie. Im a huge believer in doing what is right for you.
    I hate to put this online but my OH was very much against having our first baby. He begged me to have a termination as we werent emotionally, finacially ready for a baby. I was so ready for children so I stood my ground and told him I would have the baby alone and he could be as involved as he wanted to be.
    We stuck together and now my daughter (9) is the most amazing little girl I have ever known, shes smart intelligent and bubbly and I look at her and her Dad together and can just feel how much they love each other.

    I can understand his concerns, we have two children and the thought another baby makes me feel ill. I begged my partner to have the snip but he wouldnt so now Im on the depo injection. If I fell pregnant I still wouldnt terminate despite my complete fear of having any more children. I promised I would stay at home until my kids where in school (no judgement on working mothers its just not for me) and I absolutely cannot wait to go back to work.

    I digress, apologies. My point is, even if this is his initial reaction stick with your descision. He wont leave you it just may take him a while to come around and like the post above- I seriously doubt he'll feel resentment/anger when hes holding the baby in his arms.
    Talk with him, give him space, whatever he needs just to let him get his head around it. Good luck sorting things out. xx

    Members signature icon
    Met 2004
    Engaged 2014
    Getting Married 2016
    • Flossie
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jul 27th 2016
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    Hi Sophie, without knowing you or your husband to me it sounds like he may just be a bit scared/shocked/surprised that things have happened so quickly - marriage is a big enough step but to then take the next step and have a baby is huge. Maybe he is just feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment. I would sit down with him and talk it through - whilst you need to do what is right for both of you, this is YOUR body so please don't feel pressured into doing anything you don't want to do.

    I am terrible for wanting and needing to plan things, I always want things to happen at the "perfect" moment and the thought of falling pregnant right now scares me to death... however, if I was to fall pregnant, I know we'd make the best go of it that we could despite not being in the perfect place right now. Is there ever really a perfect time anyway???

    Sometimes you just have to deal with the hand that life has dealt you... hopefully your husband will see that. Good luck sorting everything out xx

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    • NicoleW665
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Jul 28th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
    if you don't want to have a termination but end up having one this may put a different kind of strain on the two of you, this is a difficult decision and sorry to see you have to struggle with it. This definitely calls for a quiet night just the two of you to really sit down and speak to each other, thoughts and feelings completely in the open and hopefully you will agree on the best option x

    Members signature icon
    When we met: August 2009
    When we announced engagement: December 2015
    When we will get married: September 2017
    • AnikaM60
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Jul 28th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
    I'm in the same mind as everyone else. It really is a choice you have to make. I definitely wouldn't go through with it if it's something you know you will regret or resent your husband for because this is something you can't take back, but at the same time if you think it's for the best to get a termination then that's also a hard decision you need to make. You sound as if you want to keep the baby from what you've said and either way it's a hard decision. If you do decide to keep the baby you maybe have clothes cot ect from previous pregnancies or family members that have baby things stored away so the initial cost isn't so terrifying. Maybe invest in some good cloth nappies so you don't have to keep buying those. I really wish you the best. You and oh will have to weigh up what's best but the most important thing is to listen to yourself.
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