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  1.  
    • Anna-LouiseA
      CommentAuthorAnna-LouiseA
      Posted: Mar 15th 2016
     
    Hi all,

    I recently got engaged on our 8 year anniversary and we're planning to get married on our 10 year anniversary in 2018.
    I already know 2 bridesmaids for definite and ideally I would like to keep it simple and just have those 2. However, years ago when I was quite close to her, I mentioned I would probably have my partner's cousin, although now we have grown apart. I know what she is like and she will be expecting to be asked, but also if I have her I would have to include her teenage sister etc. I don't want to cause a big issue and I'm worrying how I should approach it.

    Any advice would be much appreciated!

    Thanks

    Future Mrs Bradshaw x

    Members signature icon
    Met February 2008
    Got engaged February 2016
    Become Mr & Mrs Bradshaw 11th February 2018 x
  2.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Mar 15th 2016
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      edited
     
    If it was me I would just stick with your 2 definite bridesmaids. I wouldn't just ask someone because I thought they'd expect to be asked, or to keep the peace/please other people - you should have exactly who you want, those people who are going to help make your day extra special. If you and your partner's cousin have now grown apart then I don't think she should expect to be asked. If she makes it an issue then it's her problem not yours x

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  3.  
    • LeanneR0186
      CommentAuthorLeanneR0186
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Mar 15th 2016
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
      edited
     
    Hi,

    Congratulations :)

    I agree with Flossie, also BM's can be expensive (we are having 5) I would only have the people you really want to be one, its such a privilege to be asked, you shouldn't feel like you have to ask people, it should be people you want. xx

    Members signature icon
    The Richardson's 31/12/16


  4.  
    • Ellie95
      CommentAuthorEllie95
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Mar 15th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Congratulations!

    Just remember that it's your day and you shouldn't have someone you don't want just because they think they should be asked, like Leanne said Bridesmaids are expensive :) xoxo

    Members signature icon
    Met May 2013
    Engaged December 2015
    Getting Married 22nd June 2018! <3
  5.  
    • Ellie95
      CommentAuthorEllie95
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Mar 15th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Sorry for the double post, but if you have to have her because she's made a scene or something, I suggest you ask her to pay for her dress so you won't really be out of pocket for a bridesmaid you don't want :)

    Hope this helps xoxo

    Members signature icon
    Met May 2013
    Engaged December 2015
    Getting Married 22nd June 2018! <3
  6.  
    • LeanneR0186
      CommentAuthorLeanneR0186
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Mar 15th 2016
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     


    Members signature icon
    The Richardson's 31/12/16


  7.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Mar 15th 2016
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I agree with the others, don't have someone that you're not close to out of a sense of obligation. If it was your partner's sister it would be different. Perhaps you can find her and her sister another role, like female ushers.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  8.  
    • Anna-LouiseA
      CommentAuthorAnna-LouiseA
      Posted: Mar 15th 2016
     
    Thanks everyone that's really helpful! Was getting myself in a right old state and we haven't even booked our venue yet!

    Female ushers is a good idea, I'll have a think

    Members signature icon
    Met February 2008
    Got engaged February 2016
    Become Mr & Mrs Bradshaw 11th February 2018 x
  9.  
    • LeanneR0186
      CommentAuthorLeanneR0186
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Mar 15th 2016
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    Or you could ask her to do a reading? I did one at a my step brothers wedding and it was nice to be included. x

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    The Richardson's 31/12/16


  10.  
    • Ellie95
      CommentAuthorEllie95
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Mar 15th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Glad we've helped :)

    I only got my date yesterday and my OH mum has already asked if his sister is being bridesmaid lol xoxo

    Members signature icon
    Met May 2013
    Engaged December 2015
    Getting Married 22nd June 2018! <3
  11.  
    • LeanneR0186
      CommentAuthorLeanneR0186
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Mar 15th 2016
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    Have you decided on your BM yet Ellie? We are having OH'S sister as one of ours which is why we are having 5, I have had my other 4 picked for years lol. xx

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    The Richardson's 31/12/16


  12.  
    • Ellie95
      CommentAuthorEllie95
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Mar 15th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Still stuck on whether to ask my auntie or not, and I haven't asked my OH's cousins yet put I'm set on them if they agree :P xoxo

    Members signature icon
    Met May 2013
    Engaged December 2015
    Getting Married 22nd June 2018! <3
  13.  
    • LeanneR0186
      CommentAuthorLeanneR0186
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Mar 15th 2016
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    Are you not having your FSIL then? I really liked the idea of asking your auntie, she looks so young, she won't look out of place at all I think. xx

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    The Richardson's 31/12/16


  14.  
    • Ellie95
      CommentAuthorEllie95
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Mar 15th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Yeah I will be, have no choice really, tbh she's a spoilt brat, harsh I know ahah, she'll be 10 when we get married xoxo

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    Met May 2013
    Engaged December 2015
    Getting Married 22nd June 2018! <3
  15.  
    • Emily17
      CommentAuthorEmily17
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Mar 15th 2016
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    At least aged 10 she can be a flower girl / junior bridesmaid Ellie

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    Met in 2009
    He proposed Jan 2014
    Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
  16.  
    • Ellie95
      CommentAuthorEllie95
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Mar 15th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I'll be having her as a bridesmaid, at 10 she'll be way too big for a flower girl, she's 8 now and nearly the same size as me lol

    Members signature icon
    Met May 2013
    Engaged December 2015
    Getting Married 22nd June 2018! <3
  17.  
    • LeanneR0186
      CommentAuthorLeanneR0186
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Mar 15th 2016
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    Aw maybe she will have grown up a bit by then, you could have her as jr bm which is nice xx

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  18.  
    • Ellie95
      CommentAuthorEllie95
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Mar 15th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Aye I hope so, cause my main worry is that she won't smile in any photos, she was a flower girl for her auntie last September, and she was grumpy in every photo, having a face like a smacked arse ahah, so hopefully she'll be happy being my bridesmaid :P
    xoxo

    Members signature icon
    Met May 2013
    Engaged December 2015
    Getting Married 22nd June 2018! <3
  19.  
    • LeanneR0186
      CommentAuthorLeanneR0186
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Mar 15th 2016
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    At my cousin's wedding in Aug our younger cousin was the same and really stroppy, hence why I am having all adult bm's haha. xx

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  20.  
    • Ellie95
      CommentAuthorEllie95
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Mar 15th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I would like to but my god would I be under fire is I didn't have OH sister :P xoxo

    Members signature icon
    Met May 2013
    Engaged December 2015
    Getting Married 22nd June 2018! <3
  21.  
    • LeanneR0186
      CommentAuthorLeanneR0186
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Mar 15th 2016
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    That is so true, hopefully MIL will keep her in check xx

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    The Richardson's 31/12/16


  22.  
    • Ellie95
      CommentAuthorEllie95
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Mar 15th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I hope so :) xoxo

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    Met May 2013
    Engaged December 2015
    Getting Married 22nd June 2018! <3
  23.  
    • MichelleC961
      CommentAuthorMichelleC961
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Mar 15th 2016
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    I've said to my OH I will just have my sister as BM, but he says I should have 2 as looks better in photos! I sort of agree but I don't know who else to have, I have several friends who are all kinda equal and I was having just my sister as I didn't want to have to choose who to have or have lots of BMs- this wedding malarkey is soooo challenging lol x

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  24.  
    • LeanneR0186
      CommentAuthorLeanneR0186
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Mar 15th 2016
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Its really difficult, I settled mine down to my best friend from school, my best friend from uni, a cousin from my mums side, a cousin from my dads and OH sister. I felt really guilty as I am close to a lot of my cousins and didn't like choosing between them, hence I did one from each side to be fair. xx

    Members signature icon
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  25.  
    • Emily17
      CommentAuthorEmily17
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Mar 15th 2016
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    I'm just having one Michelle. OH is just having a best man too. No ushers.

    Members signature icon
    Met in 2009
    He proposed Jan 2014
    Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
 
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