I recently got engaged on our 8 year anniversary and we're planning to get married on our 10 year anniversary in 2018. I already know 2 bridesmaids for definite and ideally I would like to keep it simple and just have those 2. However, years ago when I was quite close to her, I mentioned I would probably have my partner's cousin, although now we have grown apart. I know what she is like and she will be expecting to be asked, but also if I have her I would have to include her teenage sister etc. I don't want to cause a big issue and I'm worrying how I should approach it.
Any advice would be much appreciated!
Thanks
Future Mrs Bradshaw x
Met February 2008
Got engaged February 2016
Become Mr & Mrs Bradshaw 11th February 2018 x
CommentAuthorFlossie
edited
If it was me I would just stick with your 2 definite bridesmaids. I wouldn't just ask someone because I thought they'd expect to be asked, or to keep the peace/please other people - you should have exactly who you want, those people who are going to help make your day extra special. If you and your partner's cousin have now grown apart then I don't think she should expect to be asked. If she makes it an issue then it's her problem not yours x
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorLeanneR0186
edited
Hi,
Congratulations :)
I agree with Flossie, also BM's can be expensive (we are having 5) I would only have the people you really want to be one, its such a privilege to be asked, you shouldn't feel like you have to ask people, it should be people you want. xx
The Richardson's 31/12/16
CommentAuthorEllie95
Congratulations!
Just remember that it's your day and you shouldn't have someone you don't want just because they think they should be asked, like Leanne said Bridesmaids are expensive :) xoxo
Met May 2013
Engaged December 2015
Getting Married 22nd June 2018! <3
CommentAuthorEllie95
Sorry for the double post, but if you have to have her because she's made a scene or something, I suggest you ask her to pay for her dress so you won't really be out of pocket for a bridesmaid you don't want :)
Hope this helps xoxo
Met May 2013
Engaged December 2015
Getting Married 22nd June 2018! <3
I agree with the others, don't have someone that you're not close to out of a sense of obligation. If it was your partner's sister it would be different. Perhaps you can find her and her sister another role, like female ushers.
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
CommentAuthorAnna-LouiseA
Thanks everyone that's really helpful! Was getting myself in a right old state and we haven't even booked our venue yet!
Female ushers is a good idea, I'll have a think
Met February 2008
Got engaged February 2016
Become Mr & Mrs Bradshaw 11th February 2018 x
CommentAuthorLeanneR0186
Or you could ask her to do a reading? I did one at a my step brothers wedding and it was nice to be included. x
The Richardson's 31/12/16
CommentAuthorEllie95
Glad we've helped :)
I only got my date yesterday and my OH mum has already asked if his sister is being bridesmaid lol xoxo
Met May 2013
Engaged December 2015
Getting Married 22nd June 2018! <3
CommentAuthorLeanneR0186
Have you decided on your BM yet Ellie? We are having OH'S sister as one of ours which is why we are having 5, I have had my other 4 picked for years lol. xx
The Richardson's 31/12/16
CommentAuthorEllie95
Still stuck on whether to ask my auntie or not, and I haven't asked my OH's cousins yet put I'm set on them if they agree :P xoxo
Met May 2013
Engaged December 2015
Getting Married 22nd June 2018! <3
CommentAuthorLeanneR0186
Are you not having your FSIL then? I really liked the idea of asking your auntie, she looks so young, she won't look out of place at all I think. xx
The Richardson's 31/12/16
CommentAuthorEllie95
Yeah I will be, have no choice really, tbh she's a spoilt brat, harsh I know ahah, she'll be 10 when we get married xoxo
Met May 2013
Engaged December 2015
Getting Married 22nd June 2018! <3
CommentAuthorEmily17
At least aged 10 she can be a flower girl / junior bridesmaid Ellie
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorEllie95
I'll be having her as a bridesmaid, at 10 she'll be way too big for a flower girl, she's 8 now and nearly the same size as me lol
Met May 2013
Engaged December 2015
Getting Married 22nd June 2018! <3
CommentAuthorLeanneR0186
Aw maybe she will have grown up a bit by then, you could have her as jr bm which is nice xx
The Richardson's 31/12/16
CommentAuthorEllie95
Aye I hope so, cause my main worry is that she won't smile in any photos, she was a flower girl for her auntie last September, and she was grumpy in every photo, having a face like a smacked arse ahah, so hopefully she'll be happy being my bridesmaid :P xoxo
Met May 2013
Engaged December 2015
Getting Married 22nd June 2018! <3
CommentAuthorLeanneR0186
At my cousin's wedding in Aug our younger cousin was the same and really stroppy, hence why I am having all adult bm's haha. xx
The Richardson's 31/12/16
CommentAuthorEllie95
I would like to but my god would I be under fire is I didn't have OH sister :P xoxo
Met May 2013
Engaged December 2015
Getting Married 22nd June 2018! <3
CommentAuthorLeanneR0186
That is so true, hopefully MIL will keep her in check xx
The Richardson's 31/12/16
CommentAuthorEllie95
I hope so :) xoxo
Met May 2013
Engaged December 2015
Getting Married 22nd June 2018! <3
CommentAuthorMichelleC961
I've said to my OH I will just have my sister as BM, but he says I should have 2 as looks better in photos! I sort of agree but I don't know who else to have, I have several friends who are all kinda equal and I was having just my sister as I didn't want to have to choose who to have or have lots of BMs- this wedding malarkey is soooo challenging lol x
CommentAuthorLeanneR0186
Its really difficult, I settled mine down to my best friend from school, my best friend from uni, a cousin from my mums side, a cousin from my dads and OH sister. I felt really guilty as I am close to a lot of my cousins and didn't like choosing between them, hence I did one from each side to be fair. xx
The Richardson's 31/12/16
CommentAuthorEmily17
I'm just having one Michelle. OH is just having a best man too. No ushers.
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
